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Plus I am pretty sure the guys who don't tell their wives where the money goes are afraid of their wives... must be heck living with Lorena Bobbit.:s0140:

HEY HEY now....Yeah I am afraid of my wife. No shame in that. Plus my wife knows where the money goes. She just the same as me does not ask for details. Kinda hard to hide the purchases when the credit card reads
Bi mart
Fishermans
Cabelas
Sportsmans

She knows I am a sporting goods whore. I think she just prefers to not know the details so long as she gets her toys and the bills get paid. Plus I think she got tired of hearing "I bought this gun for you honey".

I might get in trouble if she checked the safe. However the argument would be over when I opened her jewelry box and closet. She is a smart woman and knows that. Does not make her less scary though. Sometimes you have to hide to survive. I prefer my crawlspace. Raccoons keep me company.
 
One of our many conversations last night:

Wife: You sold the trailer for what you wanted out of it right?

Me: yea...

Wife: then take your sks off the market.

Me: eh, ill leave it up for awhile and if it sells for what im asking then it was meant to be.

Wife: I think you should keep it and worry about selling something if we need the money later.

--------------

I love my little lady:).

Really, it seems like you can trust your relationship or you can trust your wife. I'll keep trusting her as she does in me.

And yes, she is well aware I'm trying to build an AR thru all of this:cool:.
 
One of our many conversations last night:

Wife: You sold the trailer for what you wanted out of it right?

Me: yea...

Wife: then take your sks off the market.

Me: eh, ill leave it up for awhile and if it sells for what im asking then it was meant to be.

Wife: I think you should keep it and worry about selling something if we need the money later.

--------------

I love my little lady:).

Really, it seems like you can trust your relationship or you can trust your wife. I'll keep trusting her as she does in me.

And yes, she is well aware I'm trying to build an AR thru all of this:cool:.

Yeah my wifes take on all this is pretty much what I thought. "We trust each other to have some of our own funds but not overspend".

So either she really trusts me or just really really does not want me looking at the clothing bills. I got smacked for that last line.....TOLD you I was scared.
 
This is such a classic thread. Seriously.

Aren't we all just rowing along in the same boat.


Yes dear, I did spend $150 at cabelas, but see I used those reward points, some cash I had from the bottles and cans I returned and yup, it dropped it from $250. Aren't you proud of me for being a smart shopper?
 
One of our many conversations last night:

Wife: You sold the trailer for what you wanted out of it right?

Me: yea...

Wife: then take your sks off the market.

Me: eh, ill leave it up for awhile and if it sells for what im asking then it was meant to be.

Wife: I think you should keep it and worry about selling something if we need the money later.

--------------

I love my little lady:).

Really, it seems like you can trust your relationship or you can trust your wife. I'll keep trusting her as she does in me.

And yes, she is well aware I'm trying to build an AR thru all of this:cool:.

Sounds like you guys figured it out, marriage isn't about me but about us.:) Life is good.
 
I cannot imagine never not telling my wife what something costs. When we had our business, we pretty much were able to make business decisions up to a grand without consulting the other. In our personal life we would never think about not communicating about a purchase. But we are weird. We do not make payments on anything. We have money in the bank and a funded retirement account (s). We are able to contribute to the relief of others as well.

We do not buy each other gifts. For our birthdays this year we are buying an apple press. If she wants something she can buy it, me as well. But we have a common goal of being financially independent and able to survive on our own wits and skills. $ 600 car or truck payments will never happen here.
 
OF COURSE I DO,,,,,,,,WE TELL EVERYTHING YA KNOW. SHE IS MY BEST FRIEND, 37 YEARS.........WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT A PRICE?...............SORRY FOR THOSE THAT CAN COME TO THE PLATE HONESTLY. MAYBE SOMEDAY EH?
 
She never asks as long as the bills are paid and there's money in the bank life is good. Building a 6.5 Grendel now almost done and she never asked how much any part cost , I don't think she wants to know lol. Which is a good thing.:rolleyes:
 
So, I've been reflecting on marriage after reading the jokes thread and now I'm wondering if I've been bad. My fault lies in that I often buy expensive things and lie to my wife about the price when she asks. I once bought a camera for $2000 and told her it was $800. Does this make me a bad person? Does anyone else do this too?

Yes it does. I never lie to my wife. I would never tell her I just bought an expensive thing.
 
No wife - no issue
Ex-wife

No issues.

To the OP:

One of the main causes of marital strife is money issues, including arguing over money. It was in my marriage, in no small part because my ex felt money was something you spend, not something you earned. Also, she felt that new drapes and furniture were more important than paying the rent, having food and heat in the house and gas in the car. She still feels that way and despite having a fixed income she could live on, she spends that income on non-essentials first and shelter/food last.

I doubt I will ever get married again, but if I ever get into a relationship or marriage again, I will tell my significant other what something costs if I feel like it or she asks. We would have separate accounts though.

I am 62, and I have been working for 45 years and I have never had another person support me financially since I started working - my household has always been a single earner household. I have been single for 35+ years. Everything I have now and that I will have in the future, will go to my daughter.

I don't have to be accountable for my expenditures to anybody, so if they want to know what I spent on something I don't mind.

I know a lot of people think differently about financial issues in marriages, and that's fine if it works for them. But I cringe every time I hear someone say "I would buy it but my wife would kill me when she found out". IMO, if I was in a marriage where we had shared accounts/etc., as long as I pay the bills (or my share of the bills) and I made contributions to savings and retirement as agreed, then anything I bought with any left over is fine.

One of the reasons I left home when I was a teenager was because I wanted to be independent and accountable only to myself. I am happier that way, even if it means being alone.

I do think you are setting yourself up for problems if you lie to your wife.

YMMV.
 
