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Dear Sir/Sirs/Madam,
I sincerely wish that I could say that I hope this letter finds you well. However, that would be a wholly inadequate expression of my sentiments towards your person(s) at this time. At some point last night, you broke into my tidy, if rather beleaguered, car; you tossed it to the point of untidiness and with - I must admit - some semblance of methodism if not professionalism, and I find I am tempted to complement you on your Slim-Jim™ usage, which was the cleanest I have ever seen. However, you procured numerous trivial items, along with a handgun that belonged to me.
While I could point out several issues of contention I may have with such behavior, I am intelligent enough an individual to realize that such proclamations would serve neither yourself nor me any good at the day's end. Instead, there are a few things I would like to thank you for - I do hope that while/if reading my thanks, you keep in mind that 'thank' in this instance is a word interchangeable with another which begins with an F and rhymes with our local university's mascot.
First, and foremost, thank you for reminding every gun owner in Oregon and the world that the one time you are complacent about security is the one time that your security will be breached, a basic component of Murphy's law. I am forced to admit to myself, as one who has always considered themselves a safe and responsible gun owner, that I was neither of those things. It is profoundly humbling, and a valuable lesson.
Second, thank you for reminding me that no garage, no amount of interior lighting, posted security patrols and video surveillance is a substitute for physical exertion, and again, complacency - just because I was tired from the drive back from Wyoming I had just made and had already made the trip up the numerous floors to my domicile does not excuse my lack of the fourth and final trip - no matter how I may have rationalized it at the time.
Third, thank you for showing me the value of straight, rather than T shaped, locks. I have never felt a three digit expense feel so inexpensive as I did today when I took care of that.
In addition, I must, thank you for removing all of my receipts and my cigarette carton from the door panel cargo area. I am sure you got a kick out of my pathetic account balances, but more importantly you took a step towards fighting cancer by reminding me in my review of said to realize how much I was spending on cigarettes and coffee rather than a solid lock system and a loud car alarm. You may be assured that I learned well from this lesson.
Finally, thank you for for leaving my calculator alone after pawing it. I hope that between the usage you appear to have gotten out of it, and the borders gift card that you procured from my glove box, that your educational life will be enriched 10{squared}(7•π/.5)to-the-eighth-power fold. Or whatever.
Because of my enriched level of self actualization via your rather repugnant and lazy occupational predilictions, I would extend the offer to you to return those things which you procured from my automobile no-questions-asked, for a limited time.
Knowing, however, that this is futile - I would instead point you towards Torah, the delicious history and law of my people. It is written in halachic (law) that there are seven forms of geneiva - that is, theft. The most grievous are the theft of life, the theft of mind, and the theft of property. It strikes me that you have potentially, by your choice of procurements, committed all three. I encourage you to study Torah to learn the good and natural punishments that come naturally with all of the above.
Shalom,
SCTSQRL
--------------
Yes, I made some stupid mistakes this last evening - which negligence lead to a handgun being stolen from my vehicle along with some other things. The crime was committed here in Eugene, in an ostensibly secured-access garage. There is some confusion about SN issues, because Mazama apparently has changed hands since the time I made the transfer of the weapon there. The firearm in question was a star firestar m45, Starvel finished, with all OEM parts. Please be on the lookout for this gun - I will update this thread with a solid SN when the ATF gets back to me or I know a little more. Relevant pictures showing the weapon and some of it's distinguishing features are in the classifieds section.
If there is an FFL here who could PM me who has tracked down obscure date before, or anyone who knows star pistols or interarms imports well, I would appreciate it.
Lessons learned:
"If a thief goes into a tunnel, but does not leave the tunnel, he has no blood rights."
Unless the jellybean who did this does something REALLY stupid, which I pray he does not, I wish him two long and wonderful rides in the near future. One involves a TASER, the other a Crown Victoria.
Any advice on the matter from other victims of firearms theft/mysterious boating accidents/etc? I have conducted the LE end of things, which may be moving somewhere, but I have not even begun to think about the insurance end of the issue.
EDIT:
SERIAL # is 2055407. If you see this gun, it is HOT. And not only that, it's stolen. Ahar har. Please be aware.
