Quantcast
  1. Sign up now and join over 35,000 northwest gun owners. It's quick, easy, and 100% free!

Looking for a little advice about adopted kids & guns . . .

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by thelendog, May 17, 2011.

  1. thelendog

    thelendog Milwaukie Member

    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    5
    So, after 18 yrs of marriage the Mrs & I decided to take the kid plunge and have adopted a 7 yr old boy. For almost 3 weeks now I've had a rambunctious and enthusiastic little person living with me whose only knowledge about guns is that they're cool cuz he's seen them on t.v. and in a few video games.

    He doesn't know that I own any guns, and refers to the safe in the hallway as a "dresser". But he has seen a couple antique and non-functioning revolvers I have displayed in my office, and his reaction (YOU HAVE REAL GUNS?!?!?!?) told me we have some fun days at the range ahead of us.

    After he's been with us a while and we all really get to know and trust each other, I'll start teaching him, but my question is about what to do in the mean time. As I said, he doesn't know that I own any guns, but due to a little rough-housing he does know that there's typically something quite hard under my shirt on my left side. He even bonked his head on it pretty good once at church when he ran up and hugged me really hard from that side :huh:. He's asked about it a few times, but so far we've been able to deflect his questions with a little redirection . . .

    He's a very gregarious guy and loves to talk to people when we're out and about (we've been working on "red, green, & yellow light" people too) and has even told a few people at random that I'm adopting him. What I'm worried about is his excitement about guns combining with excitement about the fact that I'm carrying leading him to want to tell others.

    I'd rather he didn't tell anybody anything about whether we own guns or not, but I REALLY don't need him telling people I'm carrying . . .

    So, any experience out there?
     
  2. gunnails

    gunnails Hillsboro Active Member

    Messages:
    752
    Likes Received:
    210
    No experience with adopted children.

    I have found what worked best for me was to be forthright in trying to answer all questions when ever possible.

    If the boy shows an interest in one of your guns, functional or not, I would show him the gun, demonstrate proper handling, and use it as an opportunity to teach what to do if he ever comes across a gun.

    Take the mystery out of it, sometimes the forbidden fruit is the most desired.
     
  3. Glock32

    Glock32 Marion county, or Active Member

    Messages:
    197
    Likes Received:
    42
    Congrats, MIne are 3 and 7, you are doing well to have them locked up. I have a large safe for most and set up a little $50 digital safe for my carry in my bedroom. will not stop a burglar but keeps the curious kids out. My kids just are comfortable with it and have been instructed not to discuss daddy's pistol with anyone. at this point they dont even notice. My advice is be honest but limit access. Mark
     
  4. ZigZagZeke

    ZigZagZeke Eugene Silver Supporter Silver Supporter 2015 Volunteer

    Messages:
    2,706
    Likes Received:
    3,541
    One way to instill a little respect for firearms right off the bat is to let him fire one of your pistols under very close supervision when the time is right. I "adopted" two step-sons (4 & 5 y.o.) when I married my present wife. None of them had ever fired a real gun. One of the first things I did was teach them gun safety and let them fire my large bore pistol a couple of times. After learning first hand that real guns are not like on TV (they're really loud and the recoil hurts) there was no "mystery" factor anymore. The boys are 16 & 17 now, and have a healthy respect for and knowledge of firearms. My wife asked me to come along and bring my CCW the other day when meeting someone to purchase something from Craig's List. We're all comfortable with firearms now.
     
  5. deadeye

    deadeye Albany,OR. Moderator Staff Member

    Messages:
    4,043
    Likes Received:
    2,188
    May get some insight from playboypenguin.
     
  6. jason97496

    jason97496 Cottage Grove, Oregon Member

    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    2
    Honesty is the best policy. I have 10 kids (some mine, some hers, one ours, and one adopted) and make it a point to never lie to any of them about anything.

    I explained to my kids that bad guys carry guns, and it would be pretty foolish if the good guys did not carry them too.

    I also told them that it is no one else's business that I have a gun with me. I told them that a lot of people are uncomfortable with even good guys carrying guns, because they are scared of guns. So, telling them about my gun would only cause problems.

    In the 2-3 years that I have been carrying, the only person who has brought attention to my CCW was my mother.
     
    Old Hick and (deleted member) like this.
  7. moparmike440

    moparmike440 SW WA Member

    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    2
    I think your on the right track I don't think he needs to know about your ccw just yet give it time in the mean time teach him to respect all firearms (toy nerf guns) . gunnails hit the nail on the head so to speak hehe Take the mystery out of it .just take it slow and use your best jugement. congrats on your new family
     
  8. Old Hick

    Old Hick Oregon Active Member

    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    31
    First off, Thank you for adopting a child.

