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Death Threat -- Spam Email

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by bogeycentral, Dec 1, 2012.

  1. bogeycentral

    bogeycentral Central Oregon Member

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    Usually I don't find this to be a funny topic, but for the spam e-mail I received today, I made an exception. Evidently the crime syndicate wants me dead...

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    Subject: YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER

    As I sit here sipping a martini it is my regretful duty to inform you that you have been selected for assassination.

    I am a professional assassin (I enclose my certificate of assassination as proof) and SMERSH have contacted me to assassinate you and have specifically paid extra for a particularly nasty death which makes it look like you died in a particularly bizarre sex game gone wrong; I had already bought the shire horse stallion (he's called Henry - picture attached), the lard and the dragon di1do (from Bad Dragon of course, I only use the very best tools) when I found out that you are innocent of the accuse, so I make out this time to contact you. Unfortunately international crime syndicates won't admit to mistakes and cancel the hit so I will be forced to carry out the assassination on you. Sorry about that old chap but rules are rules.

    There is an option for me to help you in other for you to know who had paid SMERSH for your DEATH and don't forget my men had been monitoring you for the past few days and daily record of your activities is been sent to me but I have refuse to order your DEATH.

    Get back to me if you value your LIFE with all due speed or else I regret I will have to carry out my original contract to assassinate you and although he is quite charming for a horse I don't think Henry is the most sensitive of lovers.

    Toodle Pip!

    Dai Teatime
    International Assassin
     
    gallogiro and (deleted member) like this.
  2. keystir

    keystir Hillsboro, OR Active Member

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    I think this might be legit.
     
    gallogiro and (deleted member) like this.
  3. Toxic6

    Toxic6 Higher then a PDX hipster (~10,000 ft higher) Active Member

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    Blahahahahaa......i bet that picture is of a trojan horse. I would be so tempted to reply to that email personally, but that would just give them an email verification......
     
  4. Stomper

    Stomper Oceania Rising White Is The New Brown Silver Supporter

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    The Monty Python troupe must have spent their earnings since their heyday and be needing more income.
     
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  5. oknow

    oknow amboy wa. Well-Known Member

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    why not do the right thing and turn it over to the cops a death threat is a death threat weather it's in person or over the net they can follow the trail to whoever sent it.
     
  6. keystir

    keystir Hillsboro, OR Active Member

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    Are you out of your mind! This guy is a certified assassin. He goes to the cops we'll never hear from him again.
     
  7. bogeycentral

    bogeycentral Central Oregon Member

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    No point in wasting the cop's time with something like this. I would be embarrassed to report this. I really want to see what the picture is too. Comical relief e-mail. The professional assassin that tells me he is going to kill me is the best part. Last time I checked degrees to get in college I didn't see the assassination program listed.
     
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  8. oknow

    oknow amboy wa. Well-Known Member

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    it doesn't have to be a legit death threat kinda like a bomb threat with no bomb don't bother the cop's right.
     
  9. Sgt Nambu

    Sgt Nambu Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Carry sugar cubes for Henry! Just in case.
     
  10. Toxic6

    Toxic6 Higher then a PDX hipster (~10,000 ft higher) Active Member

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    it's email (which changes things i think), and likely originated out of country....what cop is going to have authority? I bet it would have to go federal, and i am sure they would get right on it LOL.
     
  11. oknow

    oknow amboy wa. Well-Known Member

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    maybe this maybe that yea yea don't you ever watch hawaii 5-0 they track overseas too:funnypoint:
     
  12. Toxic6

    Toxic6 Higher then a PDX hipster (~10,000 ft higher) Active Member

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    LOL...
     
  13. BoonDocks36

    BoonDocks36 Oregon, in the boondocks Christian. Conservative. Male.

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    that was funny beyond snicker level... a New version of I am the recently widowed former Prince and if you just would pray for me, (plus, please pay Off my mortgage...)

    However, I think Henry would ~prefer~ a Nice Apple, a Golden Delicious, perhaps, or a McIntosh maybe.... but Not the Netbook, its to crunchy, the fruit kind of McIntosh apple!!!

    Side Note:, man I have missed this place, a Computer Graphics card goes down, and my life stops!

    Back up, Back Up, BACK UP... I simply can not afford the online services for same... I just nr
    need to keep a scheduled doit!

    Boondocking on Hwy 36
     
  14. bogeycentral

    bogeycentral Central Oregon Member

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    Now you reminded me how much I miss watching The Boondocks...
     
  15. WhyteCheddar

    WhyteCheddar East of Moscow by the Willamette Well-Known Member

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    This is funny. Like all of the crazy spam scams that come from over seas.
    But, crazy as those are, many people actually fall for them. And like those, there will be folks who will fall for this as well.
    The feds might take these a little more seriously because of the death threats.
    But that is one funny email.
     
  16. Redcap

    Redcap Lewis County, WA Well-Known Member

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    Hilarious!
     
    Burt Gummer and (deleted member) like this.
  17. Swedish K

    Swedish K SW Washington Moderator Staff Member

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    create a spam account and email them back stating your cousin Jason Bond, son of James, is tracking them with his professional hit team as they read this and if they don't apologize to the original email immediately and leave 50 ham sammiches on the corner of walk and don't walk they will be forced to steal the horse and kneecap his entire team with a cordless drill.
     
  18. drew

    drew OR Well-Known Member

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    I started laughing when I saw "certificate of assassination".
     
  19. westcoastal

    westcoastal north coast of oregon Active Member

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    Carry sugar cubes for Henry! Just in case.

    Hehe this /\
     
  20. Sun195

    Sun195 Pugetropolis, WA Well-Known Member

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    If you were an Honorary Consul for South Korea, I'm sure the FBI would get right on this for you.