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How a Bean Becomes a Fart

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by fredball, Nov 28, 2015.

  1. fredball

    fredball Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    How a Bean Becomes a Fart

    Because I know you guys need this info

    so sit back and enjoy the video G rated

    Something most people do not know

    Subject: How a Bean Becomes a Fart

    See why the magical fruit really DOES make you toot

    http://www.menshealth.com/health/how-bean-becomes-fart

    body,html { overflow-y: hidden; overflow-x: hidden;}
     
    45alive likes this.
  2. Stomper

    Stomper Oceania Rising White Is The New Brown Silver Supporter

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    Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat the more you.....
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2015
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  3. B5Ben

    B5Ben Boise Well-Known Member

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    ...shart!
     
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  4. Mikej

    Mikej Portland Gold Supporter Gold Supporter 2015 Volunteer 2016 Volunteer

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    Hmm, Good day I think, for a nice big pot of baked beans. Great Northern's cooked slowly, bacon and salt pork, with brown sugar, ketchup and molasses...Toss in some chopped onion and garlic and bake sooo slooow for about eight hours! Yep. Gettin' right on it!

    Thanks for the idea Fred.:s0155:
     
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  5. Stomper

    Stomper Oceania Rising White Is The New Brown Silver Supporter

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    Had me some homemade chuncky chili last night (for reals)... I'm LOCKED AND LOADED!!

    :D
     
  6. etrain16

    etrain16 Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Hmmm, sounds like a good reminder to make up some ham bone soup. Navy beans, lima beans, butter beans, some seasoning and a big ham bone with meat still on it - all day in a slow cooker. Serve with some nice crusty bread and plenty of Beano ;). Good stuff on a cold winter night.
     
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  7. Dyjital

    Dyjital Albany, Ore Flavorite Member Bronze Supporter

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    If you...

    Soak dry beans and change the water they won't make you toot.

    Store bought beans:
    Drain and rinse.

    Those complex sugars is what makes the problem.

    There was this one time I made a bean soup and forgot to change the last soak water.

    Lord have mercy. You could hear the gut from a mile away while the trains were rumbling through. I won't make that mistake again.
     
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  8. 45alive

    45alive South Douglas County- Orygun Well-Known Member

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    Its FUN to FART, :s0108:about 15 seconds after I release a stink bomb my Wife will look puzzled. Then she will say ''Good God, did you just S%!T ?'' :s0150:Depending on degrees of the stink factor, I will apologize for the mediocre FARTS and laugh at the FARTS that curl your nose hairs ! :s0039:
     
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  9. PaulB47

    PaulB47 Hillsboro Well-Known Member

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    Back when I was in the military, there were a couple of drunk guys who were having a fart competition in the squad bay. This went on until one of them shat himself. "Fart proud", yes, but carefully. :eek:
     
  10. Stomper

    Stomper Oceania Rising White Is The New Brown Silver Supporter

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    Don't get me started on doing the Dutch Oven on the wife. "They" don't call beds the "fart sack" for no good reason.



    Dude, I could make my entire platoon GAG, in an outdoor formation in the wind.... upwind of me. My squad leader would be pi$$ed, saying, "GD it.... that sheit fuggin lingers!" It took 12-14 seconds for it to escape BDU's, so you had to have your timing down.

    :eek::D
     
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  11. Oregonhunter5

    Oregonhunter5 2C IDAHO Well-Known Member

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    For all you that don't click on a link. Click on this one.

     
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  12. Vaultman

    Vaultman Clackamas Co, Oregon Active Member

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    Boy did this thread get to the crapper really quick. (I guess it started in the general area).
     
  13. 45alive

    45alive South Douglas County- Orygun Well-Known Member

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    ''The Dutch Oven'' that's sadistic !:s0087:
     
  14. 45alive

    45alive South Douglas County- Orygun Well-Known Member

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    I got bored one day years ago and put FART in the YOU TUBE Search. I will say if those videos do not make you laugh, :s0140:something is wrong.:s0153: There is one guy on there that actually lights a fricken Candle with a FART FLAME Thrower out of his A$$ using a lighter to ignite the Methane gas ! :s0007:
     
  15. Stomper

    Stomper Oceania Rising White Is The New Brown Silver Supporter

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    o_O
     
  16. 45alive

    45alive South Douglas County- Orygun Well-Known Member

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    I Sheet You not Stomper .:s0083:
     
  17. tac

    tac UK, Oregon and Ontario. Well-Known Member

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    Look over on Goofy humor for a fart-related funny.

    Just give me a coupla minutes to write it up, 'kay?

    tac
     
  18. Oregonhunter5

    Oregonhunter5 2C IDAHO Well-Known Member

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    When I fart, it sounds like someone saying Hope and Change.
     
  19. eliduc

    eliduc Active Member

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    Definition of an accident, a fart with a lump in it.