Do any of you have an adult child that is not competent to handle a firearm? And if so, how do you deal with shutting down their interest?

[1911Fanatic]

Well, my step daughter has a low IQ and she is on SSI. She is what doctors used to refer to as mildly mentally retarded. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can't stress enough that she would not be able to follow directions/commands. I have offered to take my granddaughter who is 11 years old shooting. She is smart as a whip. Understands complex things that her mother literally can't.

But every time I bring up taking my granddaughter to the range, her mom says that she want's to go too. I tell her that's fine, but she isn't allowed on the firing line and I am not letting her handle a gun. I have talked with the guys in charge at the range, and they wouldn't let her shoot either. It comes up every time that I want to take my granddaughter to the range.

I'm to the point that I don't even want to bring it up anymore. And I've been so sick lately that I haven't brought it up, but would like to get my granddaughter to go with me on the next good day I have on a weekend and start her off on a 22. I don't want to explain it to her and my wife doesn't either, because she just gets upset. Feels that we are attacking her.

Thankfully, she doesn't have a car, so that my wife and I can take her for a "shopping trip", make it a day long thing and I can sneak her off to the range for a couple hours, if the stars align. Do any of you have an adult child that is not competent to handle a firearm? And if so, how do you deal with shutting down their interest?

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[front_sight]

That's a tough one on one hand. But the answer is pretty obvious. You just can't put a gun in the hands of someone who has no concept of cause-and-effect, and who cannot follow simple instructions. Even if you are standing right behind them with your hands on their arms.

Besides the obvious possible consequences at the range, what if she really loves it and decides she is going to find and put her hands on your or someone else's gun. Right now shooting is all theoretical to her. It needs to stay that way.

So sorry this stands between you shooting with your granddaughter.

 

[Koda]

Pay for an hour of professional instruction for the mom. Let a pro deal with it, ask the pro for feedback if its worth continuing. Otherwise, keep insisting you only take your granddaughter and let that play out for better or worse.

 

[nwslopoke]

Maybe it's not the shooting, per se. She just wants group time. If it is really for the shooting experience, keep it to small calibers and limit the rounds in the gun. Make sure there is extra supervision on hand as well.

 

[1911Fanatic]

Pay for an hour of professional instruction for the mom. Let a pro deal with it, ask the pro for feedback if its worth continuing. Otherwise, keep insisting you only take your granddaughter and let that play out for better or worse.

Well, she's slow. B\ut not so slow that she couldn't go to a gun store and purchase a gun on her own without raising flags. Of course it would probably take her a half hour to fill out the form 4473. That's why I don't want to pay for an instructor for her.

She is the type who would take one shooting lesson, go buy a handgun, and leave it loaded with a round in the chamber, and wind up forgetting to clear the gun, and treat it like it's loaded, the next time she handles it. Plus she wouldn't store it properly. If she had a safe, she would forget the combination. She would probably just stick it in a drawer.

She lives in public, low income apartments. I don't know if she is even allowed to have a gun there. Her apartment has been bugled three times in the last few years. Thankfully nobody was home when it happened. But yeah it would likely get stolen.

I think I'm going to have to sneak my grand daughter off to the range, and let her mom find out where we went after the fact.

I don't want to waste money training her, because I know she wouldn't;t be able to handle it. She was in special Ed all her life. She doesn't follow directions. Get's flustered, and then doesn't listen to what she is being told.

Besides, where would I find a firearms instructor who would be willing to assess a retarded person?

 

[1911Fanatic]

The problem is that she doesn't look retarded. And she ain't ugly. She's got three baby daddy's and two were older men that took advantage of her. You try to talk some sense into her and she just does what she wants. Her last baby daddy, is a younger guy by about ten years. But he is a homeless, unemployed, alcoholic.

 

[CamoDeafie]

Low income apartments do not seem to have restrictions on firearms in the apartments,.from my own experience and observation. Only "prefer that tenants not to use them even for legitimate reasons".. mainly for liability and insurance and damages reasons (bullet holes in apartments, endangering other tenants, etc). But then again, seeing as most are within urban boundaries where discharging firearms are usually prohibited except for self defense use... Eh.


As for the stepdaughter? I'm on your side. I wouldn't trust her with a gun either. I don't trust my Level 3 ASD daughter even with knives around the kitchen...... But my younger son, he may be more receptive to firearms training. He is only 2 though.
My wife and I are on the same page regarding the daughter and firearms.

I know far too many people who should never ever be trusted with firearms, much less lives but they often have children sooo..... For the time being.. Insist on taking only the granddaughter out, not the mom.

 

[MikeInOr]

Well, my step daughter has a low IQ and she is on SSI. She is what doctors used to refer to as mildly mentally retarded. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can't stress enough that she would not be able to follow directions/commands. I have offered to take my granddaughter who is 11 years old shooting. She is smart as a whip. Understands complex things that her mother literally can't.

But every time I bring up taking my granddaughter to the range, her mom says that she want's to go too. I tell her that's fine, but she isn't allowed on the firing line and I am not letting her handle a gun. I have talked with the guys in charge at the range, and they wouldn't let her shoot either. It comes up every time that I want to take my granddaughter to the range.

I'm to the point that I don't even want to bring it up anymore. And I've been so sick lately that I haven't brought it up, but would like to get my granddaughter to go with me on the next good day I have on a weekend and start her off on a 22. I don't want to explain it to her and my wife doesn't either, because she just gets upset. Feels that we are attacking her.

Thankfully, she doesn't have a car, so that my wife and I can take her for a "shopping trip", make it a day long thing and I can sneak her off to the range for a couple hours, if the stars align. Do any of you have an adult child that is not competent to handle a firearm? And if so, how do you deal with shutting down their interest?

To me it sounds like you should just drop the idea of taking your granddaughter to the range altogether. You should not be taking minors out shooting without obtaining their parents consent first. I have taken some of my daughters friends out shooting when she was younger, but I always talked to the parents and made sure it was OK with them first.

If you can't obtain your step daughters consent to take your granddaughter out without big drama from your step daughter about coming along just drop it and find something else to do with your granddaughter.

 

[1911Fanatic]

Yeah, she's let me take her before. Maybe I should just give up on it. I hate to punish my granddaughter that way. I am just torn. I used to bring my granddaughter over to play musical instruments, but that's not her thing anymore. Hasn't been for a couple of years.

 

[Lazyfaire]

Yeah, she's let me take her before. Maybe I should just give up on it. I hate to punish my granddaughter that way. I am just torn. I used to bring my granddaughter over to play musical instruments, but that's not her thing anymore. Hasn't been for a couple of years.

I am sorry to read of your situation. I am sure that it must be very frustrating to want to be involved but have so many road blocks. As I see it the primary thing is that your step daughter not be allowed to hold, have, own or even shoot a weapon as she is not mentally competent to do so. Safety for her, anyone on the range or in her home must be paramount which you are obviously aware of. There are no easy solutions to satisfy everyone.
Can the granddaughter come and spend the weekend with her grandparents as a 'fun weekend' kind of thing?

I wish you well

 

[Certaindeaf]

Well, my step daughter has a low IQ and she is on SSI. She is what doctors used to refer to as mildly mentally retarded. She's not the sharpest tool in the shed. I can't stress enough that she would not be able to follow directions/commands. I have offered to take my granddaughter who is 11 years old shooting. She is smart as a whip. Understands complex things that her mother literally can't.

But every time I bring up taking my granddaughter to the range, her mom says that she want's to go too. I tell her that's fine, but she isn't allowed on the firing line and I am not letting her handle a gun. I have talked with the guys in charge at the range, and they wouldn't let her shoot either. It comes up every time that I want to take my granddaughter to the range.

I'm to the point that I don't even want to bring it up anymore. And I've been so sick lately that I haven't brought it up, but would like to get my granddaughter to go with me on the next good day I have on a weekend and start her off on a 22. I don't want to explain it to her and my wife doesn't either, because she just gets upset. Feels that we are attacking her.

