Death Threat -- Spam Email

[bogeycentral]

Usually I don't find this to be a funny topic, but for the spam e-mail I received today, I made an exception. Evidently the crime syndicate wants me dead...

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Subject: YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER

As I sit here sipping a martini it is my regretful duty to inform you that you have been selected for assassination.

I am a professional assassin (I enclose my certificate of assassination as proof) and SMERSH have contacted me to assassinate you and have specifically paid extra for a particularly nasty death which makes it look like you died in a particularly bizarre sex game gone wrong; I had already bought the shire horse stallion (he's called Henry - picture attached), the lard and the dragon di1do (from Bad Dragon of course, I only use the very best tools) when I found out that you are innocent of the accuse, so I make out this time to contact you. Unfortunately international crime syndicates won't admit to mistakes and cancel the hit so I will be forced to carry out the assassination on you. Sorry about that old chap but rules are rules.

There is an option for me to help you in other for you to know who had paid SMERSH for your DEATH and don't forget my men had been monitoring you for the past few days and daily record of your activities is been sent to me but I have refuse to order your DEATH.

Get back to me if you value your LIFE with all due speed or else I regret I will have to carry out my original contract to assassinate you and although he is quite charming for a horse I don't think Henry is the most sensitive of lovers.

Toodle Pip!

Dai Teatime
International Assassin

Read More

 

[keystir]

I think this might be legit.

 

[Toxic6]

Blahahahahaa......i bet that picture is of a trojan horse. I would be so tempted to reply to that email personally, but that would just give them an email verification......

 

[Stomper]

The Monty Python troupe must have spent their earnings since their heyday and be needing more income.

 

[oknow]

why not do the right thing and turn it over to the cops a death threat is a death threat weather it's in person or over the net they can follow the trail to whoever sent it.

 

[keystir]

why not do the right thing and turn it over to the cops a death threat is a death threat weather it's in person or over the net they can follow the trail to whoever sent it.

Are you out of your mind! This guy is a certified assassin. He goes to the cops we'll never hear from him again.

 

[bogeycentral]

No point in wasting the cop's time with something like this. I would be embarrassed to report this. I really want to see what the picture is too. Comical relief e-mail. The professional assassin that tells me he is going to kill me is the best part. Last time I checked degrees to get in college I didn't see the assassination program listed.

 

[oknow]

No point in wasting the cop's time with something like this. I would be embarrassed to report this. I really want to see what the picture is too. Comical relief e-mail. The professional assassin that tells me he is going to kill me is the best part. Last time I checked degrees to get in college I didn't see the assassination program listed.

it doesn't have to be a legit death threat kinda like a bomb threat with no bomb don't bother the cop's right.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Carry sugar cubes for Henry! Just in case.

 

[Toxic6]

it's email (which changes things i think), and likely originated out of country....what cop is going to have authority? I bet it would have to go federal, and i am sure they would get right on it LOL.

 

[oknow]

maybe this maybe that yea yea don't you ever watch hawaii 5-0 they track overseas too

 

[Toxic6]

LOL...

 

[BoonDocks36]

that was funny beyond snicker level... a New version of I am the recently widowed former Prince and if you just would pray for me, (plus, please pay Off my mortgage...)

However, I think Henry would ~prefer~ a Nice Apple, a Golden Delicious, perhaps, or a McIntosh maybe.... but Not the Netbook, its to crunchy, the fruit kind of McIntosh apple!!!

Side Note:, man I have missed this place, a Computer Graphics card goes down, and my life stops!

Back up, Back Up, BACK UP... I simply can not afford the online services for same... I just nr
need to keep a scheduled doit!

Boondocking on Hwy 36

 

[bogeycentral]

Now you reminded me how much I miss watching The Boondocks...

 

[WhyteCheddar]

This is funny. Like all of the crazy spam scams that come from over seas.
But, crazy as those are, many people actually fall for them. And like those, there will be folks who will fall for this as well.
The feds might take these a little more seriously because of the death threats.
But that is one funny email.

 

[Redcap]

Hilarious!

 

[Swedish K]

create a spam account and email them back stating your cousin Jason Bond, son of James, is tracking them with his professional hit team as they read this and if they don't apologize to the original email immediately and leave 50 ham sammiches on the corner of walk and don't walk they will be forced to steal the horse and kneecap his entire team with a cordless drill.

 

[drew]

I started laughing when I saw "certificate of assassination".

 

[westcoastal]

Carry sugar cubes for Henry! Just in case.

Hehe this /\

 

[Sun195]

If you were an Honorary Consul for South Korea, I'm sure the FBI would get right on this for you.