Is this irresponsible? RE: CCW and my adopted son

PlayboyPenguin · Nov 22, 2010

We just recently adopted a 12 yr old boy from the foster care system in WA. To make the adoption easier we moved across the river from Portland, OR to Vancouver, WA. Because of this I had to go the other day and change my carry permits.

While going to the sheriff's office to make the change my new son asked why we were going. I told him to change the address on my permit and explained what the permit was for after he asked me. He then said "Why would you need to do that? Why would you ever need to carry a gun?"

It struck me right there and then that he has no idea that I carry a concealed firearm. He knows I own guns and he knows he is not to bother them but he does not know I carry one.

It is not like I have made an extra effort to hide it from him. I am just not someone that announces it. In fact even at home I am discreet about it. I keep my EDC in a finger safe under the powder bath sink downstairs near the front door. When we leave the house I go into the bathroom and put my carry on my belt. When I get home I go in the bathroom and remove it and place it in the safe. Still, I did not take the chance to correct him at that time and I did not inform him that I do carry. I am not sure why. I just did not feel the need to tell him then and there. I did explain to him why I would need to carry a gun. That I might need to defend myself and him against a threat from a bad person.

Does anyone see any reason I should let him know?

Cougfan2 · Nov 22, 2010

The biggest thing I would worry about if I were you is if one of the adoption workers is talking to your son and he let's slip that "daddy carries a gun". Forgive my ignorance, but I have no idea if they do follow up interviews with you and your adopted son to see how things are working or once the adoption process is complete they really have no more contact with you. I would probably explain to him, as you did, that you carry your firearm to be able to protect yourself and him when you are not at home. I would also make it a point to tell him that is something we don't need to discuss with other people.

spengo · Nov 22, 2010

PlayboyPenguin said:
he knows he is not to bother them

Perhaps this is the problem.

Why not introduce him to shooting? Take him to appleseed, teach him to hunt (if you hunt anyway), show him the cool evil black ones and bring him to a practical rifle competition when he is good enough with the fundamentals and safety rules.

It seems like it would be a good father-son bonding type of thing which is extra important with adopted kids and it would familiarize him with firearms. When he is used to being around them and how to handle them it probably won't bother or surprise him that you carry.

PlayboyPenguin · Nov 22, 2010

spengo said:
Perhaps this is the problem.

Why not introduce him to shooting? Take him to appleseed, teach him to hunt (if you hunt anyway), show him the cool evil black ones and bring him to a practical rifle competition when he is good enough with the fundamentals and safety rules.

It seems like it would be a good father-son bonding type of thing which is extra important with adopted kids and it would familiarize him with firearms. When he is used to being around them and how to handle them it probably won't bother or surprise him that you carry.

Because, until our final court date (which takes a minimum of 6 months), he is not allowed access to firearms.

Kimber Custom · Nov 22, 2010

I wouldn't. At least not until the final court date.

My girls know but it causes me some anxiety because sometimes they can blurt things out at inappropriate times. I'm always a little on edge when they come to the office. My boss has horses and has invited the girls out to ride. They love it but again there's that possiblity they are going to say something that might require a little extra explanation on my part.

Might not be as big an issue at 12 as it is with my 8yo but I would err on the side of caution; again at least until the final court date.

Red Ryder · Nov 22, 2010

My wife and I adopted 3 through WA state. As long as the guns were secured in a safe, that was all the social workers were concerned about. They asked if I had any I and I told then they were in a safe. End of discussion. I wouldn't go out of the way to dwell on the topic. Some social workers could have an anti-gun bent so I would avoid the topic unless they raise it. Your guns should be secured anyway. Once you are finalized on your adoption, it should be an issue.

BTW, congratulations on stepping up and adopting a child.

Spec.-K · Nov 22, 2010

My advice would be to keep it fairly quiet.
I believe the element of suprise is crucial in a defensive situation, especially when defending others.

My girlfriend has two kids(3, and 9), and there's no way I want the kids to suddenly blurt out "Oh yeah?!? Well my daddy has a gun!" at ANY time he/they feel the need to act macho(or even threatened in the least).

When they're old enough to fully understand the gravity of the situation, I will teach them about being armed/constantly vigilant.
Until then, I don't want them to risk revealing my Ace-in-the-sleeve to everyone within earshot.
I even have adult friends that don't know when/when it's not appropiate to mention I am an armed individual.
Once the bad guys know you're the biggest equalizer/threat, they will most likely try to force you to play that Ace, and in bad form...
-K