Thankfully, she doesn't have a car, so that my wife and I can take her for a "shopping trip", make it a day long thing and I can sneak her off to the range for a couple hours, if the stars align. Do any of you have an adult child that is not competent to handle a firearm? And if so, how do you deal with shutting down their interest?

It sounds like she would be a natural politician, especially if she can laugh like a donkey.

 

[Tlock]

Safety is number 1....if it's not safe don't do it

 

[Stomper]

Thinking to myself, "what would King Solomon have done in this schituation"?

I believe that I have a solution to this conundrum....



Place a 5-gallon bucket filled with 33% ice and 66% water (leave 1% empty for overflow), tell her that if she can keep her head completely submerged under that ice-water for 15 minutes without coming up for air that she can go to the range with you.


If she can't then she loses and doesn't get to go, HOWEVER if she can keep her head submerged for that long.... the conundrum most likely has corrected itself.













I jest, of course!

 

[Jay Walk]

Stay away from the entire scene.
Unless you are wanting some problems to deal with.

 

[GrayGoose]

Compromise.
Take the grand daughter shooting and take the step-daughter to Chuck-E-Cheese.
They'll both be happy.

 

[Dozer99]

Make a range day with both mom and granddaughter. Bring a (one) singe shot 22LR rifle. It's going to be a test of you and your granddaughter's patience but it will clear the way for further shooting sessions.

Take the first 20 minutes at the rage explaining gun safety and proper range practices. Go into great detail about the front sight post and how to hold and aim the gun. I would even have the mom dry fire for about 10 minutes or so to make sure she understands the fundamentals of shooting. Do the same with the granddaughter.

Allow the mom (your stepdaughter) to shoot first. One bullet at a time and very controlled. After about 10 or so rounds., allow the granddaughter to shoot. Repeat this a few times (should be about an hour of shooting). The mom will get impatient with the low rate of fire, and it will be at this point you will see if she will hang in there or get tired of it all and go sit in the car (make sure your phone is charged so she can watch youtube).

I have no idea what the true capabilities of your Step Daughter are, but there is the possibility that she could surprise you. When I taught 4H shooting sport, we had a down-syndrome girl that we couched who within a few weeks was a better shot than anyone (including me) in our club. She was able to safely handle a weapon, load, fire and unload. She was watched very closely at all times just like to other children, but at least she had the joy of being able to tell everyone she was the best shot in our club. Kind of made us all proud.

Just something to ponder. I can not imagine the frustration of your situation but keep at it and you and your granddaughter will get through it.

 

[RVTECH]

But every time I bring up taking my granddaughter to the range, her mom says that she want's to go too.

A couple questions.

Does your stepdaughter wish to be included in anything you do with your granddaughter or is the range/shooting trip something out of the ordinary she wants to be included on?

Is your relationship with your stepdaughter and granddaughter on an equal 'footing' - or are you possibly a bit 'closer' to and more 'materially involved with your granddaughter?

 

[kirkcdl]

You say your stepdaughter starts a sh@tstorm whenever you suggest taking her daughter shooting,it'll be WW3 if you take the grandaughter shooting without mom being aware of it...Because she WILL talk about it...

 

[TTSX]

Single action .22 revolvers exist. Even single shot models. And they're not expensive. Likewise, I happen to own a 1 round 10/22 magazine you'd be welcome to borrow that I use just for new shooters to be extra, extra sure. I don't see the harm in letting her have a chance, she is an American with rights after all....

 

[arakboss]

Thinking to myself, "what would King Solomon have done in this schituation"?

I believe that I have a solution to this conundrum....



Place a 5-gallon bucket filled with 33% ice and 66% water (leave 1% empty for overflow), tell her that if she can keep her head completely submerged under that ice-water for 15 minutes without coming up for air that she can go to the range with you.


If she can't then she loses and doesn't get to go, HOWEVER if she can keep her head submerged for that long.... the conundrum most likely has corrected itself.













I jest, of course!

Can I use this when my wife wants me to go somewhere I don't want to go?