Does your wife have any idea?

[solv3nt]

My wife and I aren't actually married, we've just been together quite a while. We haven't tied the knot due to her massive student loan debt, and have discovered that it's best for the time being to keep quite a few things separated in case she were unable to pay those debts any longer.
That said, she knows what's in the safe. She doesn't really care. She has a key in case she wants to get in there. If I start borrowing money from her to buy guns, she can be concerned.

Is common law marriage still a thing?

 

[oremike]

She knows what's in the safe, hers and mine both. As far as bank accounts we have hers, mine and ours. She has a wage/hour job and gets lots of overtime. She pays the bills and puts her OT in her savings account. Mine is the business account but as a sole prop is by default me. Ours is for automatic payments both to and from us. This is where things like Tax refunds, stimulus checks and the like go. I figure if they can put it in, they can take it out and I don't want "them" messing with our other accounts.

 

[CRBMoA]

Is common law marriage still a thing?

Not in Oregon.

 

[OldTengu]

Is common law marriage still a thing?

Not in Oregon.

 

[Ruger Rich]

My late husband and I knew what each one of us had in ANY ITEM that we owned.

We did not keep secrets from one another.

We were careful with our money too.

We lived within our budget.

I paid off the construction loan off for the house that we built early too. Tons of sweat equity there too.

We were self made, we worked hard and smart.

I owned more firearms than he did too. Late 90's and on. Paid for - saved up for.

I owned more ammo than he did too. NOT tons of it but more than he owned.

My MT husband and I know what we have in ANY ITEM now too. Since we were married. I knew some of this before we married too. He knew what I had before we were married too.

I keep spreadsheets for HIM and for myself too. I ask HIM if he needs any item gun or ammo or reloading wise too. We have made gifts to one another and to other people over the years too.

If we decide to sell any item or gift any item... WE discuss it together first.

I support him and he supports me.

IT has nothing to do with TRUST or a LACK OF TRUST in my opinion.

Ask any MAN (Or woman.) who got screwed royally in the past or who was robbed - single or not! I know more MEN who got screwed more than women too.

Being informed of ALL financial matters (Husband and wife.) and GOODS aka YOUR STUFF in your home is a good idea - wise decision.

Some wives and/or husbands, NOT all of them, who do not care or know jack squat about GUNS, the value of guns and EXTRA GUN STUFF even if it is ALL written down and updated on a PAPER or in a computer program file are really SCREWED in my opinion. But if that is the couple's joint decision and CHOICE in life - more power to them!

There may be a friend, a relative and/or a good FFL man around after a DEATH but THE GUN OWNER should really SIT DOWN and talk/explain/show his spouse what is what even if she does NOT care about HIS guns (Or her guns.) and OTHER gun stuff. Take time to do this. (I personally do not understand a person who would not want to take the TIME to do this with their spouse but that is how I think. Your mileage may vary - NO problem.)

Vice versa when it comes to the WIFE'S STUFF (Or husband's other stuff.) where the spouse has no interest in such things. DO it anyway. Make a list. Explain what is what and the value or lack of value in some household and personal goods.

Update your spreadsheets. On paper and/or on the computer. Serial numbers, etc.

KNOWING what your budget is even if you have a little, a moderate amount or a lot of MONEY makes sense to me. Using a budget and planning ahead for ANY GOAL IN LIFE is something that people should DISCUSS and DO BEFORE they get married too. Not just during a marriage.

(I know some men who trusted their wives when it came to their joint accounts and they got a very rude awakening! The wives used their husbands like ATM machines and many of them barely worked outside of the home IF at all. I realize that IS a personal decision for the couple depending on HOW they choose to live their lives too. They 'trusted' their wives and found out later on what was really going on! And they knew their wives for some time BEFORE they got married too. So it was not some QUICKIE MARRIAGE deal.)

