Carrying Into Someone's Home

[Member 5605]

I don't know anyone who looks down upon me carrying.

That said.... I've been poked a few times out at my dads when I've had my pistol on my hip. Typically it's covered up 100% and nobody is the wiser so it's a moot point. Everybody I know is aware I carry... I think.

It's a part of me, it's an inantimate object incapable of moving on its own. So if you know me, you know you have no problem.

My sister in law expects it. She has a crazy brother and has asked me a few times when we go for dinner "can you..." and I'm happy oblige.

 

[Member 3687]

First I do believe that a person has the right to make rules for their own property and home.

For the most part I am a do not ask and do not tell type of person, so if posted I will not go in if carrying. If not posted they will never know I carry that is why they call it concealed. The only time I leave a gun at home or should I say in my car is in my current work place or going to the court house.

I have carried for almost 37 years now and my whole family and my true friends know it. I guess it was about 12 years ago I had a couple close relatives ask that I not carry at their home the whole kids, accident thing so I said ok and I have not been in their home in all this time, no birthday parties or family get together.

They come to my house knowing full well I have a few guns and I do not hide them we call each other often but I will respect their rules as I feel a person's home is their castle.

I still agree that we as a people should have the right to make these decisions about our life in our homes.

 

[ZA_Survivalist]

What is the etiquette on (concealed) carrying your gun into a house you're a guest of? Gun rights beliefs of the owner notwithstanding. Is it considered rude to not tell them? Polite to ask or inform?

The pistol I bring into someones home is for their protection as well. Id aid in defending them like my own family. Thankfully I dont hang out with many people, let alone anyone that would raise a brow at the idea of me carrying.
(I.e. Anti gunners)

 

[mjbskwim]

I would not say anything, no matter what their stance on guns is.
Concealed is concealed, and no one else's business but my own.

But you are in someone else's home. Out of respect for their home you should care
It is their home and their business.

 

[transittech]

This is an interesting discussion. A few weeks ago my wife was at a party and I went to pick her up. I entered the house as she finished up her visiting, this question crossed my mind. I didn't say a thing, stayed right inside the front door, and left 5 minutes later. I don't have a clue how they would feel about it, or even how they vote.

My answer living in urban PDX: Concealed is concealed. Keep it that way and you won't have a problem. If they specifically express otherwise, that's a different story.

 

[Koda]

the thing to consider here is not so much if your caught, (cause you all are good at this right (concealed means no printing...)... right?) The thing to consider is nowadays you never know when the subject (guns, gun control...) will come up and you have to lie and if you don't know these people well yet, thats starting out the new friendship on the wrong foot. Probably at least one other person in the home will know you just enough, and now you have to hope they are in line with you. Odds are it will go fine, but you may leave them with the somethings odd feeling. Getting to know new friends is great, but you don't know yet if they are anti-gun or middle grounders or pro-gun it doesn't matter where they stand it leaves a bad impression if they learn even at a later time that your brought a gun into their home without informing them because its what you would want to know.

 

[Bushman]

Don't ask, don't tell. Bump into somone? Play it off.

 

[BillGabby1]

Very few people I know know that I carry, and I prefer to keep it that way. As I've stated here before, I carry everywhere it's not expressly forbidden by law. I have family that aren't keen on the idea of guns or carrying, but I don't see the need to give up my right to self defense because I'm in their, or anyone else's home. Fact remains that you NEVER know when or where you may need your gun for self defense, so until someone can warn me ahead of time, it is just a simply fact of life that I carry, everywhere, every time (again, unless specifically forbidden by law).

Some might consider that disrespectful, but I find those that would choose to disarm me equally disrespectful. I do respect private property rights, and do expect my rules to be followed in my home. I don't think I have to tell people, for example, not to take illegal drugs in my home, and so far, no one has. I figure so long as my gun doesn't come out for defensive use, they'll never know - and since I'm no threat to them just carrying concealed, I don't see it as a problem. That said, if someone stood at their door and expressly forbid me from coming in while carrying (not sure how they'd know), then I'd turn around and leave. The people's homes I go to are people that should already know and trust me, so they should have no reason to fear me or my gun.

Very well put, I too carry every where it's legal to do so, 24-7 except in the shower.
Gabby

 

[mkwerx]

If you subscribe to the thought of having to ask permission every time you enter private property - that means either you're going to be handling your weapon a LOT, or not carry a gun a lot because you don't want to mess around with it, or you're going to be having a lot of awkward conversations.

