Did Or Will You Be Retiring At A Different Time Than Your Spouse?

[FATAL125]

I am a frugal person

my spending addiction

 

[arakboss]

View attachment 1937366

Maybe frugal was the wrong word I am a cheapskate bargain hunter.

 

[Joe13]

Social Security will likely be gone when it's my time to retire but if not my wife and I are months away from each other in age so I guess we could retire at the same time.

I can't imagine there would be resentment if one of us retired early or later.

All comes down to your relationship.

 

[Old Dog]

My idea of retirement is trimming trees, cutting firewood, shooting up the cinder pit, hiking and drinking cheap beer, innawoods (specifically my cabin property

Man, that's what I thought my retirement was gonna be like. But sometimes I feel busier than I did when I was working.

I've been retired now for a little over two years. My spouse, who's a year older than I am, is still working (her choice). We don't need her income. She could easily have retired (she's got family money, a great IRA and a trust) when I did, but she likes her job and the people she works with, says she's needed and her work fulfills her.

I took my Social Security as soon as I was eligible just because. I wasn't gonna hold off for a couple more years just to bump it up another 300 bucks a month or so. Through sheer luck, good fortune and the grace of God (I didn't plan at all for retirement when I was younger), I ended up with two pensions plus VA disability..

Not at all confident that my children will be as well taken care of when they're ready to retire; my oldest thinks she'll have to work until she's 80 -- hopefully SSA will not run out of money and Medicare won't get demolished.

Me, I miss working, because I had some great friends , but the physical demands, the way the job changed the past few years, defund LE, catch'n'release justice system, massive staffing shortfalls, crushing overtime, but mostly, the type of people we were recruiting into the job couple with the DEI and woke politics made me ready to leave, even though I could have stayed and probably gotten another promotion into more of an admin role.

Wife doesn't like it much that I'm always at home now when she is. So I owe her a trip to Italy and a cruise when she retires later this year.

I can't imagine there would be resentment if one of us retired early or later.

All comes down to your relationship.

She tries really hard to hide it, but I think she does kind of resent me having so much free time -- especially if I don't have dinner and a cocktail ready for her when she gets home or let a couple chores around the house slide --while she doesn't have time enough for her friends and her hobbies.

You are totally correct -- it absolutely comes down to your relationship. It also helps to share some hobbies or activities. Fortunately, we both love to cook (and eat), travel, shoot and fish.

 

[orygun]

I am a frugal person

Good thing @FATAL125 beat me to it.

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

My wife is in the PERS system and could retire early but won't because she likes her job and wants to keep earning the big bucks + benefits.

Which Tier of PERS?

I put in six years of public service right out of college and am vested in Tier One, so I can start getting checks next year when I turn 58. I had to go back to public service in 2023 since Biden killed my business, but should be able to pick back up again next year once President Trump turns things around. My wife started at a local college in whatever passes for PERS these days and has to wait until she is 65 for full benefit retirement, or 60 for partial benefit early retirement. She is 23 months younger than me and yes there is some resentment about her having to work for the insurance coverage.

As for SS, I plan to "retire" as soon as I hit 62 just so I get my foot in the door before they re-work they system and screw all of us who paid in for over 40 years. At that point I can incorporate and have my company pay me an amount under the SS earnings limit.

All of that, plus my wife wants to move the family to Texas as soon as I turn 58!

 

[orygun]

As or SS, I plan to "retire" as soon as I hit 62 just so I get my foot in the door before they re-work they system and screw all of us who paid in for over 40 years. At that point I can incorporate and have my company pay me an amount under the SS earnings limit.

I've been wondering about this. I started my company as an "Inc." almost two years ago and am now 62. I guess I should talk to my CPA about this.

 

[thekingoftroy]

I am 56 and retired 5 years ago at the age of 51. I retired from the PERS system. My wife just turned 44. She is going to work another ten years and then retire and substitute teach.

She doesn't resent me for being retired I am mostly a stay at home husband. I contribute my retirement money and take care of the household chores (cook, clean and do laundry.) I think it's all about balance and dependent on each individual relationship.

I think with the age gap between us it works just fine.

 

[TTSX]

Since we're talking about PERS, I had about one year into that system as a very part time student worker. I think my total "balance" or whatever it is they send me paperwork on each year is about $400 and I'm not even sure I can ever collect on it. Still growing little by little each year.

 

[TTSX]

I am 56 and retired 5 years ago at the age of 51. I retired from the PERS system. My wife just turned 44. She is going to work another ten years and then retire and substitute teach.

She doesn't resent me for being retired I am mostly a stay at home husband. I contribute my retirement money and take care of the household chores (cook, clean and do laundry.) I think it's all about balance and dependent on each individual relationship.

I think with the age gap between us it works just fine.

