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What's your funniest gun-related experience?

Here's mine. I was about 35 at the time. A phone call at about 2am. I'd been asleep. I reach for the phone, answer, and a male voice starts telling me that he knows where I live, knows I live alone, says he's looking at my house right now, and describes the house. Then he said he was going to come after me and started describing what he was going to do to me.

At that point I broke into uncontrollable and loud laughter. When I was able to contain myself enough to respond, I said "I've got two big dogs and I shoot .44 magnums for fun." Whereupon I rolled over and went back to sleep. No further phone calls from that guy, ever.
 
Navy boot camp 1971. It was firearms qualification time finally. After qualifying on the 1911, and the '03 Springfield, it was time to Qualify on the Garand. Instructor was a 2nd Class Gunners Mate. Salty as they come.He was demonstrating how to load the Garand, Warned us about M1 Thumb several times even told several Sea Stories about the last batch of recruits who didn't pay attention to his lessons and mangled their thumbs. Then the first thing he did was demonstrate the proper loading of the Garand He locked the bolt back on the Garand he was holding, grabbed his 8 round Clip showed us how to begin and promptly suffered a bloody M1 Thumb as he ripped his thumb out of the action. Bringing tears of laughter to 75 recruits. We figured he wasn't going to tell his next batch of recruits that Sea Story.
 
It was junior year biology class, we were in groups of 3 for an experiment. As I was working on the write up at one of the project tables, my good friend(still to this day) was working on sanitizing our station. For some reason our bottle of sanitizer was running on the low side, as he is struggling to get any liquid out of the bottle that looks like the kind boxers use for water in the ring, he decides to turn the bottle upside down and squeeze. This sends a jet of sanitizer straight into my right eye as im hunched over working on paperwork. I jump up and exclaim in surprise "You got me in my shooting eye!", as i make my way to the eyewash station for my 20mins of fun. Poor teacher got a talkin to by admin, something along the lines of we should have all had eye protection and she shouldn't have left the room. In the end my eye was fine, and my friend and I have a nostalgic laugh.
 
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I pinched my ring finger in the action of a PSL. Not just slightly either, everything but the nail got in there. Got a big blood blister.

Now that part was concerning for me, cause I didn't notice it at first. The funny part was how my friend reacted. One of them was gonna hand me a knife, but instead I bit the blister open a few times and let it bleed in the trash. My buddy almost passed out! And the range officer had to look away until I was done!
 
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At a clean up we were hosting in Tillamook State Forest at the rock pit up on Salmonberry Road.

We were about to start cooking burgers for everyone The last time I used the BBQ was a prior clean up, also cooking burgers.

Apparently I had left a burger patty on the grill from the clean up prior, and it sat in there for the couple of months between that clean up and the current one at which we discovered the hardened disk of beef.

We laughed at the fact it sat in there as long as it did. Joked about using it as a target later and set it aside, we should have thrown it away!

Somehow, and I have no idea how, that patty got mixed into the currently being cooked burger patties. Or it was sitting on a plate, or something. I'm really not quite sure how the hell it got into a bun.

Anyways a poor sole at that clean up made up his burger with that patty and when he went to eat it found it to be quite the surprise.

The whole group got a good laugh out of it when he loudly vocalized his distaste!

Till this day it makes me smile thinking about some of the earlier times spent with the amazing group of people we have up here that attend the clean ups.
 
The funniest thing I remember was we all were going the range in California, my friends brother was a Biker wannabe,
and tried to carry the tough guy persona, my dad back then knew many in the brotherhood and I met them many times this guy was not one of them. So we get out the shotguns and he brought his new shiny shotgun unused I don't even know if he ever held or shot a gun but proceeded to tell us he was going first so all of us said fine. So the first laugh was when he tried to load the shells in backwards, and blamed it on the slide being stiff. So he finally worked that out and was ready to shoot some disks. So he gets ready takes aim with his shotgun and fires it as the disks flies , he dropped the shotgun smacking the table and then the ground, he was not prepared for the recoil and refused to wearing hearing protecting. He then stood there and couldn't hear us, and looked like some one had put a pan on his head and rang his bell. He didn't say a word took his rifle and left. He still to this day has a hearing problem. After that he became the target of many a pranks most I can't tell on here. I know we were aholes in our youth. First you have to impair your friends then make fun of them right?
 
Some friends and I had been hunting high country for mule deer. We didn't see squat that weekend. On our way back down, I see a big grouse standing on a log about 30 yards away. Buddy hands me his MkIII target and says I aint got a hair on my azz if I don't bet him $20 that I can hit that grouse. Grabbed his gun, didnt hardly aim, jerked the trigger, bullet through the grouse's eye. Hand the gun back to him and tell him to go clean my dinner. Didn't crack a smile. All my buddies are hooting and hollering at this point.

