Does your wife have any idea?

[AshWilliams]

My wife and I share all financial information amongst all accounts. IMHO when you hide information bad things can happen.

My sister suddenly received news from my brother-in-law that they were losing their home. Basically, my brother-in-law hid years of reckless, irresponsible spending habits from her as she had no idea what the other was doing financially. My brother-in-law was maxing out credit card after credit card and began failing to pay their mortgage after buying things he could not afford because somehow he felt he was entitled to them. So after losing their home and declaring bankruptcy they finally begin to get back on their feet and what does he do? He buys an expensive boat.

Anyway, YMMV and what works for me may not be right for you, but we have separate savings accounts and budget out scheduled payments to those accounts. If one of us wants something frivolous or impulse buys something, it's paid for out of those accounts and not out of the shared accounts. This works extremely well for us and there has never been any bickering over finances after almost 20 years of marriage.

 

[Darren Summers]

Have you seen my wife's quilting room.....!!!
Fancy sewing machines cost as much as a car....we have an understanding she has her vice and I have mine.
PS she does enjoy shooting and hunting with me, don't get better then that

 

[Ruger Rich]

You guys have significant others?

Nope, just a wife

 

[American123]

Once you get to a certain volume, it's impossible for the spouse to tell what's new from what's old. Generally, if all the bills are covered and goals/finances are achieved there isn't anything to complain about. It also helps if you marry someone who is on board with the importance of the 2a and associated freedoms mentality.

Budgets also help with this. After all needs are met and obligations are handled and the future savings is added to, both people get "fun money." Fun money can be spent on whatever they want no questions asked.

 

[Stomper]

I guess marriage is significant. Right?

Ask any divorce lawyer, and they'll confirm it!!

 

[nammac]

Well y'all watch for my passing, there's going to be a firearms, ammo and reloading components fire sale if she sells them for what I said I paid for them...

 

[Lilhigbee]

My friend's wife said that when he died the funeral would be at 1:00 and the garage sale would start at 2:00.

 

[gryghin]

Joint account for bills and food, seperate accounts for fun, personal stuff.

This... this right here.

my wife and I have been together 33 years and married for 29 of them. During the beginning, we combined everything to budget easier. As time went on, the kids came along, it made sense to open accounts for each of them so that we could get their savings started and use that money for their gifts. Of course, since we opened accounts for the kids, we opened some for ourselves.

That whole compounded interest is even better when that money is in a brokerage account. The cost of my hobbies, doesn't affect our monthly budget, so my wife no longer cares to pass judgment... except for whether or not she likes using whatever new item I have.

Her hobbies are paid from her own account, so I could care less.

As an engineer, I like to keep track of everything. My wife knows I have a spreadsheet with all the information on it.

 

[Jonnyuma]

The short answer is my wife has no clue what my stuff is and/or isn't worth. She has no interest.

^^^This^^^

Nobody believes this, but separate checking accounts is key to a happy marriage.

... and also ^^^THIS^^^

I suppose it could sound weird, but neither of us has secretive spending habits so money-talk only shows up when we're contemplating something big.

Yesterday she bought me a new Green Mountain smoker/grill for a Father's Day/birthday present ... we talked about it for most of the morning and made the decision together. She transferred the dough to me, and (of course) l went to go get it.

My guns n stuff aren't a secret... we just don't discuss how much every little thing costs. As long as we make the bills every month, there's no need to.

When my ex wife was handling the bills through our joint account, we talked and (mostly) argued about money ALL THE TIME. Tedious and petty.

I really only threw the part about my new smoker in because I'm very excited about it. It doesn't really have much bearing on the subject.

 

[Member 52301]

My late husband and I knew what each one of us had in ANY ITEM that we owned.

We did not keep secrets from one another.

We were careful with our money too.

We lived within our budget.

I paid off the construction loan off for the house that we built early too. Tons of sweat equity there too.

We were self made, we worked hard and smart.

I owned more firearms than he did too. Late 90's and on. Paid for - saved up for.

I owned more ammo than he did too. NOT tons of it but more than he owned.

My MT husband and I know what we have in ANY ITEM now too. Since we were married. I knew some of this before we married too. He knew what I had before we were married too.

I keep spreadsheets for HIM and for myself too. I ask HIM if he needs any item gun or ammo or reloading wise too. We have made gifts to one another and to other people over the years too.

If we decide to sell any item or gift any item... WE discuss it together first.

I support him and he supports me.

IT has nothing to do with TRUST or a LACK OF TRUST in my opinion.

Ask any MAN (Or woman.) who got screwed royally in the past or who was robbed - single or not! I know more MEN who got screwed more than women too.

Being informed of ALL financial matters (Husband and wife.) and GOODS aka YOUR STUFF in your home is a good idea - wise decision.

