Glock 23

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OK, let me start off by saying this Glock 23 is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a firearm to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this 40 cal. would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to be your companion on a drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to be at your side at yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Hi-Point or Ruger is for. If that's the kind of gun you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This gun was engineered by 3rd degree austrian ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Austria to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like safeties, attractice styling lines (a real man doesn't care about looks), or double action.

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has night sights for popn' caps at foo's trying to get at your hot chica. It's got special blood/gore resistant finishes. It even has a new gen case that can't be used to carry a sandwich to school in. You know what the case has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Glock also has a semi-automatic action so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot the gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has concealable enough for the the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes to never know you're carrying. There's a tactical rail mount to hitch and pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun.

My requested trade on this bad boy is a HK USP of some sort, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $200 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's been very few rounds down the barrel of this forty caliber hellcat from Planet. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Nearly brand new.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of PBR while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in a picture of Vanilla Ice on photo paper. Easily a $400 value, but to you, it'll come free. FREE VANILLA ICE PICTURE!

Rock on.
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