When my pistol goes into it's holster in the morning, it doesn't come out until I get ready for bed at night. The last thing I want to be doing when I'm out in public is farting around taking my gun off and putting it back on - far too much unnecessary weapon handling, and leaving a weapon in a vehicle, which isn't optimal even if one has a gun vault in the truck. It increases the likelihood of accidental/negligent discharge, it increases the likelihood someone will see the gun and call the cops about a man with a gun, and does nothing to enhance your safety, or that of anyone else.

If you choose to leave it at home because you're going someplace that may or may not want you to be armed, chances are you're not going to be carrying much at all - because almost every private business has in their rules or regulations a policy forbidding weapons on their property - if for no other reason than their damn insurance and liability lawyers dictate it. If you're worried about the feelings of others over physical security, that's a choice you alone have to make but realize that if you decide to disarm because you don't want to offend someone's sensibilities then you are decreasing your own security. We are still a relatively free country, so that's your own choice to make.

In a free society our rights constantly clash with the rights of others and you must make your own judgement calls on how to navigate in that environment.

Going armed during your life is in one way as simple or complicated as you choose to make it, and bears with it the greatest of responsibilities, because you literally are carrying death, life, and everything in between with you.

For those who don't believe they need to be armed in someone else's home I point out that home invasions are "a thing" to put it into modern speak. They are, if the media is at all accurate, on the increase. Violent criminals make no distinction between someone's home or business if they want to brutalize someone. Further - if you're entering the home of someone you don't know well - you don't know what that person is into that may make them a target for folks who would commit such acts - they could be dealing/storing/using drugs, they could have valuables that are common knowledge, they could have a stalker or have in some way offended someone who thinks that violence is the way to deal with it - you don't know.

A step further than that - say you're fine while you're at this person's home - you still must transit to and from your own castle keep, are you safe while travelling? What if your wife decides she's thirsty and wants to stop at that Plaid Pantry along the way? How about if your plans change and you wind up going out, instead of staying in at your host's home and now you find yourself out and about in public?

A rhetorical question - at what point do you decide that being armed and proactive in your own safety and security trumps the feelings or requests of others, or at what point do you give in to societal pressures to remain unarmed save for in your own home?

Respecting the rights of others is a two way street - and it's tough to balance your rights vs theirs and determine who's "rights" are more important, and what priority said rights take over one another. I'd say your right to walk down the street swinging your fists ends at my nose, but that's an obvious one. It is much harder to really determine where my right to be safe ends when dealing with property rights and civil law. If you request that I disarm - and I oblige - who is to blame should I be victimized while your guest? You - the one who asked me to disarm, or me, for being a willing participant? Both of us? Where does that liability start and stop? If I'm standing in line at the Stop & Rob and I obey that little circle-slash over a pistol, and some thug comes in and shoots me during the course of a robbery - who is liable?

Taking the extreme hard nose approach to it - the ultimate answer is "me" because I chose to go about, I chose to live a life outside the walls of a compound and interact with others. I chose to wake up instead of laying in bed. But we live in a society of people, where we interact with others routinely and frequent other folks homes, businesses, places of worship etc. Where is it OK to be armed without asking, and where is it not?

Your answers to those questions are yours and yours alone, but for some of us the answer is "everywhere." I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything but to question their own answers.

Personally - if I invite you into my home, I will not give you twenty questions about if you are armed or not. If I invite you in, I've already made a cursory judgement about you and deemed you at least conditionally worthy enough to be my guest. At that point, armed or not matters not, so long as you behave yourself and don't cause trouble. Trouble makers will be dealt with in the appropriate manner, be it being asked, or told, to leave on upto being shot if the situation warrants. I would hope my judgement is never so poor that I have an invited guest become a threat to my life, requiring me to use deadly force to protect myself and my family.

You have the God given right to protect yourself as you see fit, where and when you see fit. You also have the responsibility to be a good citizen, a good neighbor, and a good guest when and where appropriate.

Concealed means concealed as well - so if your method of carry does not lend itself to concealment then yes, you should re-evaluate either being armed, or your choice of arms, your holster, and your method of dress appropriately. And if you are discovered to be carrying a gun in a less-than-permissive environment be ready to deal with the fallout.

This has been an interesting conversation to read so far - good thoughts from many angles.

 

[Koda]

If you subscribe to the thought of having to ask permission every time you enter private property - that means either you're going to be handling your weapon a LOT, or not carry a gun a lot because you don't want to mess around with it, or you're going to be having a lot of awkward conversations.

