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Drafting guys over 60... (humorous)

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by ZeroRing, Apr 12, 2010.

  1. ZeroRing

    ZeroRing 26th District, WA Active Member

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    This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier-

    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing bass-ackwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

    For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on killing the enemy.

    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some adam henry that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

    An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical sierra-oscar-bravo.

    If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

    Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

    They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

    Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet yet.

    An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

    These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

    Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million teed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.
     
  2. Decker

    Decker My house Active Member

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    Well done ole' bean.

    -d
     
  3. gunnin88

    gunnin88 Belfair, Wa Member

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    I like that!!
     
  4. 3 AE

    3 AE Oregon Member

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    THAT was outstanding ZeroRing! Clint Eastwood's character in "Grand Torino" is the poster boy(old man) for that post! :gun14:
     
  5. Chee-to

    Chee-to Oregon Well-Known Member

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    :funnypoint:Ha, Ha, he said "Adam Henry":funnypoint:
     
  6. parallax

    parallax eugene, or-gun Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:
     
  7. dobeman

    dobeman Hillsboro Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    think of all the social security savings - government gets off cheap... funerals for the fallen geezer heros versus having to float them in retirement for years.
     
  8. bugeye

    bugeye Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Heck no we won't go, without our Chiropractors!

    "leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to" not think about having sex with the enemy!
     
  9. ZeroRing

    ZeroRing 26th District, WA Active Member

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    Hey, I had to clean the "original" up a bit to avoid one of the mods slapping me with a language violation. :D
     
  10. Natty Bumpo

    Natty Bumpo Clackamas County Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    The Germans drafted men up to age 45 in WW2. In the latter days of the Civil War, the Confederates drafted up to age 60.

    Let's hope we don't get that close to losing a war.
     
  11. SSG

    SSG Lane County New Member

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    You know, not everyone has to jump out of helicopters and hike 30 miles...can't see why they can't take some of the old timers at my range, put them up on some buildings and pick off guys with RPGs....
     
  12. PinkhamR

    PinkhamR Altus, Oklahoma MSgt, USAF (Retired)-FFL Lifetime Supporter

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    I can relate to that! :D