    I have to agree with gunnails and jason97496.

    Honesty is the best thing here.
    As the Ol' saying goes, "curiosity killed the cat". Don't let him be curious. Tell him that you have a gun on your side. When you get a chance to show him an unloaded and "safe" gun, try and teach him the safety aspects of all firearms.
    Take a trip to the range, but only after a bit of handling properly at home first. Also, that you must NOT tell anyone that you have one, because some people don't like them as has been stated before.
    If you don't tell him, and he hits his head again, maybe cuts himself on it, or whatever, he might say in out loud for everyone to here "YOU HAVE A GUN"? So yes, Honesty is best here.
    Later on, you can show him what that "dresser" has in it. Be honest with him upfront, and let him know you do have a gun, but it is only for protection from the bad guys.

    Good luck.


    Stay Safe.
     
  9. caden08

    caden08 washougal Member

    Messages:
    325
    Likes Received:
    14
    Wow that's great! I was adopted and am very thankful to have grown up with my biological sister who took us both in at a young age!

    I was making guns out of my toast at 3 and started shooting shortly after. I say start teaching gun safety now with a bolt .22 and slowly move up to other weapons as he grows.

    IMHO there is no need to tell him about your guns or where they are or that you CC. For his and your protection. But take the kid shooting! I now have a 3year old and started pulling out my weapons and cleaning them around him to open his mind to them. I take my son every once in a while with the .22 and he loves it.
     
  10. Cougfan2

    Cougfan2 Hillsboro, OR Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,792
    Likes Received:
    597
    + 1
     
  11. twoclones

    twoclones Tri-Cities, WA Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,129
    Likes Received:
    180
    At a bit younger than your new boy, I was adopted by my Mother's second husband. He said I was a real pain in the neck until he started taking me fishing. Must have been a trust building thing.
     
  12. SPU

    SPU Southwest Oregon Old Fart

    Messages:
    404
    Likes Received:
    90
    I adopted two young babies (1/2 brother and sister) 15 years ago from the State of Oregon. No guns in the house until they got older so I can't give advice on that. Your post seems to imply the adoption is not final. I would be very careful if that is the case. There are those social workers(I'm married to one so I have nothing against them, per se) and some judges, that would frown on guns in the home, especially if not locked up around the boy. After the judge signs the papers -- he's yours. Until then, anything can happen. Just my $.02
     
  13. thelendog

    thelendog Milwaukie Member

    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    5
    You're right, it's not finalized spu, and even though the caseworkers know I'm a gun owner, I won't be introducing him to guns until it is. Not only do I not want him talking about me carrying, but I don't want him telling the wrong people about my suppressed sbr or any other non-pc things I've got in that "dresser".

    Thanks for the input everybody, I'll send a msg to playboypenguin and see what he has to say.
     
  14. PlayboyPenguin

    PlayboyPenguin Pacific Northwest Well-Known Member 2016 Volunteer

    Messages:
    4,833
    Likes Received:
    1,744
    We are currently apopting two kids. One is already about to be finalized and the other is in the early stages. They are 12 and 6.

    The first question I have to ask is if the adopting is final yet. if not then do NOT in any way allow him to handle or shoot a firearm. It is actually against the law if the child is still a ward of the state.

    If the adoption is final the best policy in my opinion is to tell him nothing. Kids will talk. I found that out the hard way when our six year old came downstairs unannounced and came into my bathroom as I was putting my EDC on my belt. Even though I explained it to him and told him it was not something we shared with other people it took only about a week before he told his friends and then his teacher and case worker found out.

    Your kid is a little older though. I have always found that around eight years old is when you can first start trusting them to not talk without thinking. Of course that depends on their emotional level and children that come from being a ward of the state are often emotionally delayed. Therefore you just have to use your best judgment. The one thing that is most important is that he NEVER have access to a firearm unsupervised. Keep them all locked away unless they are on your person.
     
    thelendog and (deleted member) like this.
  15. Mark W.

    Mark W. Silverton, OR Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

    Messages:
    5,776
    Likes Received:
    4,967
    My advise based on raising my own children one of whom is my step daughter is the day after your adoption is finalized and your a family. Take the boy out and start teaching him everything he can hold about your firearms.

    As we all know probations and bans tend to have exactly thoppositete effect desired.

    I found that with proper education and training my son by age 5 was chewing adults out at gun shows for dry firing pistols without first clearing the chamber.
     
  16. thelendog

    thelendog Milwaukie Member

    Messages:
    235
    Likes Received:
    5
    Thanks for the input PP, sounds like you know what I'm talking about, adopting foster kids is a whole new world.
     
  17. oregonty

    oregonty Salem, OR Active Member

    Messages:
    263
    Likes Received:
    46