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As the World Turns

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by isher, Nov 16, 2009.

  1. isher

    isher Clallam County Member

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    I apologize up front, for this may be just a tad offtopic.

    But it is just too D...m funny.

    And you would be surprised, onct thinking about it

    How much it has to do with Survival.

    "FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

    DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

    PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

    REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

    BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

    PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

    LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons."


    isher
     
  2. Just Jim

    Just Jim Well-Known Member

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    Are you asking which system can people who want to work for themselve can survive in?

    jj
     
  3. Sun195

    Sun195 Pugetropolis, WA Well-Known Member

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    Probably belongs in "off topic" - moved.
     
  4. ZeroRing

    ZeroRing 26th District, WA Active Member

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    :funnypoint:
     
  5. bugeye

    bugeye Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Realism: You have two cows, they need to be milked twice a day and kept inseminated, you can't ever get away, they poop and you have to shovel it out, they need to be fenced in, and they will eat just about anything including every kind of deadly substance known, and when they step on your foot you have to beat the heck out of them just to get them to move, and you have to grow corn and oats and hay for them to eat and you have to store it, and the tractor won't start, and the disk gets stuck in the mud, and the rains don't come, and the ......

    Sorry, I grew up on a dairy farm.
    Steak is the best revenge!
     
  6. isher

    isher Clallam County Member

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    Bugeye -

    You didn't mention the joys of hand milking.

    Many years ago - my first real job -

    Was a hand on a midsized family farm.

    Alfalfa and hay and beef cattle,

    And a biggish chickenhouse.

    Plus a dozen brown swiss, hand milked

    Every day at o dark thirty, at both ends of the day.

    Bag Balm Rules!


    isher


    isher
     
  7. Just Jim

    Just Jim Well-Known Member

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    :D obey

    jj
     
  8. ak56

    ak56 Carnation, Wa Active Member

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    ...and then the dinosaurs came, but they got too big and fat, so they all died and they turned into oil. And then the Arabs came and they bought Mercedes Benzes. And Prince Charles started wearing all of Lady Di's clothes. I couldn't believe it.
     
  9. Cougfan2

    Cougfan2 Hillsboro, OR Well-Known Member

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    GM cow care.

    You have two cows you are losing money on. The govt purchases a 51% share in your cows using money they took from your neighbors, then decide you aren't managing the cows properly and fires you.
     
  10. raindog

    raindog Portland, OR Active Member

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    10 points for best obscure reference ;-):thumbup: