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Yesterday afternoon when taking my puppy out for a walk, one of the guys who lives down the street came hauling bubblegum past us. This is a narrow, country road with no sidewalks.

My puppy has been slowly working over a big fear of cars. Jackass driver doesn't know that, doesn't need to. Not the point, but some added context. He's been improving, but this just set him back again.

So this asswipe goes flying past us with his bro-dozer towing an empty dump trailer, basically bouncing down the road, my puppy is freaked out as I try to keep him sitting and distracted. When he passes, I give him the finger. Not something I normally would do, but being bubbleguming pissed, it just came out.

So bro-dozer decides to stop and start reversing, jumps out and proceeds to get in my face. 10 years ago, he would have never made it that far before being on the ground. (I'm a second-degree blackbelt in Jujitsu, grew up playing amateur hockey where I served the first few years as an enforcer and competed in shootfighting matches in the '90s. I can handle myself.)

This day in age, I'm not about to get in a fist fight with some jackass with my puppy tethered to me, not to mention there's just nothing in it for me. The legal and practical consequences outweighed any chip to my ego. I've broken every finger in my hands, don't need to deal with that nonsense again if it can be avoided.

I told him everyone else in the neighborhood had the courtesy to slow down and give room when they drive past pedestrians, but nooooo, not him. He's special.

I walked away as he lobbed profanities at me. I just walked away.

Yes, I was carrying at the time, always do. I never felt he was a serious threat.

I know I made the right decision, but damn it would have been satisfying to give that punk come to Jesus moment with the side effect of a broken arm and the brief inability to breathe.
 
I've had the exact same experiences multiple times on my country road. The road dead ends on Puget Sound, has a 35 MPH speed limit and a bunch of hills that limit the distance of your vision. Speeders crest the hills and there's a bicyclist, a jogger or a dog-walker on the side of the road (that at best, has about a two-foot wide shoulder. Some of the clowns (typically from the million-dollar plus properties on the water) I've clocked at 60 MPH which is way stupid speed here.

Every year, some jackwagon hits a deer, and every five years someone drives into a tree and kills themself. Visibility is limited even on the flat portions of the road, but particularly at the bottoms of the hills due to being in the woods with tall trees and dark shadowed areas.

In the past eighteen years, I've had a few young bucks stop after I've given them you're #1 sign or yelled "Slow the F down!" I put on a hi-vis safety vest to walk my dogs (coincidentally, the more deluxe versions conceal a full-sized handgun over a tee shirt or tank top) but even in broad daylight sometimes I feel like I'm risking my life to walk my dogs.

I did have occasion to badge one a$$hat that told me he was going to kick my butt a few years back, but now that I'm retired, I have to rely on my charm and persuasion.

I got nothing to prove to anyone now, so I just walk away, too, but yeah, it's tough. The wife said I was mentioned in a thread on her Nextdoor neighborhood website, called the crazy old guy with the big German Shepherds that yells at everybody to slow the ---- down. Apparently a few posters shamed the person who made the comment and supported me. I still can't get any of our deputies to spend even an hour or so around here for speed limit enforcement, apparently the county only does it in school zones now.
 
This is what I conveyed to my friend when he first got his CHL.

He made a remark of "Oh I have to be a little B, or a little P?!" And I said "yes". If you escalate the situation you will be arrested. They will want a run-down of the situation and if you in any way made the situation worse and escalated it, you won't be walking away.
I claimed that you have to simply be the bigger person and accept that words are words and that sometimes if you engage with hot-heads it only goes from bad to worse. It's not worth it. There is no winning. The jury judging a possible future case against you will care little about your precious ego and you'll be charged. De-escalate if possible, if it is not possible, walk away.

Luckily he took that to heart.

Learning to walk away really sucks because it would be nice to tell some people off.. but in the end, especially with how crazy this world is, I'd rather just let it go and move on.

Sorry about the situation and your puppy.
We JUST got a 1yo lab, so I know the training woes you're dealing with. I'm sure in time the puppy will learn not to be as nervous with vehicles.
 
Its hard to take the bubblegum sometimes....

But you know that in the end YOU will be the one in cuffs regardless of how it goes down. You let them run their suck for a bit and its over....

Nothing gets physical so it doesnt matter.

theres a lot of guys in the ground and in jail over their pride and ego.


Thats the thing with choosing to be armed, or trained with a dangerous skillset... you have the power to drop these idiots but on the other side of that coin is the responsibility of not doing so unless you are really in danger... and for guys like us, the threshold of what is an actual danger is pretty high because we have the ability to destroy people.
 
Its hard to take the bubblegum sometimes....

But you know that in the end YOU will be the one in cuffs regardless of how it goes down. You let them run their suck for a bit and its over....

Nothing gets physical so it doesnt matter.

theres a lot of guys in the ground and in jail over their pride and ego.


Thats the thing with choosing to be armed, or trained with a dangerous skillset... you have the power to drop these idiots but on the other side of that coin is the responsibility of not doing so unless you are really in danger... and for guys like us, the threshold of what is an actual danger is pretty high because we have the ability to destroy people.
Yep, even my wife has had that ingrained. She won't respond to some idiot mouthing off either, no matter how much she wants to, because she knows if she drags herself into the fight I am joining by default, and I do not do shades of grey. Issues are either not worth fighting over at all, or they are worth ending a fight as expediently as possible, no in between. I do carry some stuff for deescalation (bright light, pepper spray) but I will only use that if I feel it is safe/there is time to do so. Most such situations go from 0 to 100 real quick, and I make efforts to practice my draw at least a few times a week. We conduct ourselves accordingly.
 
I was visiting the Taj Mahal in India, where there's a ton of scams, and one evening a girlfriend and I took a bicycle cab for a ride to look at the Taj Mahal at night. The cab cycles us down some very dark back streets, and then starts insulting my girlfriend. I jammed my foot into the wheel to stop the bicycle cab, and told my girlfriend, "We need to get out on the main street immediately, into a well lit area." I knew about the scam before hand. They provoke a fight, then a bunch of guys jump out, mug and kill the man, and sometimes rape the woman.

India used to be a safe place to travel, but that's changed. Before we got to Hempi, India, 5 women were mugged and stabbed to death, and while we were there, it happened to 2 more. The crooks in India learned how easy it is to mug and kill tourists. None of this makes it into the news, because it would hurt tourism.

Before the anti-gun people in the USA, none of the stories about mass shootings got much attention. Back in the 1980s we just called it, "Going Postal." It's all about money and politics, plus China ordered Obama to disarm Americans, to protect all the farmland they've been buying. China still remembers what happened after the gold rush ended in the late 1800s, and all the Chinese were either shot, or run off at gunpoint.
 
give him the finger.
I've given them you're #1 sign
While I respect the both of you mentioning how you 'walked away' from your encounters did you BOTH not INITIALLY exacerbate your encounters - or instigate them with your 'one finger peace signs'?

Understand I AGREE with you both on your experiences with these drivers, and would be POd as well
but what exactly did you expect to gain from flipping them off? Did you think this was going to scare them off ?

HeII no, most people will stop and engage YOU about this - as you both experienced.

Quite frankly if you cannot control something as simple as your middle finger maybe you should reconsider carrying firearms as your control of them may be similarly as inconsiderate....
 
Last Edited:
While I respect the both of you mentioning how you 'walked away' from your encounters did you BOTH not INITIALLY exacerbate your encounters - or instigate them with your 'one finger peace signs'?

Understand I AGREE with you both on your experiences with these drivers, and would be POd as well
but what exactly did you expect to gain from flipping them off? Did you think this was going to scare them off ?

HeII no, most people will stop and engage YOU about this - as you both experienced.
I understand the perspective. Again, not something I typically do, it's just one of those things that happened.

It's easy to MMQB the situation on the internet. Of course in hindsight I know the action was wrong. You don't necessarily see the future in the heat of the moment. Despite how controlled and robotic everyone thinks everyone else should be, we're all emotional beings.

Given how this guy drives though the neighborhood constantly, I seriously doubt this is the first middle finger he's seen.

Quite frankly if you cannot control something as simple as your middle finger maybe you should reconsider carrying firearms as your control of them may be as inconsiderate....
To this snide, holier-than-thou tidbit: :rolleyes: I'm walking away. ;)
 
Actually I find just being the most humble person in the situation works for me. Not to be a doormat, but honestly, someone else's inability to integrate into society or follow simple rules is certainly not the hill I'm willing to die on.

Let them go on their way, eventually karma will catch up with them. I'll go my way and not dwell on their inabilities or transgressions, knowing life will eventually catch up with them.

That's just me…
 
You THINK you can handle yourself against him. Do you know him personally? He may be a third degree black belt and retired professional door kicker. You don't know. He may also have been carrying with an itchy trigger finger. You don't know.

I think you made the right decision. Not worth you getting the come to Jesus you didn't know you were about to get. Always best to just not get involved in the first place.

I have no reason to doubt your ability, just giving a different perspective.
 
You THINK you can handle yourself against him. Do you know him personally? He may be a third degree black belt and retired professional door kicker. You don't know. He may also have been carrying with an itchy trigger finger. You don't know.

I think you made the right decision. Not worth you getting the come to Jesus you didn't know you were about to get. Always best to just not get involved in the first place.

I have no reason to doubt your ability, just giving a different perspective.
Yep, that's always crossed my mind in dealing with JQP. I'm not sure how to even verbalize how even flipping the bird is out of character for me. It just happened, likely because of the effect it had on Flint, my puppy.

No excuse, I know. But I'm glad I at least had the self-control to disengage. I understand my role in the encounter, I really do.
 
Actually I find just being the most humble person in the situation works for me. Not to be a doormat, but honestly, someone else's inability to integrate into society or follow simple rules is certainly not the hill I'm willing to die on.
Ditto this.

I believe it follows the 'big stick' ideology - IE "speak softly and carry a big stick."
 
Did the driver actually break any law? I understand that rude is rude but was he speeding or over the line or anything like that? There's always two sides to every story, I sympathize with you OP but the younger generation was raised only to think about themselves. He probably thinks he's in the right because he may have been obeying all traffic laws and was raised an entitled beatch and that is why he reacted so aggressively. I'm glad it didn't escalate for you. I know that I sometimes get as "friendly" as legally possible when cyclists are exerting their presence on the road. I am a very courteous driver until provoked though. Now, the important thing, I love dogs, can we see the pup you are raising?
 
All us Gen X'ers that grew up in the 80's had atleast one friend with a dad that screamed at cars. Yelling at cars as they flew down their street (but they couldn't hear the screams because they were already gone...) "SLOW DOWN ASSH@LE!!" Those were the days.
 
All us Gen X'ers that grew up in the 80's had atleast one friend with a dad that screamed at cars. Yelling at cars as they flew down their street (but they couldn't hear the screams because they were already gone...) "SLOW DOWN ASSH@LE!!" Those were the days.
That was my neighbors' dad. Big black, unemployed dude in the 'hood everyone knew not to bubblegum with. His, ours and the house on the other side of him were impervious to the 'hood rat things that would happen regularly.

Growing up in Oakland in the 80's and 90's was something.
 
All us Gen X'ers that grew up in the 80's had atleast one friend with a dad that screamed at cars. Yelling at cars as they flew down their street (but they couldn't hear the screams because they were already gone...) "SLOW DOWN ASSH@LE!!" Those were the days.
It's 2024, I have no kids and I am that dad.
 

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