Let people steal your trash, free!

[Diamondback]

Blame my mother, the bathroom-humor gene comes from her branch of the family tree.

 

[eldbillbo]

My stepmother's brother had a problem like that so he put a rattlesnake in one and sure enough, it was grabbed. Would have been funny to see the looks on the faces of the person opening the box.

 

[Alexx1401]

I once read of a hippie construction-worker who dealt with serial lunch theft by dropping a four-way hit of acid into a "bait" sandwich and watching to see who came back off break high... when one of the big dudes started talking about skinny-dipping with the boss's wife after work, GAME OVER. As was his job.
h/t George Hayduke

This is again dangerous but, hard to feel sorry for the thief. Guy I worked with long ago did this. Working at a tire shop they found a dead mouse under a tire that had been there a long time. Someone there kept stealing food from the break room fridge. So one took the mouse, put it in a sandwich and back in bag in fridge. Later they found the thief as he was puking all over the place and had to go to ER. They never did catch the person who did it although the Co of course was NOT amused as the "victim" (thief) of course sued. Don't know if he got a pay off or not.

 

[Ura-Ki]

I may or may not know of a "Lunch Thief" who was pilfering peoples lunches from the employees fridge. This person of suspect may have encountered some tacos that had been liberally loaded with a very potent medical grade stool softener and laxative! This suspect person was alleged to have spent the following 4 hours of his duty shift curled up in the fecal position upon the throne of despair blowing the remainder of his innards out of a too small factory orifice! He may or may not have experienced some medical maladies related to excessive anal discharge from operating at higher then recommended operating pressures!

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

serves them right. get your own lunch

 

[Diamondback]

I may of may not know of a "Lunch Thief" who was pilfering peoples lunches from the employees fridge. This person of suspect may have encountered some tacos that had been liberally loaded with a very potent medical grade stool softener and laxative! This suspect person was alleged to have spent the following 4 hours of his duty shift curled up in the fecal position upon the throne of despair blowing the remainder of his innards out of a too small factory orifice! He may or may not have experienced some medical maladies related to excessive anal discharge from operating at higher then recommended operating pressures!

And I thought Ex-Lax Chip Cookies was good... LOL

 

[Alexx1401]

And I thought Ex-Lax Chip Cookies was good... LOL

LONG ago guy I knew did that with Vodka. He worked Swing at a plant. Kids kept breaking into his place looking for small stuff. Mostly just beer or liquor. He went to store bought a cheap bottle of Vodka. Put a box of the Exlax pills in there and got them to dissolve. He stuck the bottle in the cupboard. Took a long time but one night someone broke in again. When he got home that bottle was gone. He used to laugh thinking about the hangover they must have had.

 

[Ura-Ki]

LONG ago guy I knew did that with Vodka. He worked Swing at a plant. Kids kept breaking into his place looking for small stuff. Mostly just beer or liquor. He went to store bought a cheap bottle of Vodka. Put a box of the Exlax pills in there and got them to dissolve. He stuck the bottle in the cupboard. Took a long time but one night someone broke in again. When he got home that bottle was gone. He used to laugh thinking about the hangover they must have had.

Just imagine the level of discomfort from the mother of all hangovers, the colon blow alone would be epic!

 

[Diamondback]

Just imagine the level of discomfort from the mother of all hangovers, the colon blow alone would be epic!

Talk about blowin' out yer O-ring... *snickering evilly*