How to Fake Work From Home - Video Conferencing edition

[RicInOR]

People Are Looping Videos to Fake Paying Attention in Zoom Meetings


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[Cavedweller]

Yankee ingenuity!

 

[pietro beretta]

I'm calling out the first asshat who thinks they are fooling anyone.

And Randy, your on screen share, please turn off the porn until outside working hours. I get it, we are all frustrated, first and last warning, just please turn off screen share.

 

[MannyGlocks]

first and last warning?

Huh?

 

[RicInOR]

Look better on video calls using pro photography techniques

Use some professional photography techniques to look your best during Zoom parties.

www.popsci.com

 

[Kruel J]

I'm technically supposed to work from home, but I'm here.

 

[Capn Jack]

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.

So I looked through the house to find all the things I've started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.



Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now.

(Unknown)

 

[wired]

My job is "essential". Blah Blah Blah. I havent heard of any that arent essential besides restaurants.

 

[Kruel J]

My job is "essential". Blah Blah Blah. I havent heard of any that arent essential besides restaurants.

Same. Cabelas, flooring stores, auto parts stores are all "essential" I guess.

 

[gmerkt]

Even before the virus hit, I wasn't fooled by the "working from home" thing. Two of my three adult children have employment where that is possible. But I have to say, how much less productive is it than people at work on-site spending hours on the clock emailing, Googling, and looking at social media. It's theft of time in both cases.

tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns

I'm not a recreational drug user, but I've had a number of surgeries including dental implants. When they offer me Valium "to calm my nerves" I never turn it down. Pretty slick stuff. One time I reported to the ER with chest pains. Which turned out not to be cardiac related, they gave me a dose of morphine to calm me down. That was really smooth. I see how people get hooked on this stuff, but I'm thinking if you do it all the time, it's no longer special.

 

[Capn Jack]

The only thing they ever gave me in the hospital that didn't make me sick was demurral (?)

I knew it was starting to work when my nose would itch and my mouth tasted like I had been drinking gasoline.

 

[NCW_Robert]

But I have to say, how much less productive is it than people at work on-site spending hours on the clock emailing, Googling, and looking at social media. It's theft of time in both cases.

Theft of time...

If I had a business with employees they would not have access to the internet from their desk or work stations.

I would have one centrally located work station where from every where in the office you can bee seen if your are there and have one or two terminals with internet access.

There also would be a security cam on a poll coming down from the roof pointing at it with a little sigh right under it that says "boss cam".

Employees would get a base salary or per hr rate. The rest of their pay would be based on productivity and other stuff like errors and the amount of work they produce that then needed to be reworked. There would not be many people there as I would simply fire 50% of them once a week, or threaten to.

But that is just me. Guess it would be kinda hard for me to keep actual employees around...

This is based on the time spent working for companies where I had to fix every one else's f-ups and the time I spend as supervisor, or as I like to put it, the only adult in a romper room full of adult cry babies.

Oh well, maybe that is why I am a one guy business. Tried firing the only guy at the company a few times, didn't work, I still shows up once in a while.

 

[gmerkt]

Theft of time...

If I had a business with employees they would not have access to the internet from their desk or work stations.

I would have one centrally located work station where from every where in the office you can bee seen if your are there and have one or two terminals with internet access.

There also would be a security cam on a poll coming down from the roof pointing at it with a little sigh right under it that says "boss cam".

Employees would get a base salary or per hr rate. The rest of their pay would be based on productivity and other stuff like errors and the amount of work they produce that then needed to be reworked. There would not be many people there as I would simply fire 50% of them once a week, or threaten to.

But that is just me. Guess it would be kinda hard for me to keep actual employees around...

This is based on the time spent working for companies where I had to fix every one else's f-ups and the time I spend as supervisor, or as I like to put it, the only adult in a romper room full of adult cry babies.

Oh well, maybe that is why I am a one guy business. Tried firing the only guy at the company a few times, didn't work, I still shows up once in a while.

I say amen to that. I have personal experience of everything you say there. A saying comes to mind, "Eight hours work for eight hours pay." Or however many hours. Honest work for honest pay. This is an issue with a society that has moved from industrial to information age. Sometimes the product available on the basis of information is like the internet. Sometimes good, sometimes hot air.

I've seen on the news some Amazon warehouses do not permit their employees to bring cellphones in to work. They know what time-wasters they are.

