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Are you a Redneck..........

Discussion in 'Legal & Political Archive' started by zeezee, Jan 6, 2011.

  1. zeezee

    zeezee nowheresville Member

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    You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to
    be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God..'

    You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing
    the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

    You might be a redneck if: You still say ' Christmas'
    instead of 'Winter Festival.'

    You might be a redneck if: You bow your head when
    someone prays.

    You might be a redneck if: You stand and place your
    hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem

    You might be a redneck if: You treat our armed forces
    veterans with great respect, and always have.

    You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
    American flag, nor intend to.

    You might be a redneck if: You know what you believe
    and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

    You might be a redneck if: You respect your elders and
    raised your kids to do the same.

    You might be a redneck if: You'd give your last dollar to
    a friend.

    Come on, lets hear who here is a REDNECK!!!!!

    Here is your chance to join us other Rednecks with our very own American Redneck Society;

    http://www.americanrednecksociety.com/
     
  2. BigCat

    BigCat Portland Member

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    For 1-4, it's more like, "You might be a Baptist Christian if...".
     
  3. keystir

    keystir Hillsboro, OR Active Member

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    No thanks.

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQJEHkA3L4PzrP23UtBR9FLHF2dbJciB0nRw2vdhWF3-s_u-L8cTA.jpg
     
  4. MarkAd

    MarkAd Port Orchard Well-Known Member

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    In my case there is no MIGHT BE.
    I am PROUDLY a TRUE AMERICAN REDNECK.

    And BigCat what does 1- 4 have to do with beng a Baptist or a christain?
     
  5. Benny503

    Benny503 Grants Pass Well-Known Member

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    Wow... I didnt know I am a redneck until I read this.
     
  6. rpatton

    rpatton Graham WA Member

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    I agree with all but this needs to be edited with "in protest" right after the word flag...only because burning happens to be the proper way to "retire" an american flag.
     
  7. BigCat

    BigCat Portland Member

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    Okay, 1-3. I kind of just included 4 for fun.
     
  8. spengo

    spengo GLORIOUS CASCADIA Active Member

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    Uh... most of those don't have anything to do with my picture of a redneck. Seems to me to have a lot more to do with religion or patriotism.

    Well except for one--the flag burning. I suppose some of the less intelligent rednecks may not know that burning the American flag is the only respectful way to dispose of one. In fact, if you have a flag that is worn and tattered the most respectful thing to do is to destroy it by burning it.
     
  9. Ben Beckerich

    Ben Beckerich NW Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    big "+1"

    i can answer yes to all of these (see below for flag burning issue), but i do NOT consider myself "redneck," and am sort of offended somebody would throw me in with that lot simply because i'm a God fearing, patriotic American.

    nothing against "rednecks," i'm just not one.


    indeed... but there's a very specific and proper way to do it. i haven't ever, but i have an ever growing box of tri-folded flags that i will someday have a flag retiring ceremony, or maybe just get lazy and give them all to the American Legion, which will properly retire flags for free.
     
  10. rpatton

    rpatton Graham WA Member

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  11. MA Duce

    MA Duce Central Oregon Well-Known Member

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    Well dang, I was doing good until this part:

    You might be a redneck if: You've never burned an
    American flag, nor intend to.

    I have participated in burning three. For some reason when the Coast Guard cutter I was on made winter patrols in the Bering Sea our flags just got ripped to ****.
     
  12. elsullo

    elsullo Portland Oregon New Member

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    Who are you to try to define "rednecks" as conservative Christians and heartfelt patriots? You seem to be trying to attach your personal religious beliefs to American patriotism, and you imply that only "rednecks" can be patriotic. Sorry, but America includes ALL kinds of religious beliefs, or no beliefs as all if you wish, and that is exactly why we should feel patriotic towards it! Odd also, is how "redneck" Christianity seems to exclude the Gospel books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John, but relishes Revelations, which was added much later by clerics who never knew Jesus or his disciples.

    The traditional understanding of "rednecks" has much more to do with beer than Bible, and somehow links Nascar racing to "Americanism" and flag-waving. Methamphetamine use is more closely linked to "rednecks" than the Pledge of Alliegance. And the Confederate flag of slavery and neo-apartheid is more common than the American flag to the traditional definition of "redneck." Yee-haw!

    For what it is worth, I was raised as a Christian and used to teach Sunday School; I get teary-eyed at all patriotic memorials; I still own a flag and when I had a house flew it full time, illuminated at night, and only took it in for hard rain; I worked a physical, outdoor career and had a sunburned neck half of the year.

    Dang, I wish I could remember the name of the journalist who coined the phrase, "When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."..........................elsullo
     
  13. i8asquirrel

    i8asquirrel Keizer, oregon Member

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    YES and proud of it:thumbup:
     
  14. ConditionOrange

    ConditionOrange Oregon Member

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    Regardless of what my feeling on this post are, I feel it's just going to lead to people insulting one another's beliefs...
     
  15. MarkAd

    MarkAd Port Orchard Well-Known Member

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    FOr all the fun we are havin with "redneck" it means far more then most of you understand. I watched a dcumentary twice to be sure I understood, hoiw and why the term redneck came to be and then I checked some of the sources to be sure what was said was true. After getting the true historical understand of the term redneck I felt even better being one.

    "Dang, I wish I could remember the name of the journalist who coined the phrase, "When fascism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross."..........................elsullo "
    You can be sure it will'nt be a redneck carring it
     
  16. zeezee

    zeezee nowheresville Member

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    Yes, that is the proper way to retire an American flag but it is usually done with love and respect and not the hate and contempt that is the intention of this post. Good catch.:thumbup:
     
  17. eriknemily

    eriknemily Tillamook County (Cheese!) Member

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    I think the thread was started in a light hearted manner. I don't think the OP's intention was to start a debate.

    If I had some good redneck jokes I'd add mine but i can't think of any right now.
     
  18. Ben Beckerich

    Ben Beckerich NW Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    i did mow my lawn and find a car, once. literally.
     
  19. BigCat

    BigCat Portland Member

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    lulz.
     
  20. keystir

    keystir Hillsboro, OR Active Member

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    I think you are grossly mistaken. You probably just don't see the really obnoxious incendiary threads from this OP before they are deleted. But since we are all in such a jolly lighthearted joking mood I'll add a few more:

    You might be a conservative if...

    * You think "proletariat" is a type of cheese.
    * You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
    * You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"
    * You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.
    * You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
    * You call mall rent-a-cops "jack-booted thugs."
    * You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
    * You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bubblegumes."
    * You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Tootsie."
    * You answer to "The Man."
    * You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
    * You fax the FBI a list of "Commies in my Neighborhood."
    * You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you suspect Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
    * You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit...
    * You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
    * You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values."
    * When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
    * You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
    * You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home.
    * Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
    * You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America.
    * You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
    * You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bubblegum" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
    * You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."
    * You've ever called education a luxury.
    * You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
    * You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
    * You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
    * You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
    * You're afraid of the "liberal media."
    * You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
    * You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers.
    * You think all artists are gay.
    * You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."
    * You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes.
    * You confuse Lenin with Lennon.