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AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by fredball, Jan 11, 2015.

  1. fredball

    fredball Vancouver, WA Well-Known Member

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    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
    , 1:43 am. E.S.T.
    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled
    The knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when
    I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan .. She had just bought me that Kimber
    Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... Isn't it?!
    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with crap in your pants. I'm sure it
    Was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. (That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again).
    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of
    What you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That
    Made his day!]
    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ..... After I broke the
    Windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
    President Obama as my possible target.
    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... But I feel this type of retribution
    Is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path
    You've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
    Thoughtfully yours, Semper if,
    Alex



    Wouldn't you have loved to be a fly on the wall when he got home to mama!!
     
    Stomper, Dyjital, Loptr and 2 others like this.
  2. 2Wheels4Ever

    2Wheels4Ever Portland Well-Known Member 2015 Volunteer

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    :s0140: Got to love justice.
     
  3. jbett98

    jbett98 NW Oregon Bronze Supporter Bronze Supporter

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    Too bad it's not true.
    Snopes.com did an article about it.
     
    BlindedByScience and mjbskwim like this.
  4. mjbskwim

    mjbskwim Salmon,Idaho Well-Known Member

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    Last I read it was downtown Seattle,lol
     
  5. BlindedByScience

    BlindedByScience Vancouver WA Well-Known Member

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    "..Semper if..."....?? Yeah, roger that.....
     
  6. Sstrand

    Sstrand La Grande OR Well-Known Member

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    JBett
    That is correct . . . Perhaps Snopes could create a category for politicians . . .
    They lie to us every day and enough people believe them that they get re-elected!!

    Sheldon