Dad jokes are not just for dads!

[Nick Burkhardt]

 

[GrayGoose]

Why did the farmer cross the road?


Because his pecker was stuck in the chicken.

 

[CamoDeafie]

They ran out of sausage and cheese at this year's Oktoberfest. The Germans have a plan for this, however.

They call it the "Wurst-Käse Scenario"

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

 

[64MercurysRule]

A cop pulled me over and said .....papers? ..... I said scissors and won .
So I drove off ..... he must have wanted a rematch or something cuz he followed me for like 45 minutes .

 

[64MercurysRule]

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth .....

Then it's just a soap opera .

 

[CamoDeafie]

I wish the media would shut up about the UFOs... They're just droning on and on about it

 

[64MercurysRule]

I keep asking what LGBTQ stands for.....

So far I haven't got a straight answer .

 

[64MercurysRule]

Not to brag or nothing but I've been hired as a model .......

They are using me as the before picture .

 

[64MercurysRule]

I just joined a dating site for arsonist....

They sent me a lot of matches .


I lost my wife's audiobook.....

Now I won't hear the end of it .


Have you heard about the blind cyclops brothers ....

Neither have eye .

 

[CamoDeafie]

What do you call Arnold Schwarzenegger working for a pest control company? The Ex Terminator

 

[sobo]

What do you call Arnold Schwarzenegger working for a pest control company? The Ex Terminator

Waah waah waaaaaahhhh...

 

[WEE]

i before e except after c.

Disproved by science.

 

[Nick Burkhardt]

 

[Richo877]

What's the best Christmas gift?
Broken drums, you can't beat 'em.

 

[CamoDeafie]

 

[Richo877]

Why was E the only letter of the alphabet to get a Christmas gift? All of the other letters are naught-E.

 

[64MercurysRule]

Why did the non binary prospector buy property out west .......

He heard there was gold in them/their hills .

 

[Nocaster]

Why does the chicken coop only have two doors?



Because if it had four doors, it'd be a chicken sedan

 

[bcp]

How to tell a song composer has never seen a reindeer:

"Up on the housetop, reindeer paws"


Bruce