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An elderly couple

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by fredball, Jan 11, 2016.

  1. fredball

    fredball Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.'The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know, the one that's red and has thorns.''Do you mean a rose?'
    'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'


    A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
    'Because she can still drive!'



    A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.''Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?''Twelve thirty.'

    Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
    The doctor said, 'I didn't say that.. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'


    A Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember..Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
    'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
    'Sure.'
    'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
    'No, I can remember it.'
    'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
    He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
    'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
    Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
    Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

    'Where's my toast?'

    Now, before you 'forget ', send them on to some other folks you know who could use a good laugh!!











     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2016
  2. Velzey

    Velzey Estacada, Oregon Gunsmith Gunsmith Bronze Vendor Bronze Supporter

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    Thanks for sharing! :s0101:
     
    U201491 likes this.
  3. STUKA

    STUKA Close to Milwaukie Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter 2016 Volunteer

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    My Grandpa is gonna love a couple of these!
     
  4. oknow

    oknow amboy wa. Well-Known Member

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    :s0140:Damn Fred have you been going through the Aarp website again:s0132:




    Good find
     
    Dyjital likes this.
  5. Sgt Nambu

    Sgt Nambu Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    ............Um....sorry! I forgot!