Some wives and/or husbands, NOT all of them, who do not care or know jack squat about GUNS, the value of guns and EXTRA GUN STUFF even if it is ALL written down and updated on a PAPER or in a computer program file are really SCREWED in my opinion. But if that is the couple's joint decision and CHOICE in life - more power to them!

There may be a friend, a relative and/or a good FFL man around after a DEATH but THE GUN OWNER should really SIT DOWN and talk/explain/show his spouse what is what even if she does NOT care about HIS guns (Or her guns.) and OTHER gun stuff. Take time to do this. (I personally do not understand a person who would not want to take the TIME to do this with their spouse but that is how I think. Your mileage may vary - NO problem.)

Vice versa when it comes to the WIFE'S STUFF (Or husband's other stuff.) where the spouse has no interest in such things. DO it anyway. Make a list. Explain what is what and the value or lack of value in some household and personal goods.

Update your spreadsheets. On paper and/or on the computer. Serial numbers, etc.

KNOWING what your budget is even if you have a little, a moderate amount or a lot of MONEY makes sense to me. Using a budget and planning ahead for ANY GOAL IN LIFE is something that people should DISCUSS and DO BEFORE they get married too. Not just during a marriage.

(I know some men who trusted their wives when it came to their joint accounts and they got a very rude awakening! The wives used their husbands like ATM machines and many of them barely worked outside of the home IF at all. I realize that IS a personal decision for the couple depending on HOW they choose to live their lives too. They 'trusted' their wives and found out later on what was really going on! And they knew their wives for some time BEFORE they got married too. So it was not some QUICKIE MARRIAGE deal.)

Discuss ALL of it especially if you are that SERIOUS, respect one another, want to make life easier for one another and in like/love with each other - you may or may not find out some other things that may WAKE YOU UP where you find out that your future spouse may be a real ANTI GUNNER, a crazy, addicted shop-o-ho-lic, in debt and not just with a house construction loan OR in some OTHER political, religious, moral, etc. persuasion that you just could NOT stand to live with for the rest of your life!

When I remarried from being a widow - my MT husband and I wanted a prenuptial agreement. So we did that, made up new wills and updated our other personal things like medical POA and other things.

I was only married to my late husband for over 30 years. We were only married to one another. No children.

My MT husband had been married one time before we got married.

We have different accounts, some are joint and some were/are POD ones too.

I pay for x, he pays for y and WE pay for Z.

Some people HATE the idea of prenuptial agreements too. So if they hate them - don't make one up! LOL I never had one with my late husband and neither one of us had a pot to tinkle in starting out in life.

But after I saw MANY people, mainly men, get royally screwed by the court system no matter how good, honest, faithful and hard working they were/are... I knew that I would NOT want that crapola to ever happen to ME or to any future man/husband of mine. My MT husband agreed with me too.

There were only a FEW things that my late husband had to show me AGAIN and with a list in one cabinet before he died of cancer. I did KNOW about all of the other things that we owned at the time as I did in the past too.

He had to show me some special tools in one cabinet. They were NOT all of our regular tools for building the house, car/truck or boat tools, etc. They were VERY SPECIFIC and $$$ expensive tools - German, English, Japanese (One?) and some American. They were in metric calculations other than the American ones. There were not TONS OF THEM but enough of them. So he showed me this ALL OVER AGAIN and I put NOTES BY EACH ITEM/TOOL and he told me the value of them and what they were for. Plus another famous gun man, LJ, who knew us told me that if I needed help for those special tools to ask him. Anyway, I was glad and I am still glad that those were the ONLY THINGS that I did not know about PRICE WISE and that my late husband TOOK THE TIME TO SHOW ME all over again before he died.

Yes, I could have asked other people and LOOKED THEM UP but HE TOOK THE TIME to dot the i's for me and cross the t's while he could still GO OUT INTO THE GARAGE with me. I sold almost all of those tools. I gifted a couple of those tools.

Plus the men/women who KNEW how carefully we took care of our things in our home and in life - came over and bought other things from me after he died.

I gifted a lot of other things. I donated a lot of other things. I sold a bunch of things.

The tools that we bought together and other goods - I had books on them (NIB bought.) and files. So the BUYERS and people who received GIFTS from me got information on all of those things plus yard equipment, snow blowers, push mowers, tons of other tools, small tractors, generators, etc.

ALL of that stuff - I knew about and was the record keeper of it all. File cabinet - clean and neat instructions.

In fact, I had my favorite yard tools and tractors/mowers, etc. too. I PICKED THEM OUT to suit me. Especially since I ended up doing most of the outside work for almost all of our marriage. I LOVED TO MOW the lawn and do the tree, bushes and flower work. I loved to wash the sail and power boats too. Trucks and cars? So so. LOL

Old Lady Cate

 

[Member 52301]

She's never asked. Good ones don't.

I am laughing my butt off here. NO offense. Here is a cup of coffee. LOL

I am reading this thread to my husband now.

My husband said that good ones ask because they probably have an INTEREST in shooting guns and if they don't actually shoot guns... they MAY actually be interested in firearms as objects, a part of history and/or as in INVESTMENTS.

