Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[Hop Sing]

I bought a new shirt and for some reason it kept getting static electricity in it.

Took it back and got a new one free of charge.

 

[Mono1]

I bought a new shirt and for some reason it kept getting static electricity in it.

Took it back and got a new one free of charge.

WINNAH!!!! ^^^^

 

[BigSki]

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.

 

[Hop Sing]

Kornfushious say: "A pun is not matured until it is full groan."

 

[64MercurysRule]

Or put another way : A bun is not matured until it is a full loaf .......

 

[CamoDeafie]

Kornfushious say: "A pun is not matured until it is full groan."

A joke becomes a dad joke when its apparent

 

[BigSki]

I used to be afraid of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over them

 

[TTSX]

Did you know in the Bible it says "man shall drink coffee"?

It's right there in the book of HE BREWS

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

 

[Hop Sing]

Do songbirds look down on hummingbirds because they don't know the words?

 

[Member 53867]

Do songbirds look down on hummingbirds because they don't know the words?

Would a hummingbird that did know the words be ostracized?

 

[Member 53867]

The CIA got President Thieu out of Vietnam, and they put him up where they had formerly housed Argentina's president Juan Perón. Fortunately for Thieu, no budget increase was necessary, proving that Thieu could live as cheaply as Juan.

 

[BigSki]

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek competition but the good players are still missing

 

[Richo877]

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek competition but the good players are still missing

The best players are hard to find

 

[Richo877]

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
"aaRgh?"
You'd think so, but it really be the C!

 

[Mrmerlinn]

Two inexperienced hunters were following a set of tracks. They argued about what they were. One thought they were deer tracks, the other thought they were elk tracks.
Before they could figure out what they were, a train came along and ran over them.

 

[CamoDeafie]

What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast

 

[Member 53867]

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous.

A night of tall tales commences.

The first says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground, by the horns, with my bare hands."

The second chimes in, "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattler slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off, and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy just pulled his pecker out of the fire and proceeded to brand the other two.

 

[BigSki]

I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She didn't believe me until I rode pasta her

 

[Mrmerlinn]

When I was a boy, the doctors took my tonsils out and it was called a tonsilectomy. The next year they took out my brother's
appendix. That was an appendectomy. Then my sister wanted a sex change. That was an addadicktomy!