Favorite Quote....

[scdmd]

"A good golfer practices, a bad golfer buys new clubs"

"It's the Indian, not the arrow"

 

[Ballistic]

For great quotes, read H. L. Mencken. He hated politics, religion, women, and people. This is just a small sample.

Puritanism - The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained by Christ.

Church - A place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to people who will never get there.

Conscience - The inner voice which warns us that someone is looking.

Creator - A comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.

Husband - A No. 16 neck in a No. 15½ collar.

Immorality - The morality of those who are having a better time.

Sunday School - A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Flag Pledge - An oath to defend the national ensign against foreign and domestic foes. In most States it is exacted of school children.

The trouble with Communism is the Communists, just as the trouble with Christianity is the Christians.

Those who can -- do. Those who can't -- teach.

Freedom of press is limited to those who own one.

Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution.

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing.

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.

Liberals have many tails and chase them all.

A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married.

Judge: A law student who marks his own papers.

Misogynist - A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.

A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.

 

[Burt Gummer]

"The real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Forget the politicians, they're an irrelevancy. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own and control the corporations. They've long since bought and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the statehouses, the city halls. They've got the judges in their back pockets. And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. They've got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying * lobbying to get what they want. Well, we know what they want; they want more for themselves and less for everybody else."

"But I'll tell you what they don't want. They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. They're not interested in that. That doesn't help them. That's against their interests. They don't want people who are smart enough to sit around the kitchen table and figure out how badly they're getting bubblegumed by a system that threw them overboard 30 bubbleguming years ago.

"You know what they want? Obedient workers. * People who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork but just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly bubblegumtier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, reduced benefits, the end of overtime and the vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it. And, now, they're coming for your Social Security. They want your bubbleguming retirement money. They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. And you know something? They'll get it. They'll get it all, sooner or later, because they own this bubbleguming place. It's a big club, and you ain't in it. You and I are not in the big club."

- George Carlin

 

[soberups]

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't"--unknown

"Those who beat their swords into plowshares will plow for those who dont"---unknown.

"Those who have the weapons make the rules"---unknown.

"One death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic"---Josef Stalin

 

[Greenbug]

"I love High School girls... I get older, they stay the same age." From the movie "Dazed and Confused".

"The only people I hate are people intolerant of other people's cultures, and the Dutch." From the movie "Austin Powers Goldmember"

"If I were to get a tattoo, it would be a tattoo of a butt on my butt" Beavis.

"Do not anger my bunghole!" Beavis as the great Cornholio.

"If it flies, floats or fornicates.... rent it!" I don't know who said it, but they must have been very wise.

"This is as akward as two dogs humping in a canoe." Unknown.

 

[Jammer Six]

(That one's mine)

"I may not like what you have to say, but I'm willing to die for your right to say it."

--Voltaire. BrainyQuote.com, Xplore Inc, 2012. I do not agree with what... at BrainyQuote, accessed January 23, 2012.

 

[Jasonsan]

Here are a couple of my favorite:

"Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." ~John F. Kennedy

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal." ~ Camus

"Knowledge without mileage equals bullbubblegum!" ~ Henry Rollins

"Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans!"

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your bubbleguming khakis." ~ Tyler Durden - Fight Club




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[nwo]

"Bazinga!" Sheldon Cooper.

 

[sheepdip]

get in, sit down, shut up, and hold on.

rode hard and put away wet.---- some people will think this pertains to horses lol

if it is worth doing, it is worth doing well.

 

[sheepdip]

a couple of my wifes younger cousins were bickering at each other one time when one said to the other and i quote.

if somebody took your brain out and put it on the edge of a razor blade it would look like a pea on a four lane highway.

LMAO at the time, that was thirty-some years ago

 

[Keys1971]

The secret of happiness is freedom. The secret of freedom is courage. Thucydides 460-404 BC

And my favorite. In battle, for every 100 men 10 should not even be there. 80 are nothing but targets. 9 are real fighters we are lucky to have them, for they the battle make. Ah but the 1, he is a warrior and will bring the others home.

 

[elsie]

a couple of my wifes younger cousins were bickering at each other one time when one said to the other and i quote.

if somebody took your brain out and put it on the edge of a razor blade it would look like a pea on a four lane highway.

LMAO at the time, that was thirty-some years ago

Also used by John Nitzinger in the "Texas Jellyroll Blues" and I liked it too.


elsie

 

[elsie]

The strictest law often causes the most serious wrong.
Cicero
Roman author, orator, & politician (106 BC - 43 BC)


elsie

 

[glockman99]

"Take your time, in a hurry"...Wyatt Earp, on "gunfighting".

 

[sheepdip]

Elsie, is that where that came from? I didnt think that kid was sharp enough to come up with that on his own. still funny though.

 

[theguncrank]

corruptissima republica plurimae leges
-Tacitus

 

[sheepdip]

for those of us that dont do latin please translate.

 

[Natty Bumpo]

A couple of mine:

"A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins." Heywood Broun

"Everyone has a plan until they are punched in the mouth." Mike Spinks

 

[Natty Bumpo]

for those of us that dont do latin please translate.

It means:

The (more) corrupted the republic, the more laws it has.

 

[sheepdip]

that mike spinks quote is a classic. ound:

mike spinks vs mike tyson. i think that is where he came up with that one