A Somewhat 'Serious' Moral Delema I Am Facing...

[RicInOR]

Well you tell me - severe depression, on about every psych med there is, a daughter who told her grandma (my mother) "Don't even think of leaving my mom in charge of ANYTHING family wise as she is not responsible money wise", displaying irrational behavior over the years, poor decision making with nearly everything in her life. My father agree? - I can honestly say I doubt it....

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Few thoughts.
1. You made this public, if she does something stupid then you could be held liable because you knew.
2. Would she pass a back ground check?
4473 11f
And given the note (every med out there I suspect MJ )
4473 11e

https://www.atf.gov/files/forms/download/atf-f-4473-1.pdf

Recommendation - buy her out, offer her some other piece of memorabilia in addition to the cash.

If she wants a gun, for any reason. Be there for her, take her to a gun shop and buy her one.

Your spidey sense is tingling, for a reason.

 

[Sgt Nambu]

Well you tell me - severe depression, on about every psych med there is, a daughter who told her grandma (my mother) "Don't even think of leaving my mom in charge of ANYTHING family wise as she is not responsible money wise", displaying irrational behavior over the years, poor decision making with nearly everything in her life. My father agree? - I can honestly say I doubt it....

RV, I'm sorry to hear about your dad! It's a very tough time, I know. This post makes me think that as the responsible sib you need to protect your sister from herself if there's even a hint that she might harm herself or others! Too great a downward mood swing with an easy out in the drawer could be tragic. By all means pay her for the gun but think three times before handing her the gun. Again, sorry! This is a poor time to have to deal with this type of Krap! SRG

 

[RVTECH]

Your spidey sense is tingling, for a reason.

Yes it is and past behavior is an influencing factor. I have no plans paying for it. My mom's opinion on this is also very revealing - for her to be this adamant about my sisters behavior and essentially side with me is very eye - opening. Typically my mom would take the middle ground. to 'keep the peace' but in this case she is not. My mom already indicated she cannot trust her and has been lied to by her - as well as I - and I ain't paying her for that. As I said previously if my mom had known anything different she would have NOT given it to me - AND a friend said yesterday, "Think of it this way - with your dad gone it's her decision anyway - regardless of what your sister thinks"

 

[BBQ Guy]

As suggested can she legally own a firearm?
Background check?
Mentally stable?

I know its not necessarily the course of action and/or a stance that is comfortable regarding a family member.
However i have dealt with a similar situation with my sister. It has been 2 years since we have had any contact.

 

[RVTECH]

As suggested can she legally own a firearm?
Background check?
Mentally stable?

As far as I would guess I know of nothing that would LEGALLY prevent her from owning a firearm but the point is she is as far from interest in guns as is Ginny Burdick. This is a highly unusual and strange turn of events and I am not in the habit of throwing gas on a bonfire but when I deny giving it to her I will be - but at least I'll still have the 'gas can'

 

[BBQ Guy]

As far as I would guess I know of nothing that would LEGALLY prevent her from owning a firearm but the point is she is as far from interest in guns as is Ginny Burdick. This is a highly unusual and strange turn of events and I am not in the habit of throwing gas on a bonfire but when I deny giving it to her I will be - but at least I'll still have the 'gas can'

True.
And having the support of your mom is at least what you wanted and more to the point what you needed to validate your opinion.
Best of luck in regards to this.
I know in my situation i wish things would not have gone the way they did, but with my sister no longer in my life i have less drama and less problems.

 

[RVTECH]

but with my sister no longer in my life i have less drama and less problems

And it ain't just us man, it seems nearly 80 % of men I know (who have sisters) report some kind of family issue with them - and some much worse than this but it all seems to have the same outcome.

 

[clearconscience]

Does she have a man in her life that could be pushing this?
Maybe her boyfriend wants a free piece.
Either way, firearms are not to be traded like a piece of furniture.
This is a dangerous item and can cause someone to lose their life. You if give it to her whatever she does with it is on you. And you have to live with it.
Personally I would rather her be pissed at me than have that firearm end up in the wrong place or in the wrong hands.