 

[wired]

Thats all nice and fine but when you do try doing to overbearing control freak stuff you immediately lose all your employees. People dont put up with that crap when you arent the only person in the world to work for. I say that as someone who has been a lower level employee and as someone who is an upper level manager. That crap doesnt fly in the real world.

 

[Hueco]

I'm calling out the first asshat who thinks they are fooling anyone.

I forgot to mute while on an all hands call today and started working on a complete strip of a 1911 for cleaning. Just some clanging to most people, but my manager recognized the sound of a slide dropping.

Oh, and whoops.

I'm technically supposed to work from home, but I'm here.

Yeaaa...kiddos daycare is closed so my work day just got adjusted to as many hours as I can manage during the day followed by however long it takes starting at 9:00pm.

I'm not a recreational drug user, but I've had a number of surgeries including dental implants. When they offer me Valium "to calm my nerves" I never turn it down. Pretty slick stuff. One time I reported to the ER with chest pains. Which turned out not to be cardiac related, they gave me a dose of morphine to calm me down. That was really smooth. I see how people get hooked on this stuff, but I'm thinking if you do it all the time, it's no longer special.

That's what I hear but every time I was given morphine, I was in enough pain that it didn't really do much for me.

 

[308]

Working at home depends on if you are paid for the hours you work, or the work you were hired to do.

My last job was to design and quote industrial HVAC systems. If the customer was happy, everyone was happy and it did not matter how many hours I worked. I was paid for the job I did, not the hours recorded.

 

[nammac]

My job is "essential". Blah Blah Blah. I havent heard of any that arent essential besides restaurants.

But your doctors office and dentist office are off limits, nothing essential about the services they provide

 

[gmerkt]

But your doctors office and dentist office are off limits, nothing essential about the services they provide

I understand the corona virus thing. But basically, we've lost our health care coverage for anything other than emergencies. And there may be long waits for that.
Our county executive came out and said it may get to the point where they set up triage to see who gets treated. Meaning, the worst will be ignored, the fixable will be seen, and anything else can go pound sand. Not limited to corona virus, he was referring to all health care.

 

[nammac]

I understand the corona virus thing. But basically, we've lost our health care coverage for anything other than emergencies. And there may be long waits for that.
Our county executive came out and said it may get to the point where they set up triage to see who gets treated. Meaning, the worst will be ignored, the fixable will be seen, and anything else can go pound sand. Not limited to corona virus, he was referring to all health care.

When the demands on any health care system outstrip it's capacity, triage is the way it's traditionally handled. Anywhere in the world. unfortunately, the public hadn't taken this virus threat seriously enough, soon enough... Look at New York... Or Florida Beaches or Multnomah Falls this past weekend...

It's gonna get worse, because it's taken 3-4 weeks for people to get it through their thick heads to self isolate... And then only when mandated...

My point in my previous post was what's considered essential and what's been closed doesn't make sense... We don't need weed shops, but sure could use doctors offices and dentist offices open...

But everyone has their own opinion. Stay safe, stay healthy...

 

[gmerkt]

I think banks are pretty essential. For people who don't have any money in their pocket. But the banks are closed. Not everybody has an ATM card, I don't have one. Just because most stores are closed, doesn't mean people don't need some money. So I'm thinking that keeping pawn shops open might be considered essential, they are the lender of last resort for some unfortunate people.

When the demands on any health care system outstrip it's capacity, triage is the way it's traditionally handled.

I understand this concept. Since healthcare is something that I myself pay for, and now cannot take full advantage of, maybe I should have some kind of rebate coming back for the time I couldn't be served. Like when the cable TV goes dark, I get a day's rebate for all days service was lost. Said another way, should I be paying full boat for being shuttled off to one side to die; that's not health care, that's disposal. Said a third way, payment for healthcare subscription is based on an agreement that services will be provided at a given level.

Maybe we will see a situation like the first class section on commercial airlines. If you pay extra, you can get to the head of the line. Or avoid triage. Pay more money, they won't let you croak, they will give you a bed and let someone else die.

I see both Ford and GM are going into the ventilator making business. Boy, now there is a story of making lemonade out of lemons. So people quit buying your cars, you switch over and make ventilators. Are they taking trade-ins? Can you get one in candy apple red with a Power Stroke Diesel option?