Is anyone here in a band? (NSFW)

[coastal steelheader]

The greatest Craigslist ad ever

<broken link removed>

Read More

 

[parallax]

.

 

[MrNiceGuy]

always copy/past craigslist articles.
They only last a few days and this thread will be around f o r e v e r

 

[coastal steelheader]

always copy/past craigslist articles.
They only last a few days and this thread will be around f o r e v e r

I don't think I can repost the ad here without getting banned - or at least I can't repost the parts that are funny

 

[krkruse]

and its gone...

 

[coastal steelheader]

Female Seeking to be band groupie (Your rehearsal space)
Date: 2011-11-23, 4:07PM PST
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
Female seeking to be band groupie. Just turned 19 and I'm looking to get my ROCK on. Hire me and I will stalk the **** out of your band! Turn up at every gig and make it look like I genuinely adore you.

I promise to wear super tight, revealing clothing and super high heels. I'm also cultured enough to know that you dance to the BASS, so I'm totally going to have to bubblegum the bass player at some point, even though I know they're usually the fat pigs of the band.

Let me manage your Facebook page and Myspace page. I will hit the streets and sing your praises! Even if you look and sound like crap, I will make you look hotter!

If all this sounds good, wait, there's more! I also play the tambourine like a motherf****** riot! I can provide background percussion or whatever you need to fill out your sound.

All this talent doesn't come cheap! $200 a week is my starting rate, and it goes up based upon how bad your band is, or how ugly your bassist is (since I'm going to have to bubblegum him at some point).

My name is Vanessa and I'm ready to work!

Here's my picture so you get an idea of what you are hiring:

 

[lonegunman]

That's class baby.

 

[BUZZWILD]

hmmm be in a band or go to college.....
wish i could go back in time and played guitar instead of going to the army for college money.... (sarcasm, kinda)

 

[Redcap]

Hey, I'm a fat ugly guy that plays bass! I'm not, however, interested in paying money to get genital warts from that skag.

 

[Mark W.]

I bet her daddys proud!

 

[eldbillbo]

Being from a late 80s through 90s band, That cracks me up, good for her, she might as well get paid to hang around a bunch of poser drama queen men who if it were not for being in a band could not get a date if they tried.

look at most rock stars most of them are pretty darn ugly and the wanna be rockstars are just as ugly and don't have anything going for them selves unless they get famous

she may actually have a brain in her head compared to those who will let some long haired hippy freak take advantage of them for nothing other than a stage pass and to be able to say they did a rock star.

I have some great stories of the days in the band. :rockstar:

 

[Wood Worker]

She sounds like trouble with a capital T.