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I went to see the new Rambo movie and this chick who has got to be 350 pounds, has this 15 pound rat dog with a red "service animal" vest on it. She's carrying her 5 gallon bucket of popcorn, a giant soda, and a couple hotdogs. Most service dogs are trained, this one is weaving back and forth and all around. She freakin steps on the poor little bastid. Stumbles into my friend and I. What a cluster.
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I'd stay clear of American Airlines if I were you...they let this idiot board their plane.

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I'm luckier than most, I guess. MY emotional support animal is my tape-worm - we go EVERYWHERE together and nobody notices. Her name is Dierdre, and she is VERY attached to me, and I think it's fair to say that she knows me inside out.
 
I'd stay clear of American Airlines if I were you...they let this idiot board their plane.


Sadly the airline has no choice in this garbage. Feds long ago passed a law about "people with disabilities". Then courts have taken it to insane limits. One religion raised hell since they felt dogs are not acceptable. So the mini horse was added to the acceptable animals. So this is where we are now. This woman should have been required to buy and entire row of seats but, because of the courts and laws here she gets to do this.
 
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Of course, when one's emotional support animal [on the outside, that is] is that well-known star of stage and screen Vel Ociraptor, things can get kinda tricky.
However, time marches on, and even the old stars of the original Jurassic Park movie have to admit that the good times are long gone - read -

Middle-aged velociraptors remembering the Jurassic Park good times
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The recent release of the movie 'Jurassic world' saw a lot of middle-aged and bespectacled velociraptors around here reminiscing about starring in the original movie...

A recent local newspaper article by Orville Gleep, the original one-liner kid, noted that the dinosaurs, stars of the breakout hit of 1993's Jurassic Park, have all left their movie careers behind to live peaceful suburban lives. Velociraptor Tom Logan, now an orthodontist, said: "I don't get recognised much any more. Hardly surprising – people remember the sleek young predator from the movie and here's me with a paunch, no scales left on the top of my head, sucking on a vape pen and doing the school run. I've even got an ingrown toe-nail that been slowly driving me nuts for years.

My podiatrist, another velociraptor - Eugene [remember him? He's the one who fell over on all the gumballs in Godzilla - what a card!!!], tells me it's not just my bad posture, but lack of exercise - I cleared our neighbourhood of most domestic pets over the years, even a couple of retired greyhounds....and I'm really not up to chasing deer on the odd occasion that me and my wife, Myrtle, go hiking.

"These dinosaurs they've got in this new one – metriacanthosaurus, baryonyx, mosasaurus – I've never heard of them. It'd have been nice if they'd called me up for a cameo, but we had our time. So I keep a low profile these days, though my kids' school did find out and got me to hunt down and disembowel a math teacher to open up their summer fete."

Logan is still in touch with some of his fellow velociraptor stars, one of whom owns a parcel delivery business in Woebegone, North Dakota, and the other who is a brew-pub pub landlord in Ptarmigan, near South Bend, Indiana. He added: "Roy, the T-Rex? So sad. He thought he was invincible. He called me a few years ago, from rehab. He was going to call me again when he got out. That's the last time anyone heard from him."

Terry Dactyl, another star back in the day, now helps run a wind-surfing centre in Southern Oregon, and, Gleep notes, was loathe to draw too much attention to himself these days, having had a run-in with the Immigration Services after failing to provide valid ID when approaching the state for permission to open up his new business. "It was all settled pretty quickly" - he recalled, " especially when I reminded them that THEY were the immigrants in reality - hell, my family have been around here for the last 100 million years, give or take..."
 
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I went to see the new Rambo movie and this chick who has got to be 350 pounds, has this 15 pound rat dog with a red "service animal" vest on it. She's carrying her 5 gallon bucket of popcorn, a giant soda, and a couple hotdogs. Most service dogs are trained, this one is weaving back and forth and all around. She freakin steps on the poor little bastid. Stumbles into my friend and I. What a cluster.

Was it a service dog or did it say snack dog?
Maybe it was in case she got hungry for a snack later?
 
I'm luckier than most, I guess. MY emotional support animal is my tape-worm - we go EVERYWHERE together and nobody notices. Her name is Dierdre, and she is VERY attached to me, and I think it's fair to say that she knows me inside out.
If they had a decent health care system in the UK you could get that fixed.
 
The emotional support animal thing really irritates me, "Oh I just got this printed off and now I can take my cat everywhere! Don't need it, but they can't say anything about it"
"Cool, I'm deathly allergic, but please continue patting yourself on the back for gaming the system to do whatever you want with your filthy creature"

As for the theater, yeah...people suck there. When I saw the first Avengers, a film that was guaranteed to be at least 30% explosion, someone brought a newborn.

The Aqua Teen Hunger Force intro says it better than I can:
"Be considerate to others, or I will bite your torso and give you a disease"

 
If they had a decent health care system in the UK you could get that fixed.

First you say you like my post, then you kick me in the nuts. Do YOU have the problem or is it me?

I COULD, if required, be totally straight down-the-line and humo(u)rless, the way many of you guys imagine Brits to be, but as I'm only a 1/8th Brit I don't bother with that stuff. Sure, I CAN write staid and serious, bland and boring, but why should I? I'm going to die soon, and I'd like people to say 'that guy tac, Jeez, he was somethin' else, y'know?'.............' And not 'I never got much out of him, y'know, he was always just that bit too serious for my liking....'

It made being under my command, well, let's say, interesting, to say the least. And that included members of the US Armed forces, too.
 
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