best conceal carry with low recoil?

[Just Me]

Sounds like you are on the right track as far as knowing that your current weapon is not ideal for your needs/desires. I would suggest just shooting a lot of different guns until you find what you like. If nothing else, it will be fun.

 

[Otter]

Be sure to check out the Bersa Thunder .380 ACP. I think you will like the way it fits your small hands. It weighs enough to moderate the mild recoil of the .380 ACP and is quite accurate. Might be hard to find right now as most other firearms, but worth the wait. The .380 has decent one shot stopping power, but if that is a concern you might be better served with a 9mm. If you can shoot accurately, which is easy to do with a .380 due to the mild recoil, I would not be concerned about the disadvantage of the .380 compared to the 9mm.

 

[Rotty]

If in doubt, you can always go to ranges that rent firearms and try them, before you buy.

I went to the range so I could get a feel of several different hand guns of various calibers and sizes before deciding to go with my XDm 45. It worked well for me.

 

[RifleEnthusiast]

CZ Custom has a custom carry model of a CZ 75 SP-01 Shadow (named something differently though), I think it's all steel, but in a smaller frame, if you don't mind the weight, it's a great little gun.