I wouldn't buy her out either. If she's in to drugs you don't want to enable her.

 

[RVTECH]

Does she have a man in her life that could be pushing this?
Maybe her boyfriend wants a free piece.

No - this is about hate, spite and jealousy. And she is not 'into' drugs in the illegal sense but anti-depressants and possibly other undiagnosed issues are nearly as bad.

 

[v0lcom13sn0w]

first off, sorry for your loss. this is what i would do... offer to buy her out for fair market value or flip a coin. call it in the air. heads or tails

 

[RVTECH]

offer to buy her out for fair market value or flip a coin. call it in the air. heads or tails

Thanks for the input but she neither owns nor possesses the gun - I owe her nothing. I never paid her off for the other guns my dad gave me and see no reason to for this one. I seem to miss what the coin toss would be for though.

 

[IronMonster]

Thanks for the input but she neither owns nor possesses the gun - I owe her nothing. I never paid her off for the other guns my dad gave me and see no reason to for this one. I seem to miss what the coin toss would be for though.

So you could say "Heads I win, Tails you lose"

 

[clearconscience]

I don't believe anyone taking anti-depressants or that has any kind of mental issues needs to be involved in firearms.

I don't think any question here buddy.
By denying her request your doing the right thing morally and ethically.

Your respecting your father more than giving his gun away, your following a promise every father makes to his baby girl. Protecting her, even if it's from herself.

 

[Velzey]

It's just a piece of steel!
You said you would give it to her, if that's what your father said. Just do it.
You received other firearms from your father, she can have this one. Not worth ruining a relationship with your sister over this! It's a hunk of steel! And it's just that!

I'm sure there is lots of good advice here... But I was in a very similar situation.. It caused massive family problems.. I loaded up the rifle, the dies, all the loaded ammo and made a trip.. I realized that this hunk of wood and steel is not worth a life of constant family problems...

 

[RVTECH]

It's just a piece of steel!

SO is all the scrap in my shop but the difference being none of it will accept .38 Special ammo or be able to be sold on a moments notice to a pawn shop. As previously mentioned if this were anything other than a gun it might be different but because it is a gun that raises the stakes - along with my level of responsibility. Ruining a relationship? Can't ruin what ain't there to begin with.

 

[Velzey]

Seems it's not really a moral dilemma then.. If there is no worry about your sisters feelings keep it.. But maybe you shouldn't have told her she can have it!!

 

[RVTECH]

But maybe you shouldn't have told her she can have it!!

Yea maybe I shouldn't have - but that was before I considered all the advice and potential ramifications. Heck lets say (for sake of discussion) I DID give it to her and she were to do the exact opposite of what she said (which she has MANY times) and up and sold it (a very real possibility) - what a horrible let down that would be.

 

[clearconscience]

And being of questionable character and emotional state, who is she selling it to?
Probably either some dirtbag or a pawn shop. Either way your dad's firearm goes for like maybe $200 probably less.

Even if you gave it to her, would that all of the sudden make your relationship better? No.

From the sounds of it you know the right decision, the only decision is to not give it to her.
Maybe keep it safe and one day she changes her life around and you can give it to her then.

 

[jbett98]

Any nephews that are of age and responsible enough to pass it on to some day?

 

[i3izzy]

Well you tell me - severe depression, on about every psych med there is, a daughter who told her grandma (my mother) "Don't even think of leaving my mom in charge of ANYTHING family wise as she is not responsible money wise", displaying irrational behavior over the years, poor decision making with nearly everything in her life. My father agree? - I can honestly say I doubt it....

I don't need to read the other pages to have my answer. You answered it here. You say she is mentally unstable. If that is the case and she couldn't pass a 4473 then she should not get it. End of story. According to ORS 166.470 someone who is suffering from a mental illness can NOT no own a firearm.

edit: forgot the not...