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Any advice on helping my mom get over the fact that her son owns guns?

Discussion in 'General Firearm Discussion' started by schibbyzoltan, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. schibbyzoltan

    schibbyzoltan Seattle, WA Member

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    I feel stupid for asking, but there's a limited amount of people to ask. So for background, I am 19 years old. I hold a full time job in retail whilst going to college. I live at home with my mom, dad, and grandmother. I've been shooting guns for quite some time. Bought my first rifle, a Weatherby Vanguard .270, about two years ago. Over time I have acquired some more guns. One, being a handgun. Now, I do all the safety precautions to the T. I keep all of my guns in a bolted down safe that only I and my dad know the combination to. I store my ammo on the top shelf. I have trigger locks on the guns as well except for my security shotgun. The magazines are always unloaded. She recently found out about the handgun. She was not a happy camper. We had spoken about it months ago that she'd be fine if I had a safe and followed safety precautions. She has totally forgotten that conversation and is now very upset with the fact. When asked, she said, "Im not worried about you having it. I'm worried about others." Which I have no idea what that means. So if you have been in a similar situation in the slightest or have dealt with something like this, please post. My dad is alright with having it but she's just not having any of it at all.
     
  2. DieselScout

    DieselScout S Clackamas County Well-Known Member

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    I don't think it an argument your going to win. Have you considered taking her shooting? I don't advocate lying but the last resort maybe telling her you sold it then keep it out is sight.
     
  3. drew

    drew OR Well-Known Member

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    If you go with the lying route, make really sure she won't discover it. That probably would end very badly.

    Glad I never had to deal with this scenario.
     
  4. coop44

    coop44 Tacoma ,WA Well-Known Member

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    I'm 58, mom is 89, she has never gotten over it. She'll stand in the kitchen sharpening her knives, she owns way too many knives, I've never gotten that either.

    I tried to teach her to drive, once. I can only imagine how teaching her how to shoot would go.
     
  5. BAMCIS

    BAMCIS Eugene Well-Known Member

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    Well when my wife said I fished to much I got a new wife who says we don't fish enough and asks if we should get another Ed Brown or perhaps go with a Wilson Combat. But you can't do that with a mother.

    Seriously, I think this is a no win situation for you. You can try to explain that it is the right and responsibility of every free citizen to know how to shoot and shoot well. You can try to explain some of the historical aspects behind the second ammendment, but it is doubtful she will understand as it sounds like she has made a decision on an emotional level that all guns are bad. So you may be left with only attempting to reassure her that she raised her son right and that YOU are a RESPONSIBLE gun owner. If she is indeed worried of your gun(s) falling into the wrong hands then maybe you can try to talk her into buying you a decent gun safe.
     
  6. DieselScout

    DieselScout S Clackamas County Well-Known Member

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    You're suggesting he divorce his mom? :D
     
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  7. deen_ad

    deen_ad Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    My wife was totally against guns. Finally got she and her daughter to go to an NRA Womans only class. They had a great time. Now she still isn't real interested in guns but also realizes I'm carrying anytime I'm out of bed. Still trying to get her out shooting again but in the meantime her daughter died and my wife says it wouldn't be the same without Dana along.
     
  8. Matt15

    Matt15 Maple valley Member

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    I was in a similar situation that you are in, both of my parents were not happy that I owned guns. I eventually took my father shooting and he has become much more open to the fact that they are in the house and although he suggested I get a safe, he also suggested I keep one in my bed side table at night. My mother, on the other hand, is still not comfortable around guns but has gotten over the fact that I have them, I just don't bring them out around her or let her see them.
     
  9. lazerblazer

    lazerblazer Portland Active Member

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    Sounds like you need to grow up and move out! Their house their rules end of story. My next question is why are you spending extra money on guns when you should be supporting yourself? Sounds like you missed a crucial conversation with your folks down the line about responsibility.

    -LazerBlazeR
     
  10. Sgt Nambu

    Sgt Nambu Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Tell your mom that you will help her seek counseling, because you can tell that she has an irrational fear of firearms!

    Then move out!
     
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  11. Doublejack

    Doublejack Maple Valley, WA New Member

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    Pretty much what Lazer said

    You know the severity of the situation more than anyone else does.

    If this issue is causing daily stress on your family or if it's causing your parents to argue more with each other then it's definitely time to either move out ( I know it's not that easy these days ) or follow your mothers wishes.

    If it's only coming up every few weeks or a month and it's a somewhat mild conversation then you might be able to let it slide.

    .. but if you've got people crying and bubblegum up in there then you should really let it go. Let a friend hang on to it or sell it and buy a new handgun when you move out.
     
  12. PuddleMonkey

    PuddleMonkey Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    kick her out
     
  13. Solomon

    Solomon Vancouver Active Member

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    Her house, her rules. The 2nd amendment protects you from rights violations from the government, not from your mother.
     
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  14. Burt Gummer

    Burt Gummer Portland Completely Out of Ammo

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    If you plan on continuing to live there I would give up the handgun. Respect your mother's wishes while you are living under her roof.

    If you have your own car, get a secured lock box and keep it in the car. You don't even need a CHL if you do it that way.
     
  15. clambo

    clambo Vancouver, Wa. Well-Known Member

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    Get real. It sounds to me like the kid is doing a pretty good job of building a decent life for himself. His post drips responsibility. His mother said she would be " fine " with his guns so long as he followed good safety precautions. He did. There was no mention by mom of a handgun being a deal breaker. Suddenly, mom changes her mind without explanation as they sometimes ( often ) do. I didn't read where there was any lying going on.