The whole time I'm actually thinking, "I'll be dipped in schitt and rolled in breadcrumbs!" I could probably never make that shot again.
 
I was shooting at a popular gravel pit with my Hawken Rifle..and was just about done when...
A group showed up...after saying Hi and whatnot...they set up targets and as I leaving...
I was asked : Can ya hit anything with that old gun...?"
I asked if I could use their target...
Said target was a "Bad Guy" pointing a shotgun at the viewer , type target...range was around 75 yards...
Loaded , took aim , fired....my round ball hitting the "Bad Guy's" left eye...
The stunned silence followed by the long drawn out "Well G.D." Was nice to hear....:D
Andy
 
Anytime I let someone shoot 3" magnum buckshot with this guy.

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The funniest thing I remember was we all were going the range in California, my friends brother was a Biker wannabe,
and tried to carry the tough guy persona, my dad back then knew many in the brotherhood and I met them many times this guy was not one of them. So we get out the shotguns and he brought his new shiny shotgun unused I don't even know if he ever held or shot a gun but proceeded to tell us he was going first so all of us said fine. So the first laugh was when he tried to load the shells in backwards, and blamed it on the slide being stiff. So he finally worked that out and was ready to shoot some disks. So he gets ready takes aim with his shotgun and fires it as the disks flies , he dropped the shotgun smacking the table and then the ground, he was not prepared for the recoil and refused to wearing hearing protecting. He then stood there and couldn't hear us, and looked like some one had put a pan on his head and rang his bell. He didn't say a word took his rifle and left. He still to this day has a hearing problem. After that he became the target of many a pranks most I can't tell on here. I know we were aholes in our youth. First you have to impair your friends then make fun of them right?
Sometimes laughing at someone is a public service.
 
At a clean up we were hosting in Tillamook State Forest at the rock pit up on Salmonberry Road.

We were about to start cooking burgers for everyone The last time I used the BBQ was a prior clean up, also cooking burgers.

Apparently I had left a burger patty on the grill from the clean up prior, and it sat in there for the couple of months between that clean up and the current one at which we discovered the hardened disk of beef.

We laughed at the fact it sat in there as long as it did. Joked about using it as a target later and set it aside, we should have thrown it away!

Somehow, and I have no idea how, that patty got mixed into the currently being cooked burger patties. Or it was sitting on a plate, or something. I'm really not quite sure how the hell it got into a bun.

Anyways a poor sole at that clean up made up his burger with that patty and when he went to eat it found it to be quite the surprise.

The whole group got a good laugh out of it when he loudly vocalized his distaste!

Till this day it makes me smile thinking about some of the earlier times spent with the amazing group of people we have up here that attend the clean ups.
Thank god I didn't try the hot dogs at the last one :confused:
 
I have a sort of an "M-1 thumb" story, only the M-1 in the story was a Mini-14, and the thumb in the story was my nipple...

So there I was, a young buck of 18, sitting cross legged on the floor with my back propped up against the couch, watching Black Hawk Down and cleaning my new Mini-14, recently purchased with my high school graduation money. Anyways, I had the buttstock of the rifle resting on the ground betwixt my legs, and the open action resting against my chest as I non-chalantly ran a rod down the barrel to clean the day's fouling away (believe I had been shooting that day). Not knowing much about the rifle at the time, I poked the rod out the chamber where it butted against the bolt with enough vim to unlock the goddamn thing and send it sailing home, slamming my nipple into the area between the bolt face and the chamber. A sudden flash of white-hot pain, and I managed to Nimbly open the action and free my now tender nubbin.

As if that weren't enough, ten minutes later my dumba$$ did the EXACT same thing, and again, the action of that damned rifle clamped down on the EXACT same nipple. And holy $hit... you think it hurt the first time?
 
During the mid 80's and early 90's I lived and worked in Wyoming at my employer's business operations out there.

At the time, shooting prairie dogs was legal and encouraged, along with rabbit, coyote, badger all through out the year and game animals of all types during approved hunting seasons. But pity poor you if you killed a black footed ferret!

I introduced my wife to the care, feeding and use of firearms. One of our simple pleasures was to head out of town and cruise for them pesky whistle pigs.

While she had learned to safely operate a firearm, and while she was a darned good shot with very little practice or training - what is up with that anyway, effective and controlled fire techniques were not her forte. Rather, she had a bad habit of throwing up a wall of lead in hopes the dogs would run into it, rather than the other way around, especially when she got excited.

I had no idea just how bloodthirsty and excited she could become when there were actual live targets in her sights until one day we were out in the pickup cruising slowly through the sagebrush. She was standing up in the bed of the pickup, draped over the roof, throwing up that wall of lead. Most of the dogs were managing to avoid the onslaught by ducking back in their burrows and I could tell she was getting frustrated. I tried to tell her to be a bit more controlled with her fire but that didn't seem to take. Her blood was boiling and God help the next critter that came into sight.

