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So you smoke crack now?it's pleasurable, and offers the promise of more pleasure.
it's not, however, so pleasurable that it's worth the cost to health and wallet thickness, so it is a bit of a mystery.
i started smoking when i was a kid, 15 years old, maybe 14? at that time, in the early 90s, i feel like smoking was still pretty common. i don't know facts, but it feels like half or more of people smoked. most of my friends smoked, all of my family smoked, movie stars still smoked rampantly in movies, airplanes still had ashtrays in them (even if you weren't allowed to smoke in most Western airplanes [you can in fact still smoke in foreign domestic flights, all over this globe tho]), and while not exactly "allowed," my high school still had an unofficially designated smoking area out behind the school and it was fairly common for teachers and students to smoke together between classes.
the first cigarette i smoked was a djarum "clove" cigarette, and i very much enjoyed the buzz it gave me. i was also excited for this rite-of-passage, as i perceived it. i smoked off and on for the next 3 or 4 years until i got married and the wife put an end to it. i think when i quit, cigarettes were $3-4 a pack - spendy, but not a big deal.
fast forward the better part of two decades to my eventual (but inevitable) divorce, and i started smoking again because i could. c it was an act of rebellion against my puritanical ex-wife, an acknowledgement of the fact that i'd only quit because she "made me," and i wanted to be the only guy who looked cool in group pics. i also loved that i was the only athlete i knew that smoked, and was still winning races. there's little that brings me more pleasure than competing with a handicap and winning anyway!
cigarettes were now $6-7 a pack for GOOD smokes (am spirit), but still not financially ruinous or anything. we certainly already knew it wasn't healthy, but i think i just figured i'd quit once before, i can do it again when i want to. which is true... but easier said than done. i just really, really enjoyed it, and everything about it - i loved how much everyone else hated it, i loved that it made me look like i didn't "give a bubblegum," because i really didn't give a bubblegum about anything except how i looked - and i thought smoking a cigarette made me look pretty cool. but i also, of course, loved the little buzz, and loved how it was a mini therapy for emotional distress - life is hard, go take a cigarette break and resent and come back when you've calmed down! i loved the taste, i loved the feeling, i loved the image.
a cigarette and a cup of coffee in the morning (as i am doing right now)? aaahhhh... heaven. so good. a cigarette and a glass of whiskey in the evening? jesus christ heself offers no better salvation to ones soul, my friend.
there does absolutely come a point when it goes from something that offers moments of relaxation and pleasure in ones life, to a thing that actually CAUSES the emotional crises that it alleviates, once addiction is so set in that cravings drive one mad until satisfaction is had through smoking one. at this point, smoking goes from something voluntarily pleasurable to something more obligatory, and thus less of a "cure" and more of a problem in need of a cure. for me, that happens within a year or so of starting smoking regularly... but it can still be very pleasurable, nonetheless. that morning coffee and that glass of whiskey will ALWAYS be better with a cigarette, regardless of how addicted one is.
but then comes the point when you crave a cigarette, so you go smoke one, and it doesn't even taste good. it may even taste gross to you, but you do HAVE to smoke it, lest ye dive into a mood.... and at this point:
it's time to quit.
add to these facts that it's now $9-10/pack... jesus F chriky
but there are people who can smoke "socially" only. i have a couple friends who dont smoke regularly, but bum smokes off me when we're hanging out. they get to enjoy its pleasure without suffering its pain. i envy those guys.
anywho, there's my answer to this question. im sure others' would be somewhat different, but share many themes.
Lol, just kidding!
A play on the length of your post, which is of course cogent, germane and appreciated.