I sincerely wish that I could say that I hope this letter finds you well. However, that would be a wholly inadequate expression of my sentiments towards your person(s) at this time. At some point last night, you broke into my tidy, if rather beleaguered, car; you tossed it to the point of untidiness and with - I must admit - some semblance of methodism if not professionalism, and I find I am tempted to complement you on your Slim-Jim™ usage, which was the cleanest I have ever seen. However, you procured numerous trivial items, along with a handgun that belonged to me.
While I could point out several issues of contention I may have with such behavior, I am intelligent enough an individual to realize that such proclamations would serve neither yourself nor me any good at the day's end. Instead, there are a few things I would like to thank you for - I do hope that while/if reading my thanks, you keep in mind that 'thank' in this instance is a word interchangeable with another which begins with an F and rhymes with our local university's mascot.
First, and foremost, thank you for reminding every gun owner in Oregon and the world that the one time you are complacent about security is the one time that your security will be breached, a basic component of Murphy's law. I am forced to admit to myself, as one who has always considered themselves a safe and responsible gun owner, that I was neither of those things. It is profoundly humbling, and a valuable lesson.
Second, thank you for reminding me that no garage, no amount of interior lighting, posted security patrols and video surveillance is a substitute for physical exertion, and again, complacency - just because I was tired from the drive back from Wyoming I had just made and had already made the trip up the numerous floors to my domicile does not excuse my lack of the fourth and final trip - no matter how I may have rationalized it at the time.
Third, thank you for showing me the value of straight, rather than T shaped, locks. I have never felt a three digit expense feel so inexpensive as I did today when I took care of that.
In addition, I must, thank you for removing all of my receipts and my cigarette carton from the door panel cargo area. I am sure you got a kick out of my pathetic account balances, but more importantly you took a step towards fighting cancer by reminding me in my review of said to realize how much I was spending on cigarettes and coffee rather than a solid lock system and a loud car alarm. You may be assured that I learned well from this lesson.
Finally, thank you for for leaving my calculator alone after pawing it. I hope that between the usage you appear to have gotten out of it, and the borders gift card that you procured from my glove box, that your educational life will be enriched 10{squared}(7•π/.5)to-the-eighth-power fold. Or whatever.
Because of my enriched level of self actualization via your rather repugnant and lazy occupational predilictions, I would extend the offer to you to return those things which you procured from my automobile no-questions-asked, for a limited time.
Knowing, however, that this is futile - I would instead point you towards Torah, the delicious history and law of my people. It is written in halachic (law) that there are seven forms of geneiva - that is, theft. The most grievous are the theft of life, the theft of mind, and the theft of property. It strikes me that you have potentially, by your choice of procurements, committed all three. I encourage you to study Torah to learn the good and natural punishments that come naturally with all of the above.
Shalom,
SCTSQRL
--------------
Yes, I made some stupid mistakes this last evening - which negligence lead to a handgun being stolen from my vehicle along with some other things. The crime was committed here in Eugene, in an ostensibly secured-access garage. There is some confusion about SN issues, because Mazama apparently has changed hands since the time I made the transfer of the weapon there. The firearm in question was a star firestar m45, Starvel finished, with all OEM parts. Please be on the lookout for this gun - I will update this thread with a solid SN when the ATF gets back to me or I know a little more. Relevant pictures showing the weapon and some of it's distinguishing features are in the classifieds section.
If there is an FFL here who could PM me who has tracked down obscure date before, or anyone who knows star pistols or interarms imports well, I would appreciate it.
Lessons learned:
- Take your crap out of your car - not just most of it, all of it.
- It's been said before, but sense of security is no excuse for complacency.
- While some may debate the effectiveness of car alarms, it would have made a difference in this situation for reasons I will not disclose due to PERSEC. This fact has been noted.
- Write down your SNs and keep them where you KNOW they are. If you always always always do, but for some reason choose not to label some of them, like I may have done here, get head examined for both idiocy and headache. Both are likely.
"If a thief goes into a tunnel, but does not leave the tunnel, he has no blood rights."
Unless the jellybean who did this does something REALLY stupid, which I pray he does not, I wish him two long and wonderful rides in the near future. One involves a TASER, the other a Crown Victoria.
Any advice on the matter from other victims of firearms theft/mysterious boating accidents/etc? I have conducted the LE end of things, which may be moving somewhere, but I have not even begun to think about the insurance end of the issue.
EDIT:
SERIAL # is 2055407. If you see this gun, it is HOT. And not only that, it's stolen. Ahar har. Please be aware.
Last Edited:
