Bowel movements

[Dungannon]

 

[Dungannon]

 

[Dungannon]

 

[JustShoot]

Can Fritz Crap in your Thread ?
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[nammac]

Does just having to go through the pre colonoscopy preparation count.

Those are brutal... Makes the ole anus ache... And that's before the procedure...

 

[Joe13]

Well, this is a sh!tty thread

 

[Diamondback]

Well, this is a sh!tty thread

Absolutely ASSinine... but fun in a juvenile, smirking-even-though-you-shouldn't way.

 

[nammac]

I see how it is, y'all talking crap now, huh???

That's really stinks...

 

[Diamondback]

At least we're not farting out our mouths like some political types.

 

[Joe13]

Does just having to go through the pre colonoscopy preparation count.

That's in my top 3 worst experiences (especially with my gut issues).

Pretty sure I put finger imprints on the seat to keep me on the pot.

Got tired of walking back and forth from the bed and bathroom so I gave up and started sleeping on the bathroom floor like a drunk....

 

[Brutus57]

I didn't condone it but an officer senior to me in one unit I was in would always preface a trip to the head with, "Excuse me, but I've gotta go build a marine."

When my dad needed to take a pizz he'd sometimes announce to my mother he was "going to go shake hands with the unemployed"....As an airline pilot he heard and passed on some hilarious jokes. Another one was if someone told dad they were going to the ladies or mens restroom he would ask: "How much do you weigh in case we have to dig you out?"

I sure miss him, he was a terrific man. Hardworking, funny, generous, smart, helluva hunter, too. WWII vet, a logger with a high school education who worked his way up from whistlepunk to A&E mechanic to 727 Captain, a real prince of a guy.

Brutus Out

 

[Brutus57]

Forgive me.

View attachment 313282

You are forgiven.....

 

[jbett98]

You want to hear about my little screw up. I got the dates wrong when I was suppose to start taking the bowel cleansing medicine for a colonoscopy.
I almost took it two days ahead of my colonoscopy, not the day before, and if it wasn't for my wife who reread the instructions, I would have had to do it two days in a row.

 

[Brutus57]

Can Fritz Crap in your Thread ?
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View attachment 313290

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They killed Fritz! Those LOUSY fricking fracking fairies killed Fritz!!!

Brutus Out

 

[Brutus57]

Absolutely ASSinine... but fun in a juvenile, smirking-even-though-you-shouldn't way.

Yes, it has reached rock bottom!

Brutus Out

 

[Joe13]

True story's!and some of the best I have involving other people's kids.

#1
We vistited some friends for dinner and after dinner we got set to play some cards and we were staying quiet because whatever we were discussing was not kid friendly, as often happened lol.

From down the hall their 4 year old announces from the toilet loud enough for us to clearly hear, "I am the poop lord!! You will obey me!".

The ladies thought it was funny. My buddy and I had tears running we were laughing so hard.


#2
Other friends, but younger kid that could do the potty thing but still needed help.

Yells from down the hall ,"Daddy! I have spicy poopy!!".

Again I was in tears from laughing so hard.



I still tosse those lines out on occasion 15+ years later and it still makes me chuckle.

 

[Ura-Ki]

Dad used to announce he was going to depth charge the Nazi's, Jap's or Ruskies! Mid way through he would yell "Roll Another Spread" Us kids would always laugh hard!

 

[OutlawHoss]

What is considered perfect pitch on a banjo?
Being able to toss it in the crapper without hitting the rim.

I play dobro so we like to give the banjo pickers a hard time.
That's all I gots for now!

 

[Ura-Ki]

Hey Hoss,Love me some Resonator!

 

[No_Regerts]

The way my butthole feels after eating Thai food.