After several more long periods of sustained and rapid fire wall building it suddenly became quiet and still. Then all of a sudden it sounded as if someone was dropping boulders onto the pickup roof... boom boom Boom! Then I hear her screeching, yes screeching, "I've run out of ammo! I need more AMMMO!!!"

I muttered, "Well, no kiddin', lady. You've practically plowed the soil to the point we could plant a crop."

She heard me...

It was a long ride home...

And then there was the time she shot the passenger side mirror right off that truck. But that's a story for another time.
 
I don't know if I have a funny story myself other then my grandfather would bet others at ranges that his 6 year old grandson (me) could shoot a tack off the target backer board with a Ruger standard (Mk1) pencil barrel on the first try and then have me do it. I remember the conversations fondly.



My dad however, when he was in his young 20's in TX was at a buddy's house when he was handed his friends shotgun to look at. Now here is the funny part... my dad blames his friend for handing him a loaded gun and that friend blames my dad for not checking to see if it was loaded.

End of story is that the first thing my dad did was pull the bloody trigger. Thank God he had it pointed up and blew a hole clean thru the roof.


No neither followed any type of gun safety but both were at fault and my dad still complains that he was handed a loaded shotgun, cuz that makes it not his fault.





I have been blessed to start shooting at the age of 4 and my grandfather who I admired above all, drilled gun safety into me on and off the range.

I have 37 years of no negligent discharges and plan to keep it that way.

I do enjoy the stories posted here so far though.
 
It was the first day of school of my first full time teaching job. I had been hired to teach 7th & 8th graders in a postage stamp town in Eastern Oregon. I wore my best work dress, heels (so I would look taller than the kids), had my jewelry, and I even put make-up on. After I introduced myself I asked if there were any questions. One of the 8th graders leaned back in his chair, put his boot on the desk, looked me up and down, and said "Do ya eat meat?" I replied yes. He thought for a moment, "Do ya own a gun?" I smiled and said "Yes, I do." He nodded his head and said, "You'll do just fine here then." I replied, "Thank you, now please get your foot off the desk and sit in your chair right."
 
I guess mine would have to be the first gun I ever bought. At the time, I was 19 or 20 and cooking in a super hip restaurant/bar/nightclub/hotel in the central Eastside of Portland, and I'd shown up a couple hours early on my bicycle. Because my shift didn't start until 2:00pm, I rode up to Silver Lining Pawn to browse the generally good crap that's always for sale there for cheap. Eventually, I decide that I need to buy a shotgun because it's only $100 and I had that much cash burning a hole in my pocket. Being young and never having bought a firearm before, I assumed there was some kind of waiting period of a couple days, at which point I could come by with a car and pick it up. Little did I expect that the clerk simply took my ID, gave me a 1-minute form to fill out, then made a 3-minute phone call and handed me the shotgun. I had to strap it on to the outside of my backpack and ride down NE Sandy Blvd to the lower Burnside stretch to my job at the super hip establishment. Luckily we had full sized lockers for the employees, and I suppose a pretty reasonable boss for the type of place it is. After my shift, I had to strap the shotgun back on to my pack and ride all the way home through central PDX.
 
That nipple story might be a winner.

Mine comes when i got called into work one night about midnight.
It was for a store we closed down, and there was an attached bar that was also closed down.
We got a call for a water leak in the bar side. So I go in and it's pitch black, no power in this place for lights. So I'm clearing with a flashlight and pistol, With just this eery water dripping noise.
I round this corner and someone is standing there 3ft away with a pistol pointed at me, I almost shet my oants and my heart pounds so hard I thought my sternum would crack.

It was the old managers office with a mirrored window.
I was looking at myself.
 
That nipple story might be a winner.

Mine comes when i got called into work one night about midnight.
It was for a store we closed down, and there was an attached bar that was also closed down.
We got a call for a water leak in the bar side. So I go in and it's pitch black, no power in this place for lights. So I'm clearing with a flashlight and pistol, With just this eery water dripping noise.
I round this corner and someone is standing there 3ft away with a pistol pointed at me, I almost shet my oants and my heart pounds so hard I thought my sternum would crack.

It was the old managers office with a mirrored window.
I was looking at myself.
Good on you for not opening up and taking out that mirror!
 
That nipple story might be a winner.

Mine comes when i got called into work one night about midnight.
It was for a store we closed down, and there was an attached bar that was also closed down.
We got a call for a water leak in the bar side. So I go in and it's pitch black, no power in this place for lights. So I'm clearing with a flashlight and pistol, With just this eery water dripping noise.
I round this corner and someone is standing there 3ft away with a pistol pointed at me, I almost shet my oants and my heart pounds so hard I thought my sternum would crack.

It was the old managers office with a mirrored window.
I was looking at myself.

That there is funny:D.

The Texas Tit twister was just plain painful:rolleyes:
 

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