When my pistol goes into it's holster in the morning, it doesn't come out until I get ready for bed at night. The last thing I want to be doing when I'm out in public is farting around taking my gun off and putting it back on - far too much unnecessary weapon handling, and leaving a weapon in a vehicle, which isn't optimal even if one has a gun vault in the truck. It increases the likelihood of accidental/negligent discharge, it increases the likelihood someone will see the gun and call the cops about a man with a gun, and does nothing to enhance your safety, or that of anyone else.

If you choose to leave it at home because you're going someplace that may or may not want you to be armed, chances are you're not going to be carrying much at all - because almost every private business has in their rules or regulations a policy forbidding weapons on their property - if for no other reason than their damn insurance and liability lawyers dictate it. If you're worried about the feelings of others over physical security, that's a choice you alone have to make but realize that if you decide to disarm because you don't want to offend someone's sensibilities then you are decreasing your own security. We are still a relatively free country, so that's your own choice to make.

In a free society our rights constantly clash with the rights of others and you must make your own judgement calls on how to navigate in that environment.

Going armed during your life is in one way as simple or complicated as you choose to make it, and bears with it the greatest of responsibilities, because you literally are carrying death, life, and everything in between with you.

For those who don't believe they need to be armed in someone else's home I point out that home invasions are "a thing" to put it into modern speak. They are, if the media is at all accurate, on the increase. Violent criminals make no distinction between someone's home or business if they want to brutalize someone. Further - if you're entering the home of someone you don't know well - you don't know what that person is into that may make them a target for folks who would commit such acts - they could be dealing/storing/using drugs, they could have valuables that are common knowledge, they could have a stalker or have in some way offended someone who thinks that violence is the way to deal with it - you don't know.

A step further than that - say you're fine while you're at this person's home - you still must transit to and from your own castle keep, are you safe while travelling? What if your wife decides she's thirsty and wants to stop at that Plaid Pantry along the way? How about if your plans change and you wind up going out, instead of staying in at your host's home and now you find yourself out and about in public?

A rhetorical question - at what point do you decide that being armed and proactive in your own safety and security trumps the feelings or requests of others, or at what point do you give in to societal pressures to remain unarmed save for in your own home?

Respecting the rights of others is a two way street - and it's tough to balance your rights vs theirs and determine who's "rights" are more important, and what priority said rights take over one another. I'd say your right to walk down the street swinging your fists ends at my nose, but that's an obvious one. It is much harder to really determine where my right to be safe ends when dealing with property rights and civil law. If you request that I disarm - and I oblige - who is to blame should I be victimized while your guest? You - the one who asked me to disarm, or me, for being a willing participant? Both of us? Where does that liability start and stop? If I'm standing in line at the Stop & Rob and I obey that little circle-slash over a pistol, and some thug comes in and shoots me during the course of a robbery - who is liable?

Taking the extreme hard nose approach to it - the ultimate answer is "me" because I chose to go about, I chose to live a life outside the walls of a compound and interact with others. I chose to wake up instead of laying in bed. But we live in a society of people, where we interact with others routinely and frequent other folks homes, businesses, places of worship etc. Where is it OK to be armed without asking, and where is it not?

Your answers to those questions are yours and yours alone, but for some of us the answer is "everywhere." I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything but to question their own answers.

Personally - if I invite you into my home, I will not give you twenty questions about if you are armed or not. If I invite you in, I've already made a cursory judgement about you and deemed you at least conditionally worthy enough to be my guest. At that point, armed or not matters not, so long as you behave yourself and don't cause trouble. Trouble makers will be dealt with in the appropriate manner, be it being asked, or told, to leave on upto being shot if the situation warrants. I would hope my judgement is never so poor that I have an invited guest become a threat to my life, requiring me to use deadly force to protect myself and my family.

You have the God given right to protect yourself as you see fit, where and when you see fit. You also have the responsibility to be a good citizen, a good neighbor, and a good guest when and where appropriate.

Concealed means concealed as well - so if your method of carry does not lend itself to concealment then yes, you should re-evaluate either being armed, or your choice of arms, your holster, and your method of dress appropriately. And if you are discovered to be carrying a gun in a less-than-permissive environment be ready to deal with the fallout.

This has been an interesting conversation to read so far - good thoughts from many angles.

Those are all good points and that is why I suggest to ask permission "whenever possible". There are safety reasons that mean its not always possible to ask, arming and disarming is extra handling of the gun and a safety factor plus temporary storage options are not always available... Then there is the issue of simple privacy that means its not always possible to ask permission to carry... just like seeing a no guns sign at a store thats open to the public. Concealed means more than just not printing, it means keeping your choice to carry private... which can also be a safety reason... you might also be in the company of an acquaintance or others unexpectedly.

All that said, the main thing is to use your judgment to always give the home owner as much respect as possible, which is why my motto is to always ask "whenever possible". Its worth repeating that if I'm not comfortable asking (new acquaintances...) then out of respect I will make plans to either leave the gun at home or have a way to secure it nearby (usually car) while visiting... "whenever possible". The idea here is to always respect the home owner regardless of their politics. Even if this means you couldn't ask and in the end if it became an issue you can honestly say you did everything to respect the person and thats what matters in the end.

 

[Walton Feep]

My house, my rules. Not my house, not my rules. When in doubt, ask.

 

[dobeman]

I informed my hosts that I had a Python in my pants. They said "giggity". true story

With the likes of Pythons, the price of admission to my house is to see and hold it. The gun.

 

[Flopsweat]

I used to feel like I should ask, but I don't even think about it anymore. I'm either welcome or I'm not. Would you tell every homeowner if you have formal Karate training? Do you tell them you have a lighter in your pocket, or a knife? I don't. Live and let live.

If I'm ever actually asked if I'm carrying, I'll answer honestly. If that answer means that I'm no longer welcome there, so be it. I'll leave in as polite a manner as I can. Live and let live.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

I don't know anyone who looks down upon me carrying.

That said.... I've been poked a few times out at my dads when I've had my pistol on my hip. Typically it's covered up 100% and nobody is the wiser so it's a moot point. Everybody I know is aware I carry... I think.

It's a part of me, it's an inantimate object incapable of moving on its own. So if you know me, you know you have no problem.

My sister in law expects it. She has a crazy brother and has asked me a few times when we go for dinner "can you..." and I'm happy oblige.

I hear you Dyjital, we have a long term friend who was marrying an Asian man. On the day before the wedding she asked me if I would, please, be armed. Her brother was a crazy, right wing, racist, pig! And she was afraid that he would do something nuts!
She thanked me and even sent me a nice card, told her I would have been carrying anyway!
BTW, The brothers dead and it could hardly have happened to a more deserving fellow.

PS, Tony, the Chinese guy from Vietnam, that our friend married is a great guy! He was in the ARVN for 12 years and has some crazy, awful, bullet wounds!

 

[teflon6string]

...
If I'm ever actually asked if I'm carrying, I'll answer honestly. If that answer means that I'm no longer welcome there, so be it. I'll leave in as polite a manner as I can. Live and let live.

While I'd never volunteer it, that's my policy as well Flop.

I mentioned this in a different thread once before, and it occurs to me again now:

Jamming with some rock musicians years ago, one of the players brought up another mutual hobby - weapons. The third guy, our host, was plainly naïve about gun ownership and visibly surprised to find himself in the presence of not one, but two, gun owners! Genuinely curious, he asked why anyone might feel the need to be armed. My new 2A buddy gave the best answer I ever heard, before or since...

"It's my responsibility."

 

[Alexx1401]

My wife used to feel the need to tell people that I had a gun on me...even would at times ask me to take it off in areas that were legal to carry -but because the policy forebode the possession of weapons- she would ask me to not carry the firearm in.

I have had to have several looong talks with the wife about the fact that I will always carry a firearm to ensure the safety of myself and her (especially since we now have kids) and that I really don't care how anyone feels about it.

Do you tell people that you have a knife in your pocket? Then why would you tell anyone that you carry a gun (unless you are including them with some type of emergency response plan)?

To me there is no such thing as a place I don't need one. Crime happens everywhere and I don't feel like becoming a statistic. I have always carried at the job. Some it would have meant getting fired. I figured only way they would know is if I defended my life. In that case I'm alive and was looking for a job when I found that one. Never pushed it hard on others. Figured it's their choice and the bad people have to eat too.

 

[Caveman Jim]

I would not say anything, no matter what their stance on guns is.
Concealed is concealed, and no one else's business but my own.

^^^^^^^^^^
This right here!!!! I'm sure if there was a home invasion at that time I'm sure they would be thankful that a guy with a gun saved their bacon.....

 

[teflon6string]

^^^^^^^^^^
This right here!!!! I'm sure if there was a home invasion at that time I'm sure they would be thankful that a guy with a gun saved their bacon.....

YES!!!
Always save the bacon!

 

[Flopsweat]

YES!!!
Always save the bacon!

Without the bacon, what would you do with the eggs!

 

[Riot]

To me there is no such thing as a place I don't need one. Crime happens everywhere and I don't feel like becoming a statistic. I have always carried at the job. Some it would have meant getting fired. I figured only way they would know is if I defended my life. In that case I'm alive and was looking for a job when I found that one. Never pushed it hard on others. Figured it's their choice and the bad people have to eat too.