    He's working a job and going to school. I wish my kid did half of that. I see his options as these: A. Get rid of his guns. Nope. B. Maybe move them off site till he's out of the house. Possibility. C. Tell Mom to stick it and drive on. Probably not the best idea for a host of reasons. D. Move out. Maybe, maybe not. Probably be best to finish school first...why ruin something that's gonna really help him in life by overloading the financial cart. I'm sure his retail job doesn't pay all that well.

    I guess if it were me, I would grudgingly move my guns somewhere else for awhile. Finish school. Move out when you can genuinely afford to do that and not have to live like a pauper. That's your best bet I think. Kudos on your work ethic, your safety mindedness, your willingness to bend a little, and your growing gun collection. Don't know what kind of pistol you bought but your .270 Vanguard is a great first choice.
     
  16. lazerblazer

    lazerblazer Portland Active Member

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    You sir just don't get it no wonder why you wish your kid did half of what he's doing. If you are staying home to save money while you better yourself which is great, you should probably just save your money. Why not pay down those school loans quicker, save that money for a deposit for your own place. I highly doubt his mother was really willing to let him have the guns in the first place if so this would be a non issue. That's as real as it gets!

    -LazerBlazeR
     
  17. biggie24420

    biggie24420 Beaverton Oregon Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if your mom watches too much brainwash news but it sounds like she is buying into the crap they air on TV. As far as living home, do what you gotta do but I guess that is part of your problem. I ain't judging you just because you live at home. A lot of folks older than you still live at home. But you sound like you are on a good path and taking care of business by having a job, a car (assuming you have a car), and going to school. it maybe easy for some of us on here to just say MOVE OUT AND GROW UP..... but whatever.

    You can ask mom to sit down and have an adult conversation. Be calm, hear her side and make sure she listens to your side of the story. Things can get stressful and voices may be raised but as long as you guys set some rules.... it might be a good thing to have an honest talk. You should both be open minded and try to see if you can meet halfway. Obviously you aren't gonna have things go totally your way and moms usually don't back down lol.

    If she is willing to watch how you handle your guns and how you go about securing them, she might learn something. If you can go shooting, even better. Do some research and help her understand how it's our duty as citizens to be educated and armed. Find out if she had a bad experience or if it's just group think that makes her behave the way she is behaving.

    I have had a similar experience with my mom.... she would freak out over me having an AK and she would associate that with the bad guys and she assumed that it was a fully automatic rifle. She at one point thought that it was illegal to own a black rifle. Why should civilians own automatic rifles? she said. You don't hunt with it, you don't use it for self defense like a pistol on and on. It took some time for her to understand that it was a passion of mine and that as long as the government gets to have guns, that I was gonna have my own. I had to explain to her that if the Jews had guns, they wouldn't end up in ovens! I had to explain to her that there is a reason why the government wants to take our guns. If the black folks had guns back in the day, they wouldn't be slaves and treated like animals.

    It took some time and I think she finally got the picture. Much like me, my mom has seen the dark side of humanity. I explained to her that it's my life, it's my responsibility to defend me and mine. Sometimes when police are needed in an emergency that might be over in seconds, they are minutes away. I had made it very clear to my mom that I am a good person and that I hope I never have to use lethal force on another human or animal.... but I would stand my ground like a wounded animal and fight to the end..... when justified.... when all else fails and I have no other option and when my life is in danger, I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN! there was no winning on her end and she finally realized that.

    I was born in Iran and I came here when I was ten years old. We as a family got to see some bad stuff over there. My mom remembers and lived through the revolution (the Shah) and she saw how unarmed civilians were killed. So I asked her if it would have been different if the civilians had guns to protect themselves against a BS government.
    Now we are US citizens and I explained to her that it's my duty and obligation as a free individual and an American to bear arms. And that there is a reason for the 2nd amendment. It's not for hunting, it's not for shooting paper targets..... but to keep the tyrannical gobbment in check should they choose to come kick your door down.


    Good luck man! I hope you guys meet halfway and work something out. Education is the key and hopefully mom will see that you are a responsible young man and not her little boy who might hurt himself with a gun. After all, that car (assuming you have or access to a car) she is ok with you having, that thing is capable of taking lives if not respected ;)
     
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  18. etrain16

    etrain16 Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Mothers worry, that's just what they do. My wife likes to shoot and has her own handgun, but when it comes to our daughter, she doesn't even like talking about guns around her. I've made it clear I have every intention of beginning firearm training with my daughter as soon as she's old enough to handle an airsoft gun safely and clearly understand the rules. From there we'll move up to bb guns and eventually a .22 (I plan to buy her her first gun). I told her there is no way I'm not going to be responsible and teach my daughter to respect and handle firearms safely - whether she's going out to shoot or she encounters a firearm while around her friends.

    As for me, my mother doesn't like guns. I'm in my 40's now, and owning firearms is my business. She tolerates the fact that we own them and honestly has no idea that I conceal carry at their house when we visit - and she'll never know unless I have to use it for protection. I think it's just a mother thing. They want to keep their babies protected. My mother felt the same about motorcycles and a few other things. They will never stop worrying when it comes to their kids.
     
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  19. jluck

    jluck Really,Really, Close to Newport Oregon 97365 Voted #1 Member

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    If your mother is like mine, All serious conversations are done before noon. That helps with remembering later on...:drunk:
     
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  20. Taurus 617 CCW

    Taurus 617 CCW Northern Idaho Member

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    I suggest taking her to a firearms introduction class. She most likely has a negative attitude toward firearms because of what T.V. has said, or simply because they are a big mystery. Knowledge is the best way to eliminate fear of something unknown.
     
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