Limericks Or Quotes You Like!

[turbo_vanner]

favorite quote is 'nothing is quite enough' don't know who said it, and it works both ways.

favorite poem...

love is the fart of the heart,
for when held in, doth hurt the host,
but when let out, hurts others most.

 

[Capn Jack]

"There is no sweeter Revenge than outliving your enemies"

Another from Shel:

Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer




P

From , "A Boy Named Sue". I love that song.My wife hates it.
Johnny Cash. Rest in peace Brother.

 

[albin25]

"always check your back pocket before you flush...
....you may have dropped your wallet"

 

[Member 18201]

There was a young lady so bright
That her speed was much faster than light
She went out one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night

 

[MannyGlocks]

That silly little fish the Crawfree

Has been swimming in my coffee

And now I've drunk it up

And he isn't in the cup

And he's no where to be found

Do you think that he has drowned?

Author: Shel Silverstein

 

[nammac]

There once was a man from Pawtucket, his....

Wait are the kids around

 

[2A2Dend]

This topic sure went (pick your azimuth) quick!!
68, ,70

 

[nammac]

There once was a man from Ta-das,
Whose ba!!'s were made of brass,
When they'd clang together,
They'd play "Stormy Weather",
And lightening would shoot out of his arse...

That should just about conclude my contributions to the limerick thread...

 

[titsonritz]

I like to have a martini.

Two at the very most.

After three I'm under the table,after four I'm under my host.

Author: Dorothy Parker

I have a better martini one...

Martinis are like women's breasts
one is not enough
and three is too many

 

[CamoDeafie]

I have a better martini one...

Martinis are like women's breasts
one is not enough
and three is too many

But not when you're a Martian

 

[titsonritz]

But not when you're a Martian

 

[CamoDeafie]

Was referring to the Total Recall films. Apparently the remake kept the three breasted character

 

[MannyGlocks]

I fear the wrath
Of the Underslung Zath.
Will someone else tell him
It's time for his bath?

In the undergrowth
There dwells the Bloath
Who feeds upon poets and tea.
Luckily I know this about him,
While he knows almost nothing of me.

Shel Silverstein

 

[MannyGlocks]

There's a Polar Bear
In our Frigidaire--
He likes it 'cause it's cold in there.

With his seat in the meat
And his face in the fish
And his big hairy paws
In the buttery dish,
He's nibbling the noodles,
He's munching the rice,
He's slurping the soda,
He's licking the ice.

And he lets out a roar
If you open the door.

And it gives me a scare
To know he's in there--
That Polary Bear
In our Fridgitydaire.

Shel S.

 

[MannyGlocks]

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.


Dorothy Parker

 

[HA556]

From my dad when I was a kid:

Son, if you don't knock that S#1t off, I'm going to run up one side, down the other and dance on your kidney! And you can quote me on that!

 

[MannyGlocks]

The Little Boy and the Old Man

Said the little boy, "Sometimes I drop my spoon.

Said the old man, "I do that too.

"The little boy whispered, "I wet my pants.

"I do that too," laughed the little old man.

Said the little boy, "I often cry.

The old man nodded, "So do I.

But worst of all," said the boy, "it seems
Grown-ups don't pay attention to me.

And he felt the warmth of a wrinkled old hand.

"I know what you mean," said the little old man.

THE PLANET OF MARS

On the planet of Mars
They have clothes just like ours,
And they have the same shoes and same laces,
And they have the same charms and same graces,
And they have the same heads and same faces…
But not in the
Very same
Places

Author: Not sure...

If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.


Dorothy Parker




Top

 

[MannyGlocks]

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.


Dorothy Parker

 

[MannyGlocks]

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.


Dorothy Parker

 

[MannyGlocks]

C'mon, let your fingers dance.

Let's hear what you have to say!