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Hmmm, science. In a nutshell:

Highlights

•An ethnographic account states an Inuit man made a knife from his own frozen feces.
•We experimentally tested knives manufactured from frozen human feces.
•Knives manufactured from frozen human feces do not work.

 
Man has been making knives out of all kinds of things for a lot longer then he has had the abilities to make and use metals!
Though this take that to a whole 'nother level, it's only useful while it's frozen! Bit wait, I see a usefulness here! A feller could make one, and simple drop the blade on the ground right there on the spot and volia, no evidence to connect to a crime! Dude got stabbed with a turd/ Prove it!:s0140:
 
Man has been making knives out of all kinds of things for a lot longer then he has had the abilities to make and use metals!
Though this take that to a whole 'nother level, it's only useful while it's frozen! Bit wait, I see a usefulness here! A feller could make one, and simple drop the blade on the ground right there on the spot and volia, no evidence to connect to a crime! Dude got stabbed with a turd/ Prove it!:s0140:
"The suspect fled the scene, vigorously scrubbing his hands... He was later caught brown, errr... red handed as his DNA was smeared everywhere. "
Of course, police were reluctant to fingerprint him but witnesses confirmed the suspect had indeed been eating corn the day before.
 
I read a story a while back, too long to remember when or where, so probably
last week. Anyway, they made knife blades out of frozen blood. This took place in
the far frozen north. They stuck the blades point up in the ice/snow. The wolves
who were stalking them would sniff the blades, smell blood, lick it, taste blood and
keep on licking, lacerating their tongues; then die or go away or whatever.
 
Church of England wants to ban "pointed kitchen knives". Holy cr@p (pun possibly intended). Thank God there is a bigly pond between us. Of course, criminals will still be allowed to have pointy kitchen knives as they're just misunderstood.

 
you-cant-polish-a-turd-but-you-can-roll-it-in-glitter-684ab.png
 
Church of England wants to ban "pointed kitchen knives". Holy cr@p (pun possibly intended). Thank God there is a bigly pond between us. Of course, criminals will still be allowed to have pointy kitchen knives as they're just misunderstood.

When you come to a spork in the road, take it!
 
UPDATE: But wait, there's more! Doubling down on their fear of pointy knives in society, the Brits have invented a stabby proof knife. Now that they solved another one of societies woes, maybe they will find a way for hammers to be less poundy and offensive to passersby.
 

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