Discuss ALL of it especially if you are that SERIOUS, respect one another, want to make life easier for one another and in like/love with each other - you may or may not find out some other things that may WAKE YOU UP where you find out that your future spouse may be a real ANTI GUNNER, a crazy, addicted shop-o-ho-lic, in debt and not just with a house construction loan OR in some OTHER political, religious, moral, etc. persuasion that you just could NOT stand to live with for the rest of your life!

When I remarried from being a widow - my MT husband and I wanted a prenuptial agreement. So we did that, made up new wills and updated our other personal things like medical POA and other things.

I was only married to my late husband for over 30 years. We were only married to one another. No children.

My MT husband had been married one time before we got married.

We have different accounts, some are joint and some were/are POD ones too.

I pay for x, he pays for y and WE pay for Z.

Some people HATE the idea of prenuptial agreements too. So if they hate them - don't make one up! LOL I never had one with my late husband and neither one of us had a pot to tinkle in starting out in life.

But after I saw MANY people, mainly men, get royally screwed by the court system no matter how good, honest, faithful and hard working they were/are... I knew that I would NOT want that crapola to ever happen to ME or to any future man/husband of mine. My MT husband agreed with me too.

There were only a FEW things that my late husband had to show me AGAIN and with a list in one cabinet before he died of cancer. I did KNOW about all of the other things that we owned at the time as I did in the past too.

He had to show me some special tools in one cabinet. They were NOT all of our regular tools for building the house, car/truck or boat tools, etc. They were VERY SPECIFIC and $$$ expensive tools - German, English, Japanese (One?) and some American. They were in metric calculations other than the American ones. There were not TONS OF THEM but enough of them. So he showed me this ALL OVER AGAIN and I put NOTES BY EACH ITEM/TOOL and he told me the value of them and what they were for. Plus another famous gun man, LJ, who knew us told me that if I needed help for those special tools to ask him. Anyway, I was glad and I am still glad that those were the ONLY THINGS that I did not know about PRICE WISE and that my late husband TOOK THE TIME TO SHOW ME all over again before he died.

Yes, I could have asked other people and LOOKED THEM UP but HE TOOK THE TIME to dot the i's for me and cross the t's while he could still GO OUT INTO THE GARAGE with me. I sold almost all of those tools. I gifted a couple of those tools.

Plus the men/women who KNEW how carefully we took care of our things in our home and in life - came over and bought other things from me after he died.

I gifted a lot of other things. I donated a lot of other things. I sold a bunch of things.

The tools that we bought together and other goods - I had books on them (NIB bought.) and files. So the BUYERS and people who received GIFTS from me got information on all of those things plus yard equipment, snow blowers, push mowers, tons of other tools, small tractors, generators, etc.

ALL of that stuff - I knew about and was the record keeper of it all. File cabinet - clean and neat instructions.

In fact, I had my favorite yard tools and tractors/mowers, etc. too. I PICKED THEM OUT to suit me. Especially since I ended up doing most of the outside work for almost all of our marriage. I LOVED TO MOW the lawn and do the tree, bushes and flower work. I loved to wash the sail and power boats too. Trucks and cars? So so. LOL

Old Lady Cate

Common sense and logic go a long, long ways. Your posts are stories, real stories, and enjoyable.

 

[MichaelH]

I don't drink wine. Over the relatively short time I've been buying/selling firearms and ammo as a hobby the cost is probably significantly dwarfed by the cost of cases of wine purchased during that same time.

Also ya'll are sexist "Husband" should be in this title too!

 

[MichaelH]

Not in Oregon.

Sort of. We have "common law domestic partnership" so if you're living in sin for a long time that won't necessarily stop your partner from getting half your stuff (and you half of theirs...).