Lucky sumbish

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

Since we're talking about PERS, I had about one year into that system as a very part time student worker. I think my total "balance" or whatever it is they send me paperwork on each year is about $400 and I'm not even sure I can ever collect on it. Still growing little by little each year.

You had to be contributing to the PERS system for 60 months in order to be "vested" in your retirement. Since your first six months is "probation" where your employer does not contribute to PERS, that means five and a half years of employment are needed to get retirement benefits. I lasted just under six years in my 20's until I got out and stared my own business. Luckily I am Tier One and all of that money I had put in has been compounding at just under 8% per year.

 

[arakboss]

Which Tier of PERS?

I put in six years of public service right out of college and am vested in Tier One, so I can start getting checks next year when I turn 58. I had to go back to public service in 2023 since Biden killed my business, but should be able to pick back up again next year once President Trump turns things around. My wife started at a local college in whatever passes for PERS these days and has to wait until she is 65 for full benefit retirement, or 60 for partial benefit early retirement. She is 23 months younger than me and yes there is some resentment about her having to work for the insurance coverage.

As for SS, I plan to "retire" as soon as I hit 62 just so I get my foot in the door before they re-work they system and screw all of us who paid in for over 40 years. At that point I can incorporate and have my company pay me an amount under the SS earnings limit.

All of that, plus my wife wants to move the family to Texas as soon as I turn 58!

Tier 2

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

Tier 2

Like many others, she will be able to "retire" at age 60 and continue working while receiving monthly checks from PERS. Watch both of your stress and health. So many of my coworkers from the 1990's suffered to make it 30 years only to die a year or two later.

 

[CLT65]

No resentment, but definitely a little jealousy... of all you guys whose wives actually have incomes. My wife put her career on hold a couple decades ago to raise our kids, and was in no hurry to go back to work. Health issues came along and now she's effectively disabled. Yeah I'll be working as long as I physically can.

 

[gmerkt]

There is an age gap of five years between Mrs. Merkt and myself. Which seems common enough in the posts here. I was in an old public retirement system eligible to retire at age 55, worked to 57 then pulled the plug. Mrs. Merkt had to work until age 62, so with my earlier eligibility and the age gap, the difference was ten years. Which she had no problem with. When we started having children, she wanted to be a full-time mom. I was fine with that, we were able to pull it off financially but there wasn't much to spare for 17 years. After our youngest was well along, Mrs. Merkt went back to work half time. She didn't want to go full time because the housework might suffer. Three quarter time was too much. She settled on half time work for, what, 20 more years? Which was fine because I didn't especially want to the the cooking, etc. She enjoyed it well enough but it was still work. She happily took SS at age 62.

My first couple of years of retirement, I travelled a lot and drifted around, Mrs. Merkt was fine with it if that's what I wanted to do. Then I started and ran a small business for five or six years.

Now both of our main jobs is keeping up with health.

 

[Mark W.]

Wife retired at 65 back in April. I'm 67 and in what you could call a soft retirement. I drive dump truck and there's not much work for a paving company in the winter. So I'm sitting on unemp for the winter I'll see how I feel about working any more this early spring. Started SSI at 66.5 my full retirement. Wife started at 65 when she could get Medicare.

 

[CLT65]

No resentment, but definitely a little jealousy... of all you guys whose wives actually have incomes. My wife put her career on hold a couple decades ago to raise our kids, and was in no hurry to go back to work. Health issues came along and now she's effectively disabled. Yeah I'll be working as long as I physically can.

By the way, don't feel sorry for me; all in all we have it good, pretty darn good actually. I know others, some on this forum, who have been dealt a much worse hand in life, and they keep going with dogged determination and a positive attitude.

My wife goes in for yet another surgery tomorrow morning. There are times that I get down and wallow in a little self-pity, and I'm seriously humbled when I see someone else going through worse with a smile on their face.

A good friend of mine recently retired at 60 and was having the best time of his life for a couple years, but now his wife's health took a bad turn and they're going through rough times. Sometimes life really sucks. Enjoy the good times.

 

[arakboss]

I have lots of dreams about retiring, retiring early, working part time, etc, etc, etc. Reality is that I will likely be working until I physically can't work anymore and then I'll take that golden escalator up into the sky or down into the hot basement.

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

If you have PERS, get your retirement before it hits the fan https://oregoncatalyst.com/82284-17-billion-pension-hole-higher-taxes.html

 

[OldTengu]

I think for my wife and I both, we're likely to retire a couple weeks after we die.
I'm 38, have been working since 14 (with a couple unemployment breaks in there) and other than an OK firearms collection, I don't have phuck-all to show for it except some good stories. Frankly, I don't make enough to comfortably put anything away (at all, not just retirement wise), and part of that is due to my wife creating a financial schitstorm for us by not being forthright about whether she was losing or making money when we decided she could try selling her art for a living, for awhile. Not to mention the overall cost of living here.

If she retires first, it's only because she's passed away before I do.