Some people have safe queens.

We do not have safe queens but some people do.

I am NOT knocking people who own safe queens and think of guns as investments only when I say this.

We use what we own. We shoot our firearms. We use ALL of the things in our home. They don't just sit there looking pretty.

Plus other ladies who ask, mainly wives, may be be interested in your guns or in HER OWN GUNS! So they become firearm owners too!

Cate

 

[Member 52301]

I gave my wife the tour after the end of construction of "The Room", her only questions were how much did this cost and where is my AR...

I made the second bedroom aka a den into a gun room for my husband when I built this house.

He has a custom made desk for a reloading bench which is pretty large even if he did not NEED IT that big. The cabinet maker who built the kitchen and bathroom cabinets built and finished this for my husband.

Plus he has another area here that I helped SET UP FOR HIM for his supplies and a whole bunch more too.

HIS STUFF in this house = more stuff than what I own or want too. And that is even after he purposely downsized and consolidated calibers BIG TIME.

Fishing stuff? Check! Hunting stuff and GEAR? Check! Etc.

He owns more clothes, shoes, boots, and slippers than I own or WANT or need too. After he downsized too.

He owns more knives too. After he downsized too.

NO joke to you when I say this.

Cate

 

[Member 52301]

Opposite here. My wife knows virtually everything about what I own. While she may not know the exact values, she understands that we are heavily invested in this category and knows enough about most of them to know that they arent to be simply sold off for cheap. I have also sat down with her and together we prefilled all the necessary form 5s for all the NFA stuff in duplicates. She already knows which ones to keep, give away, or sell. while I trust her to do right by my wishes, I've also told her not to worry about all of it and do whatever she wishes with it all if I die prematurely.

My late husband told me that he did not care what I KEPT, sold, gifted or donated AFTER he died of cancer but we did DISCUSS some things since he already KNEW that I would move OUT OF STATE and sell the paid in full house after he died. It was paid for a long time before his cancer discovery too. I paid off the construction loan early.

We discussed how I would load one Coleman pop up camper IF I decided to keep it and tons more. What I would keep in vehicles IF I kept one or both of them. I had already sold the third one, an older one of mine, BEFORE his cancer discovery.

I told him my plans for my guns but I had not made a final decision too.

We never had what you have in guns. NFA, etc. - we never owned them.

You told your wife the right thing in my opinion.

Cate

 

[Member 52301]

My wife is my partner in all things. I don't hide stuff from her.

She doesn't complain, however she is encouraging me to get another gun safe or two to handle the overflow and another one for ammo.

I'm literally going to have to reinforce the floor if I do this. I love this woman.

-Dean

I told my husband to buy more shelves for a temp controlled and super insulated garage and some other items!

I am glad that you love your wife too.

Cate

 

[Member 52301]

My gun trust solved that problem. The wife doesn't care, and the kids named in the trust will take possession of the firearms that aren't already at their houses.

We gifted a lot already so those firearms are with those family members and friends.

ADDED more. We gifted 2 like NIB rifles to our range too.

The rest of the firearms that are left are getting SOLD and the money is going to Glacier National Park.

Cate

ADDED more.

 

[Kruel J]

I am laughing my butt off here. NO offense. Here is a cup of coffee. LOL

I am reading this thread to my husband now.

My husband said that good ones ask because they probably have an INTEREST in shooting guns and if they don't actually shoot guns... they MAY actually be interested in firearms as objects, a part of history and/or as in INVESTMENTS.

Some people have safe queens.

We do not have safe queens but some people do.

I am NOT knocking people who own safe queens and think of guns as investments only when I say this.

We use what we own. We shoot our firearms. We use ALL of the things in our home. They don't just sit there looking pretty.

Plus other ladies who ask, mainly wives, may be be interested in your guns or in HER OWN GUNS! So they become firearm owners too!

Cate

Oh she loves to shoot, she just doesn't ask how much I spent on my collection.

 

[Member 52301]

This is my wife…. No worries on the guns and ammo front!
View attachment 898212

Good one!

Cate

 

[Member 52301]

Oh she loves to shoot, she just doesn't ask how much I spent on my collection.

Oh okay... I understand what you are talking about now.

Plus in one post in this thread - you stated that you had a LIST in your safe - I think.

I was helping my husband with his breakfast and medicine here.

Take care.

Old Lady Cate

 

[clanhanson]

My SO was freaking out over spending 1k on beekeeping this year. Oh how I wish firearms were so cheap...

 

[OldTengu]

My wife and I aren't actually married, we've just been together quite a while. We haven't tied the knot due to her massive student loan debt, and have discovered that it's best for the time being to keep quite a few things separated in case she were unable to pay those debts any longer.
That said, she knows what's in the safe. She doesn't really care. She has a key in case she wants to get in there. If I start borrowing money from her to buy guns, she can be concerned.