 

[Alexx1401]

We have been together over a quarter century now so things have "evolved" . Early in she used to kick about money spent on guns now and then. Couple times I would show her some of her hobbies that she lost interest in, how much we paid for the stuff and what it was worth now. Then would show her guns, what was paid, what they would sell for now. Difference was none of the guns lost real value. The first time she got REALLY scared that some kook was going to break in while I was at work, well no longer was their kicking about guns in the home.
Now days since we cant sell easily we have more guns that at any one time. She does not keep up on what most are worth if I shuffle off first but, she knows enough to not just walk into some shop and say how much can you give me for these.
She does not pay much attention to the panics any more as she knows I keep us in supply of what we shoot. So she knows when she wants to shoot she can. I have told her if I shuffle off the supplies, like ammo and loading can still be sold. So if she wants to hold it till another panic is going on that would be the time to sell the stuff she does not want.
Now days we both make a decent living. If she wants to buy something she just buys it. I do the same. Only time she gets mad is around Christmas. Wants me to hold off on something so she can buy it and wrap it. Even though I know what it is. So I indulge her there figuring why not. Some new toy will sit for weeks till the magic day when I can finally open it. She does the same. Picks out what she wants, I buy it, she wraps it to open that morning. Strange to me but what the hell, why not.

 

[Member 52301]

Common sense and logic go a long, long ways. Your posts are stories, real stories, and enjoyable.

Thank you.

Blessings to you and your wife.

Cate

 

[powermad]

Meh, she knows I have a bit of ammo and stopped asking "Just how much do you need" a long time ago.
Same with guns.

 

[skeezix]

The short answer is my wife has no clue what my stuff is and/or isn't worth. She has no interest.

My wife does very well, so she doesn't hassle me about money.

Nobody believes this, but separate checking accounts is key to a happy marriage.

Separate checking accounts; YES. 44+ years, of marital bliss, and counting

 

[CRBMoA]

I am the outlier again.

One checking account - One Savings account - We both have access.

Mrs. CRBMoA and I will make 30 years if I live until August!

 

[Ruger Rich]

I am the outlier again.

One checking account - One Savings account - We both have access.

Mrs. CRBMoA and I will make 30 years if I live until August!

You're not an outlier

 

[Ura-Ki]

My Wife knows exactly what I own, and for the most part, exactly what it's worth! She has a pretty good stash her self, and is an active participant in shooting and other fun stuff! She also knows what to do with everything if I go first, and how NOT to get screwed in doing it, though she will likely keep a bunch for her own enjoyment! We don't really even have a His and Hers Stash, most stuff is shared equally, though there is a bunch of guys stuff she doesn't want much of anything to do with, and likewise, a bunch of hers stuff I don't want anything to do with! LOL been married since 2007 and going strong!

 

[oremike]

An addendum to the way we do our finances, The way we started was one account for both of us and that worked well until I started working on the coast full time while she was still working here in the valley. It seemed like a good idea for us each to have ready access to money just in case. She took care of the valley bills and I took care of the coast bills. When I retired and then started collecting social security that money when into my account and that account became our account. Those payments pay the mortgage with a little "mad" money left over. When I started the business I wanted to keep it's monies separate from the house money to make the book keeping nice and clean.

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

I have no idea how much money my wife has tied up in yarn, fabric and other craft stuff.

 

[bolus]

The key is to get 41 firearms in a 8 firearm safe.

 

[Jason999]

I'm not married but we've been together for a decade, after this long its the same thing.

I promised I wont put us into debt with any of my purchases. Though I do tend to buy something every month. I've just never seen a reason to announce what I've picked up or what it costs. I earned it, I don't see a reason to say how I spend it.

 

[Pete F]

I have a file that contains all of the receipts for guns and ammo. For the stuff that I don't have the receipt are listed in a spreadsheet - hard copy and digital. The wife knows where it is, but I don't think that she has looked.

If the SHTF and they come for our guns and ammo, the file folder will go up in flames.

 

[GripItAndRipIt]

How many wives or(sig others) have any clue how much money you have tied up in all the ammo and components stacked up in the basement/garage?
And a friend once shared his fear that if he passed, his wife would sell his guns/ammo for what he told her he paid for them.

Reminds of my favorite guitar player meme:

Q. How many guitars does a guitarist need?

A: Just. One.












More.

Just one more.