
Originally Posted by
jbett98
How not to get rid of problem coon. True story.
Set Have-a-Hart, check. Place bait inside, check. Place in optimum location near shop where coon is residing, check. Come back next day, trap is sprung with problem coon inside, check.
Grab shop .22, check. Look for ammo, all out, what to do.
Decide the most humane way of dispatching this pest is to stuff cage with coon into heavy duty black plastic bag and funnel exhaust from work van into bag. Sounds good so far doesn't it. Start up engine, walk away and let GM and Arco do it's job.
One problem not considered is that after running through the catalytic converter the exhaust is close to 450 degrees. Mr Coon is now screaming bloody murder about this and sounds like a woman being horse whipped. Neighbors are opening doors wondering what all the racket is about. Run out of shop and turn off engine, coon is now silent, look into bag and coon is dead.
Dump body into bag and place in back of van. Decide to dump bag at work, because the dumpster will be picked up next day.
Now here comes the fun part.
While driving to work on I-84, Mr Coon comes back alive. Proceeds to tear the bag to shreds, and comes looking for the clown who gave him the massive headache.
I veer over to the side of I-84 as fast as possible, jump out of van and open every door. Mr.Coon now decided to play hide and seek under my tool racks.
Grab broom handle and start jabbing Mr Coon out the back door. Finally he jumps out and proceeds to cross the freeway, but instead of running in a straight line, he can't seem to focus on any one direction and wants to head back to my van (any port in a storm I guess). Luckily for him, the traffic is pretty slow and all the cars manage to miss him.
I slam all my doors and proceed down the freeway. Traffic is very light now, due to some obstruction on I-84 West the radio announces.
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