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Christmas, Army style

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by Artilleryman, Dec 24, 2012.

  1. Artilleryman

    Artilleryman Originally from the central midwest but have reloc Active Member

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    MEMORANDUM FOR ALL PERSONNEL

    SUBJECT: Official Visit from Lieutenant General Santa (NMN) Claus

    1) An official visit by LTG Santa Claus is expected in this area on 24 December 2012. The following directives will govern activities of personnel during subject visit:

    a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include assigned and attached native mice. Special stirring permits (DA Form 2276) for necessary action will be obtained from the Unit Administrator prior to COB 23 Dec 12.

    b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2201 hours 24 Dec 12. Uniform for this nap is as follows: Pajamas (Cotton, light, drowsing), with kerchief and or cap. Equipment will drawn from Supply Sergeant prior to 1900 hours, 24 Dec 12.

    c. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugarplums for visions to dance in their heads. These will be drawn the Food Service Sergeant, utilizing DA Form 3032, Signature Headcount Form.

    d. Stockings (wool, cushion sole, OG 106) will be hung by chimney with care. Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fires caused carelessly hung stockings. Safety Officer will submit Stocking Hanging Plans) DA Form 2277) prior to 0800, 22 Dec 12.

    e. At first sign of clatter from lawn, all troops will spring from their beds to investigate and evaluate the matter. Immediate action will be taken to avoid the toppling of bunks while running to tear open the shutters and throw up the sash. HQ STARC OPLAN “Saint Nick” (Annex C, Para 6c, this HQ’s, dtd 10 Dec 06) will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing. Section Chiefs will familiarize all personnel with proper procedures, and are responsible to insure no shutters are torn or sashes are thrown prior to start of official visit.

    f. Prior to 2330 hours on date of visit, all personnel will be assigned “Wondering Eye: stations. After shutters are torn and sashes are thrown, these stations will be manned.

    g. The Battalion S-4 will designate one each Sleigh, Miniature M-113, and 8 each Reindeer, Tiny, for use by General Claus. Driver assigned must have current rooftop license, and be able to shout clearly the following: “ON DASHER, ON DANCER, ON PRANCER AND VIXEN, ON COMET, ON CUPID, ON DONNER AND BLITZEN”.

    2) General Claus will enter unit area through chimneys. All sections without chimneys will draw one each Simulator, Chimney, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimneys will be drawn utilizing DA Form 3161, and these forms will be submitted to Supply in triplicate prior to 20 Dec 12.
    3) Troops will be rehearsed in the shouting of “HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!” This shout will be given upon the termination of the official visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of the unit First Sergeant

    4) The point of contact for this matter is 1SG Harry Mittlieder, 2-146th FA, or Corporal Clement C. Moore, or SSG John Deschner, Recruiting and Retention NCO.