Married almost 33 years living with the same gal for 35. If asked I tell. But we have a system. She as a Bookkeeper is much better suited to handling the home finances so here's how it works. We both work. I deposit a reasonable amount from my paycheck. It varies depending on how many hours and OT I get or what the bills demand. She does pretty much the same. Some goes into a Household account some goes into an account that automatic withdrawal bills are paid. And she has a small savings account where she puts money for up coming plans (new carpet, a weekend get away etc.) The balance of my pay check (it can range from $40 to $400 depending on OT) is mine. I use it for what ever from gas to get to work to what ever hobby I am into.

We haven't had an argument about money (in the classic sense) for many many years.

We live modestly no new cars no fancy toys I do all our auto work as well as all the remodeling on our old house etc. We currently have less then 1 year before the house is paid off. Most due to the wifes skill at handling money. We are hoping she can retire in 4-5 years I figure if the health holds to run it out to 68 in 9 years.

With regards to my firearms collection I have a spread sheet where I keep track of values and details and I routinely discuss the value of these investments with the wife. When you buy a rifle for $300 that a few years later is worth North of a Grand it tends to put a grim on the wifes face.

I never spend household money on any thing hobby related.
 
I've been married for over 50 years and I never told any of my ex wives when I bought something expensive or how much it cost. It wasn't any of their business.
 
Trust is something that can't be half way. So I'm honest with her about what I pay for things. I have expensive tools and wouldn't want her selling something for pennies on the dollar if something were to happen to me. She has received a real education to what some of the stuff I have is worth since we started selling at swap meets.
 
I really do not get this hers, mine, household bills, and all that. We have never had separate bank accounts or isolated accounts. We have a personal checking account, a business account, savings account and investment accounts. They are all one one spreadsheet that we both look at probably once a day a least to update them.

When we had our construction business, my wife was our office manager and controller. She was previously executive administration at a local public hospital. I did corporate construction turn around work as well. She kept our bank account window open on her desktop all day. Both of us did sometime. When you are moving $ 10,000 to $ 25,000 a day around it is just something you do. She was very good at controlling the cash flow.

We paid ourselves appropriately and are debt free expect for a small mortgage. We are frugal, but not misers. We have older vehicles, paid for in good condition, and money in the bank to keep them maintained and repaired. We have a muscle car. We have a 10 year old travel trailer. We are starting incremental remodeling projects on our home to increase its resale value. We have set parameters that our checking and savings accounts can never fall below, and we maintain them well in excess of those levels. If I want a new gun, at a reasonable price I can buy it. If she wants something she can buy it. I routinely buy things at estate sales and online, and resell them, usually for 50% net profit.

We have had hard times and good times. The hard times were real hard and you learn from them. I simply cannot imagine not having a clear and open line of communication with my wife about spending money. She has in fact encouraged me to buy a firearm sometimes and I have refused because it did not make much sense at the time. We have clawed our way back up from complete financial implosion back in 2009 due to the economy and my health crisis. She had to take apart a sizable construction business and liquidate it while I was dying in the hospital. She did a damn good job of it with no help from me at all. 7 years later we are doing well, and it sure as hell is not because we did and hers and mine thing at all.

Whatever works for you as individuals and couples is fine, our level of communication is very clear and open. Both of us had trust and financial issues big time in our first marriages, and 27 years ago we said it would never happen again, and it has not.
 
I really do not get this hers, mine, household bills, and all that. We have never had separate bank accounts or isolated accounts. We have a personal checking account, a business account, savings account and investment accounts. They are all one one spreadsheet that we both look at probably once a day a least to update them.

When your spouse is compatible and fiscally responsible then that is great. I am glad that so many people seem to have a spouse they can trust this way.

However, I didn't have a spouse that I could trust with money (among other things). I didn't have a spouse that was responsible with money, whether it was money I earned, or the money she earned after we separated or the combo of her money and money I gave her to support my daughter. Even now she can't be trusted with the money she gets from the gov. to provide for herself.

So you can maybe understand why I am a bit jaundiced with regards to finances. I have a daughter that is a responsible working adult, but that I want to provide for long term should I pass on. Regardless of whether I ever meet someone who is fiscally responsible and hook up with them in the future, I am safeguarding my current assets for the sake of my daughter.

I just think it is better in my personal situation that if I ever have a partner again, that each of us maintain our own personal finances.

YMMV
 
Completely understandable. I know several people in your same position who have substantial assets on both sides and do the same thing. I am currently working on my estate planning to make sure everybody is taken care of with an asset allocation plan. After that, if the undertaker finds one thin dime in my pocket, there has been a serious mistake on my part, I intend to spend it all.

My first wife would write a check for the down payment on a new car with money that was to pay witholding taxes with. I am fortunate that marriage crashed when we were young and while I had some assets, it was nothing like today. Even though I spent close to 20 years paying child support which I do not begrudge my children for at all, giving her almost half my income was really the driving force behind me trying to get a good business going that would allow me the income to have a life. Working a trades job was not cutting it, and I was working 7 days a week at 2 jobs for a long time to keep myself supported.

That expense to her for all those years is why I still have a mortgage.
 
My first wife would write a check for the down payment on a new car with money that was to pay witholding taxes with.

Sounds like my ex - except she had a different take on paying taxes; claim 99 dependents and then when the IRS came after her, claim bankruptcy. Rinse and repeat - and yes I know, this doesn't work very well, and you can only do it so many times. But she had it down to an art - somehow.

As for support, I too had no problem with paying support, except for the fact that she would not use most of the support money to provide for my daughter - she would use some of it for vacations to Hawaii and such things. There was little I could do about it.

That said, I know there are deadbeat dads out there too and I know one woman who works two jobs plus overtime to provide for her children who are not supported by their father.

It is a matter of responsibility and I take my responsibilities very seriously.
 

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